bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127733
 05.05.2016
How many economists and successful businessmen have gone by. Especially those who have never sold anything to anyone in their lives.
Normally, if you think something can be very profitable to sell better than the competitors, so open your business, why hinder it? And if you just want that only you get a product or service cheaper, then remember the joke:

A man approaches a prostitute - how much will it cost?
The answer is 50 backs.
Surprisingly, what is so expensive?
She is interested – and how much would you do?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127732
 05.05.2016
The new banking product is a mortgage. Buying a horse in credit.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127731
 05.05.2016
Damn, how cool it is to live in a time when progress is rapid.
XXX: I didn’t even think about such things when I was a kid? f ctqxfc vj;yj gjqnb d.kvfhn b regbnm
YYY: Khm, I’m not thinking about such things yet.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127730
 05.05.2016
In the city of Sestrorecke, a motorcycle plane injured an 82-year-old woman who burned on one of the local beaches. This was by Fontanka.ru on Wednesday, May 4.

Most surprising is not that there is a resort area in Peter, not the age of the victim, but that she has burned! 4 of May!
In Yalta +17 and rain.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127729
 05.05.2016
Why do you go to shops without money?
/////////////////////////////////////////////////

You don’t see porn?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127728
 05.05.2016
XXX: The weather is wonderful! I don’t want to work today. I want to walk and drink smoothies with ice!
The beard has not grown yet.
I have no maffins!
zzz: More glasses and envelopes are needed for maffins.
Is it just a beard? Will the week go down?
Oh, I’m going to make a selfie in compensation for not having a beard. Twitter is out! One slice should be enough!
I need new friends :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127727
 05.05.2016
XXX: entered somewhere in the store, and there the subject's face of unrepresentable appearance, with a smell, asks the seller what a bottle. Then he answers "sixty-nine", and the person asks "what, in nature, is POSITION or PRICE".
XX: What was it that shocked him that he doubted, the price or the pose?
YYY: I am sure, in the previous shop answered "these pasta will cost you cancer in your ass"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127726
 05.05.2016
How uncomfortable coincidences are.
Do you remember my neighbors? Alcoholics from a single woman, prostitutes from 51 and drug addicts on the other hand?
WOW : well?
I’m going to a concert this Saturday, all at the parade, white rouge, black arrow, all in crosses and turtles, beauty in general. There is a bell at the door. I went to open, and in the forebod, the painting with oil: the knee for the seventh day in the shower, the appearance corresponds, Alla without a wig, but in socks and underwear, Losha shakes like a dude and turns with pupils rented from the philine. We open the door, there two grandmothers, and immediately recitative: "Say-a-you-believe-in-God-give-we-teach-how-need". Well, I look at our wonderful company and ask: "What do you think?"

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127725
 05.05.2016
Sergey_Wagin : Hello to everyone
I don’t know who you are, but I’m sorry for your wife ?
Sergey_Wagin : Did you not understand?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127724
 05.05.2016
Philadelphia startup allowed to “resurrect” dead

Do you bet, gentlemen? Zombie Apocalypse, a matrix or another plot for RENTV?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №127723
 05.05.2016
The Hicks, Comments

xxx: Is a professional gamer something like a professional book reader or a professional crossword decoder?
yyy: No, something like a professional ball piner
xxx: Do not confuse physical activity with sitting on your ass and riding your mouse.
zzz: Professional poker players look at your claims with a constant expression of the face.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127722
 05.05.2016
Russian small business, meaningless and merciless.

Remember, when capitalism came to us again, many said that the West mainly makes money and wealth from the turnover of capital, and our preferred to sell 2 pairs of shoes a week at a ragged price than, without exaggerating the price to heaven, to sell much more and, consequently, to earn more, but at the same time to work more.
I see, nothing in the homeland does not change, as the people wanted to get money, lying on the side, and continues to insist on this. You lack the fields of wonders, honorable buratins, creeks, pex, faxes...
Somehow suspicious to me now hysterical distractions, ah, suffocating a small business, ah, do not let it unfold. Yes, you are better than any frog to suffocate yourself with your greed and laziness, no one on the side of you is needed for this.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127721
 05.05.2016
Today is 198 years since the birth of Karl Marx.! to
198 years ago! and Carl!! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127720
 05.05.2016
>"In case of fire break the glass, press the button, wait for the spark". A wise man decided to check. The button fell inside the box. Nothing more happened.

We had the buttons first included the syrene and the alert "leave the room";;
After a couple of jokes include only the arrival of the evil guard with the key "turn the button back"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127719
 05.05.2016
If you add "in the dwarfs" to life quotes from social networks, then absolutely everything becomes clearer.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127718
 05.05.2016
#######
“Hmm... Didn’t anyone tell you that you’re divine?” ahahah, study JS to understand how romantic a man is)
/////

A naive man. She will study it, understand what hernia you are carrying and go to the phapeshnik))

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127717
 05.05.2016
xxx: "Pognodoekdevik ordinary, pimono-gepty" - what kind of mushroom is it? Or "recognition" no one rules?

WOW: A philosophical question, and it doesn’t matter what it’s called, if it spells?

Zzz: I am sad to destroy a romantic moment, but... The false lemon-yellow rainfall is not poisonous, does not splash, and differs from the usual only in a DIFFERENT taste.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127716
 05.05.2016
Tutuskania: Inchalla, as they say in some Paris neighborhoods

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127715
 05.05.2016
School economies are devoted to:

We have no cars. And we don’t have shops... we have each house – on its own. This leads to a great confusion. In our house, for example, there are two mechanics, but not one carpenter. In another house there are only robbers and no mechanic. If you need, for example, trousers, you go to the carpenter, but the carpenter will not give you the trousers for nothing, because if he starts giving everyone the trousers for nothing...
He will soon be without his pants. Nico laughed.
It is worse! I shrugged the hand of a stranger. “He will not only be without pants, but also without food, because he can’t sew clothes and get food at the same time!
— It is, of course, so, — Nitochka agreed.
“So you have to give the crook for the pants, say, a pear,” continued the Unknown. But if the carpenter does not need a pear, but needs, for example, a table, then you must go to the carpenter, give him a pear for the fact that he will make a table, and then change this table from the carpenter for pants. But the carpenter can also say that he does not need a pear, but a tail. You will have to go to the carpenter. It may also happen that when you come to the carpenter with a tail, he will say that he no longer needs the tail, because he got it elsewhere. Here you will stay with a tail instead of pants! andquot;

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127714
 05.05.2016
to this

xxx: Kashmir - sounds like a slogan. Especially in the kindergarten.

Kashmir is a call to action.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna