bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114099
 29.05.2015
With regards to pregnancy and sex with a pregnant wife, you are very beautiful and the belly is just beautiful and sex is peculiar because it does not hurt and if you do not need to go to the doctor, you should not be divorced. With respect, father of two charming children and a loving husband.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №114098
 29.05.2015
A 4-year-old child was given a whisper. The horror began, the child used the gift constantly, the aunt shone, the most needed was a gift. After a week of our torture, I said that the gift can only be used in the visits to the grandmother, because it is her gift, and you need to show how happy you are that she gave it. And so the child was constantly asking for visits to the grandmother (and the grandmother did not really like to argue with the grandson), and after the third visit I did not see the aunt for three months, and the whisper disappeared somewhere.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114097
 29.05.2015
I was in a similar situation - I was in the car with my husband and son. They stood on the lighthouse, and on the radio they say that people cannot touch the tongue. Well, the son in the rear seat started trying - it doesn't work. He says to his mom, “Can you?” and “Can you?” and “Can’t you?” and “Can’t you?” and “Can’t you?” and “Can’t you?” And I also have nothing to do for now - the red light, well, I also tried... We are sitting together three - we are trying to slip our nose. Here I see side-sighted motion some - I turn - in the neighboring car on the passenger seat the grandmother sits, looks at us and baptizes us... It became uncomfortable - I stopped. She caught my look - she sees that like an adequate person and her hands began to stop and almost froze....But here from the front passenger to me my wife turns with the words - "Shimatri, Pafti flapped!"... The grandmother began to baptize us more fiercely...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114096
 29.05.2015
Madam :

XXX: Aphrodite, Juliet, Violet, Makar, Eliseo, Miron, Arcadius, Aelita, Eve, Damir, Nicole... And only I alone, as a fool, brought Serjozh to walk.
____
In the original, two years ago, it was about Andrew

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114095
 29.05.2015
This esthetic:

Q: Would you fuck your pregnant wife? Would you at least get up on her? Somehow I am very doubtful. A bunch of male betrayal occurs precisely because of the pregnancy of the wife - you want to fuck, and from the wife in this state. Here you have to either sit for nine months on the "hungry patch" or look for alternatives. What does not prevent, by the way, to properly take care of the wife, and at the end of her pregnancy to return to normal sexual life with her.

Well, I fucked my pregnant wife - she and the pregnant beauty was. Months to four generally almost not noticeable, on the contrary, joked - said, you can not be protected. Months to six, probably fucking, as before (I don't like the missionary option, so the stomach was not a problem), then I had to make a discount on the stomach in all respects, love her carefully. Then go to oral/handjob. In general, our sexual life during the wife's pregnancy was no less intense than before and after (after not immediately, of course, for some time the oral regime continued). I see no problem at all.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114094
 29.05.2015
111: Grab a pit around the reserve, fill it with water and launch a patrol of trained dolphins!
See also: Crocodiles
Crocodiles are not trained. This is the problem.
They are bite :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114093
 29.05.2015
1998 year.by :
I swear to my father to go to the store for bread.
“Son, can you count me?
Father, I am studying in second grade!
2015 year.by :
I swear that my son will go to the store for bread.
What if I was fooled? I only study in second grade.

— — —
2015-1998 = 17, and another 7-9 years (the second class at the time) a total of 24-26 years. And that, if you take all the same average age of second grade, his son was born at 15-19 years old. Per you were conceived by older people and your parents did more with you?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114092
 29.05.2015
This is a personal blog. Everything written here is letters on the monitor screen. The mentioned registered trademarks, company names and personal names are also letters on the monitor screen.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114091
 29.05.2015
Deputy Minister of Culture of Russia Alla Manilova is confident that all Russian children must visit cultural objects in Crimea.

Yyy: I think there would be Nikita Mikhalkov, I would offer immediately, without ceremony, a tax on visiting Crimea.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114090
 29.05.2015
The elderly burned. Now I know for sure that we have a doctor grown up, my grandfather’s genes. Let’s go to honey in a year.
Our puppy is dead. Tragedy, but he died of old age, wrinkles were there, feathers tore, shorter, it was hard for her to live. The younger ones cried, the older ones breathed, I put the bird in a tea box to bury in the evening, yet so many years my husband's brain was endured, almost a member of the family.
The future star of medicine.
Just don’t bother and don’t tell anyone... Can I do it? and Oops:

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114089
 29.05.2015
2) If the employer has not issued an employee who actually works with him, then the employee will have to pay a tuna tax from a black salary, which is equivalent to the fact that the money was charged, and some of them are held in the form of tax.
-------------------------
So can start with such employers to fight, not with the population? We are so loved. After all, now the employee will say that the employer is bad and does not register in white. The employer will retaliate with a minimum fine, or even retaliate for lack of evidence. I fired a man. Nihra will not change, only a person will lose his job.
It is not necessary to transfer the work of organs to ordinary people.The employers should start, not the people to oppress.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №114088
 29.05.2015
From the discussion of labels on the packaging:

XXX: from the same time! And I always thought that the bottle on the package meant that the purchase had to be washed.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114087
 29.05.2015
I didn’t know about electricity for 30 years. Three nights on profile forums - home personally extended a new conduct. He never poured the floor until 30 years old, eventually did everything for the first time himself, polishing the forum for a couple of nights. Could you fool a specialist? could. But it was interesting to find out something new.

Will you be able to win the Bordeaux from zero in three days? No is? Go to the bathroom.
__________________________
With the ability to cook any recipe is mastered for 1-3 times. With a global inability to prepare, but with the presence of the Internet and/or a live teacher, this skill is also mastered, depending on personal inclinations. Over time, like any complex and creative skill. Anyone can be taught how to draw, although not the fact that talent will necessarily show up, or that anyone will enjoy drawing. Although if at the very beginning of the process to suppress, then training will be difficult.

All this, forgive me, about what girls/young people will give to their grandchildren. I don’t know any adult woman with a family who doesn’t know how to cook at all. Unable to kill a nail. Most adults can also cook. It is all to hang the shelf. Ask your grandmothers – did they all know how to cook from childhood? Oh yeah happy. Life will force you to learn, even if you did not know before, and even if you do not want to. Because who besides you will do that? Oh kids

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114086
 29.05.2015
Quote from the article...
If you are spending money to pay off debts (loans or mortgages), then it is best to use a envelope with a hieroglyph for "justice".

The first comment:
The author of Satan.


[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114085
 29.05.2015

Mikhalkov bought a ruined vineyard in the Italian Tuscany together with the businessman Konstantinov Tuvykin.

The first question is, why did he buy it? The second is interesting.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114084
 29.05.2015
You do not have to rush through life. For what is the point of throwing off the copper sooner?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114083
 29.05.2015
Yesterday evening, my wife, coming out of the toilet, approached me and quietly stretched out two pregnancy tests, which had 2 strips... I got so dull that I took them, laid them on her shoulders and said, "Hello, now you are a sergeant!" I am a stupid, happy fool.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №114082
 29.05.2015
Have you had a homosexual experience?
Well, one day I rebuilt without turning on the turntable.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114081
 29.05.2015
The head brought an article about BDM - Basic Trusted Module.
For some reason it seems to me that after the word Trusted must still be Systemic.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114080
 29.05.2015
No, well I saw everything... but to the phrase: "Open the file", open the system cover - this is the first time

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna