bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126696
 12.04.2016
At our entrance there was a rumor that a man had died alone, and this rumor, because of her speech, was unwittingly spread by the woman of Tamara. It turned out that everything was okay with the man, and today, when he saw her, he says to her: See, Tamara, Easter has not yet come, and I have already risen!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126695
 12.04.2016
I had a friend who liked to tell that he had an IQ of 92, and since the average is 90, it means that he has a higher intelligence than the average, and was very proud of it.
Now I can easily recognize this subtle line: under-average intelligence is when you don’t really know what the average is, don’t read the test cap (and generally the small font in any documents), don’t google in case of doubts, and in principle never doubt your correctness.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126694
 12.04.2016
xxx: News "A tower crane fell in India onto the Air India aircraft it carried" and I am: Staaa?
Yyy: Oh, these Hindus with their physics...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126693
 12.04.2016
Lizardian: “A collection of cult photographs of the last 100 years that demonstrate the grief of loss and the triumph of the human spirit.”
I like such names. It’s a pity that they don’t write – a unique photo you could have seen a hundred times in a collection of 100 unique photos you’ve never seen.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126692
 12.04.2016
from VK, <group>
There was a huge shrimp in my room today. Now this is his room.

The first stone
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Yesterday one of them flew a couple of meters. While I was surprised, I thought, and what is this horrible black mouthy shit? - flew into the polyethylene with popcorns, there shuffled... And, realizing that nothing can crumble, very clearly thought BILL! - and with a sad burn deliberately flew back into the window... I always knew that polyethylene with buds rolled!!! I recommend!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №126691
 12.04.2016
C 4PDA

In the Apple office:
Can we make a new design?
No, we changed it a few years ago, who else has any ideas?
Let’s fix the gloves on the old Devices?
Why Why? Let them buy new ones!
Do you want to add new emoji?
It is genius! We will do!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126690
 12.04.2016
Only then went with anxiety and started eating carefully.
I built a cat.

You killed the cat, not “built”. The puppet, youth.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126689
 12.04.2016
GOMEZ: You tell me what idiot should have called the company that makes cats "Hello Wood"?? to
And the question is, why did I buy it?
Gomez: The outcome is a bit predictable.
Gomez: "Someone from the garden came down"
I had a caries in my tooth. Now I will bring a new one.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126688
 11.04.2016
Reconstructors, Tolkienists... My neighbor makes stone-age tools using stone-age technology – this is where hardcor.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №126687
 11.04.2016
I decided to code. I went to a drug dispenser. I was not accepted. They said, “It smells like you.”

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №126686
 11.04.2016
How to love a guy at work when there is a husband and a child?
Advice from the user: If everything was well in the family, then I didn't think about this guy. If the family is more expensive, then do so-gather the kidneys of the rebar, cut three hairs out of your nose, a couple of his hairs, the husband's hairs, pick up 3 liters of your urine, and exactly at midnight start to cook all this. When you swallow all this to the cockroaches in the toilet, no advice will help if it is scratched.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126685
 11.04.2016
I love browsing websites with recipes. I am looking for new. I find the recipe "Solanka in Siberian, with mushrooms". Among the ingredients are olives and lemon..Since I studied geography, apparently a lot has happened.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №126684
 11.04.2016
How is your girlfriend you met on the net?
YYY: Yes, she is blocked on social networks! Everything is gathering! It is some kind of shit!! And asks everyone to repost every shit.
xxx: Well yeah) Laikofila and repostitutka )))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №126683
 11.04.2016
XHH: Ignoring yourself, Vladimir Vladimirovich, and not suffocating your skirpace!? to
ууу: we wait for the phrases from "Kin-dza-dza!" - " A violinist is not needed, native. It’s just excess fuel eats"

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №126682
 11.04.2016
VVV: Shash killed simply
vvv: "We are looking for players for a cottage role-playing game based on Sailor Moon and other fighters requires players for the following roles..."
vvv: I would never have thought that Seymour Moon was a militant.
VVV: But here you are...

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126681
 11.04.2016
You have idiots clients.

You won’t believe, but yes.
And that is good! The consumer must possess this invaluable quality.
Otherwise, we would have been mastering new planets for 50 years instead of inventing even more washable pads, a thicker dishwasher, and even more absorbing pads.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126680
 11.04.2016
A priest beat a businessman with a cross for a parking spot in the center of Novosibirsk.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126679
 11.04.2016
The cold writes a lecture, asking for the bill.

It is cold, hello. Can I go with a pair tomorrow? Make an account.
Wouldn’t it go without a bouquet? I am not one of them, and they will not understand.
It is cold, sorry. Android has corrected the message. I mean the runner. I am sorry.
Prepod: No, like the 21st century, tolerance, all things. Don’t be ashamed of your beliefs, etc. Take the runner.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126678
 11.04.2016
xxx: on the weekend put forward drivers-2
XXX I go fucking.
xxx: by fucking fucker with advertisement 1c
XXX: He threw her out in the quilt.
XXX: and she took and failed through the earth
XXX: Under the text
YYY: This is the turn.
xxx: from 1c nothing good was to be expected in 2001

[ + 18 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126677
 11.04.2016
[9:49:40] Kira Zorghe: The Morning
[9:58:21] systemshock: Huskies vibrate through the anus to make friends with relatives
Kira Zorg: I have to try it too
[10:00:33] Kira Zorge: the monastery of friends will finally get it

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