bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113059
 06.05.2015
Well, in general, they’re both at the top of the food chain where they live, so it’s controversial.

Nihera, the lion eats the fleas!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113058
 06.05.2015
He can do anything, he’s a thief.
YYU: What a funny mistake.
XXX: This is not a mistake.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113057
 06.05.2015
One day half of the class came to school in jeans.
XHH: What the cool responds: "If you wear jeans, you are prone to suicide"
I never thought comfortable clothes would be so dangerous.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113056
 06.05.2015
Vasilyev was given a conditional sentence, lol.
He was fined 800 million rubles.
Theft of $3 billion.
They do not burn at all.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №113055
 06.05.2015
I lived well under Soviet power. You lie down, you eat from the bubble, the diapers change...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113054
 06.05.2015
The plot of the domestic mini-series: "A police officer retires and buys a restaurant..." Boys are not burning at all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113053
 06.05.2015
On the fifth day it came: after sex I immediately fall to sleep, and she goes to play an archage, and no one interferes with her, does not occupy the computer. This is female deception!
— — —
I now know what the word "tebb**si" looks like.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113052
 06.05.2015
<Chaser> funny situation when I came to drink tea, and there word for word she complained that her vibrator broke
<Chaser> decided to check on the spot
<Chaser> good, I carry a multimeter with me
<Chaser> and a pair of screws
<xxx> I’m going to get rid of it :)
<xxx> on the phrase "no decided on site to check"
<xxx> and then also introduced a multimeter and a pair of screws
<xxx> to become, and why a multi-meter?)
<Chaser> Ommeters
<xxx> if it shows a great resistance - you can't continue
<xxx> for this period give...)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113051
 06.05.2015
It seems that I am gradually beginning to catch up with where my reputation of an unattainable, high-moral virgin came from. Every time I invited my male friends for tea, we drank tea! Cake that I love cooked. Who is to blame that I just like to eat in nice company and crash with guys? I could offer something in a direct text. I am also very straightforward.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113050
 06.05.2015
Mmm: Listen, do you want me to give you the phone of a man who is head of the northern district? He organizes a unique tour of the Golans.
Hhh thank you! All my life I dreamed of a fun walk on the mine fields of the Middle East!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113049
 06.05.2015
Qqq: I was waiting for the bus at Kozhukhovskaya, in front of the car market, and this is what I will tell you: a man with a volga extinguisher in his hands looks like he went out to protect his home from a sudden invasion.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113048
 06.05.2015
The dollar was 67, now 51.
"And let’s cut prices by a quarter!"-
None of the sellers said.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113047
 06.05.2015
XX: Interestingly, what was found illegal in aerography... I can understand why you can’t buy bowls, pistols, toning glasses in your lisapets. But what didn’t aircraft hit them?
YYY: type distracts drivers on the road from what accidents are
XXX: Then Bab should be banned
XX: I go, and they distract me

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №113046
 06.05.2015
How many men here... why do I and couples I know have sex – not a favor from a woman, but a normal, pleasant for everyone, the process? Why do you choose women who do not want sex with you initially or perceive it as a way to get material goods? A huge number of women love high-quality sex, just many women need more time to warm up and generally have a key to each vagina to have an orgasm and other joys. But if you, reading this post, do not find it necessary to unleash your woman, ask her how she is more pleasant and teach her to be pleasant to you, then you deserve the barrel with which you live.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №113045
 06.05.2015

Where to steal 3 billion rubles? I will surrender to the authorities, pay a billion dollar fine and ask for a sentence of 60 years.
All the rest of life to cross the road only on a zebra and green, to regularly visit medical examinations, to move the old lady across the road and not to swim for bucks. I will lead an exceptionally sober way of life, weighing the feeds and scratches. If they can endure, sing in the church choir.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113044
 06.05.2015
The train, the plaque. I woke up early to wash. I look at the display: it is written that the toilet is occupied. Half an hour passes. A man goes to the toilet with a towel. Somewhere in my mind, a fool, you can’t read, a man opens the toilet door and a row of passengers builds behind him. I think I’m a fool here...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №113043
 06.05.2015
The news:
Olympic champion in jumps with the sixth Elena Isinbayeva signed a contract for service in the Russian army.

Commentary :
And here the General Staff of Ukraine is like this: "Blin, you will have to build a wall 2 meters higher..."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113042
 06.05.2015
From their reports it stably follows that China is bad with Buddhism, India is bad with Hinduism, the Paschals are digged wrong, Mecca is not where it should be, in Arkhangelsk they are not in the churches in the rhythm, in general everything is bad everywhere, except clearly which country, where, for example, a transgender mate can marry a gay mother with a TV. The Commission on International Religious Freedom is burning with the desire to show everyone everything - it would be happy to show astronauts - how to fly, peasants - how to sow, striptease - how to show, but the money is only enough for a file in PDF format with suffering about how everything is bad.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113041
 06.05.2015
Once I read in this group a story about how a guy was standing at the box office in a store and he lacked the little things to buy and then he noticed that the cashier, whether the mark of the right hand on the chest, or any other IP accessory. And he did not get confused and said two promising words: "VALAR MORGULIS." The treasurer answered "VALAR DOHAERIS" and forgave him the missing amount. I got into the same situation. Except for a few details: it was after 23:00 and I was buying alcohol, and there was an IP T-shirt on the cashier without attachment to the big house. She refused to sell me and I decided to test the fate, but instead of two loving words, I said (and I reminded me wanted to drink): "North remembers"! In response to what I received: "Best wishes from the Lannister"! As you can see, I did not drink that night!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113040
 06.05.2015
Have you heard of Error 300? and :)
YYY: Just about the one that Xerxes originated

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna