bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127673
 04.05.2016
A friend came to our town for a business meeting. I got up early in the morning, decided to cut the time before the start and renew the haircut a little. The first hairdresser. When asked how to cut, and without a back-thinking answered: "That’s how it looks". The girl looked at the road clothes, spikes on her hands - and confidently took the machine under 1mm. When the guy got the gift of speech, he already realized that Buratino himself, preferred to laugh rather than argue. The meeting went well, Ch.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №127672
 04.05.2016
The price of the machine in the SP - 1,500, 2,500 - filing. 10,000 net savings.
Cut it more often. Conscious of the benefit! and :-)

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As in that joke.

A neighbor bought a toilet. I go in, and he eats salt cucumbers with silk and milk drinks. He says he wants to pay the toilet faster.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127671
 04.05.2016
It is better for the owner to sit without profit than to make a small profit.

Sitting for 20 minutes is just as profitable as working the same 20 minutes for 175 rubles? Or am I not understanding something?
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Savings here for the glands - here I will try.
To begin with example.
From the house to the station by taxi 300 rubles.
3000 from the station. The paradox?
No, the bombs that kick at the beginning of the perron and catch you for the sleeves, is much more profitable to do one move than ten. I don’t know how much they pay for a seat, but I’m sure it’s not free. You can ride around the city all day, killing a car and earning 10,000. And you can do 4 walks for the same money. Do you feel the difference?

Same thing in the hairdresser. The girls are probably sitting on the household equipment and are obliged to pay for each customer. If it is a women’s salon where the minimum check of 1000 sugars surrendered some devil with a dirty head, who will have to be cut for free?

concerning the owner. There are such nonsense as charges, depreciation and so on. It is an uninteresting labyrinth of any business. And often supposedly small earnings turn into tangible losses. Could his salon in front of the tax and a special counter count all the customers, and then he gets the bill?

Open your hairdresser, beauty salon or any other household service and all questions will disappear like leaves in October. When you finish school, of course.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №127670
 04.05.2016
You do not understand:

That is, sitting for 20 minutes is just as profitable as working the same 20 minutes for 175 rubles? Or am I not understanding something?

Then this pepper will come on a busy day and will be loudly demanding that it be cut again for 175 re, and the last time they did! To the pleasure of all the customers present who just agreed to 450. I'm sorry, as a developer, for three pennies, even for no-fish, I won't make a website / application for anyone, because then these three-pennies will be overthrown - all normal customers will be discharged to me. Noah, I’d rather have an algorithm of some wise lesson or a new language than in your “two swings of the machine,” “tfu, two clicks on the key to forge.” A thing or service costs as much as it costs: don't like - look elsewhere.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127669
 04.05.2016
If you saw a friend in the distance and smiled at him, but approached and found that he was a stranger, then ask him, “Do you believe in God?” You will soften the situation.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №127668
 04.05.2016
In the school of boys and girls in our class was equal, so on February 23 and March 8 students distributed themselves who and to whom to give a gift. So, on the next 23rd of February, I was "stabbed" by one girl (I liked her very much) and presented me with a gift that was not very sour at the time: two tennis rackets and a table tennis ball. My happiness had no limit, but it lasted only until the next evening. This young romantic person came home to me, with a fingering, in tears and spotting, asking me to return the gift. It turned out that she stole this sports equipment from her older brother, and he did not appreciate her gentle feelings for me. How I was sorry for her...

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127667
 04.05.2016
Retirement at 65 and equality.
If this thing about why women are harder to find work:
20 years - will give birth, go to the decree
30 years - if she has not yet given birth, she will give birth, if she has given birth, she will be in the hospital without end.
40 years old, already married

This is when there will be no such stupid stereotypes, when women and men for the same job will get the same salary, not 15-35% less, when women will not be fired for being pregnant, when the job will be taken one who has higher qualifications and more experience, not one who has breasts and ass, when they will be promoted those who deserve it, not those with whom you can go on a business trip, then we will talk about equality. And for now I will say only that in Russia few men live to 60 years.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127666
 04.05.2016
Watch "Batman vs Superman"
The moment when Betsy says to Martha "I am your son’s friend"
I: Sorry, and will Clark go out for a walk?
I: No, he was poisoned with cryptonite
Take off your coat!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127665
 04.05.2016
What do you know about suspicious views? In the summer, a friend of the family came to us, a pathologist. He approaches and says: "Oh mangal, great! And I just brought meat."
Xxx: Everyone immediately shuddered and went home.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127664
 04.05.2016
xxx: I click in the search engine now "who...", and the first outgoing hint surprisingly surprises - "who am I?". and unexpectedly. I see, spiritually and with an unprecedented scale in the people celebrate holidays.
You are that, eat there! This is just the title of the film with Jackie Chan))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127663
 04.05.2016
I don’t learn because I don’t know myself.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №127662
 04.05.2016
and Ashan. In the corridor near the toilet stands a cleaner with a wheelchair, shovel, watershed and cries in the phone:
Damn, you are fucking fucking? How is it possible? Have you cooled there? How many times I told you! You cannot reduce both parts of a trigonometric equation to a function containing an unknown. You are losing your roots, fucking!! Well Alona!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127661
 04.05.2016
When the sewer broke, our correspondent managed to be the first to get in the thickest of events.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127660
 04.05.2016
An Indonesian fisherman found on the shore a girl, "an angel in white clothes", when closer consideration "an angel" turned out to be a sex doll.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127659
 04.05.2016
The main thing is not to kill CSRSS.
xxx: Because killing csrss can lead to killing windows.
Yyy: I cut it off, nothing wrong.
This is because you have your hands from one place.
If they were right, everything would be broken.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127658
 04.05.2016
Don’t play with Linux, you’ll become a penguin.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127657
 04.05.2016
From christa_eselin:

and ZIN! Do you know what I dreamed? - asks one grandmother to another, sitting next to her on the front seat of the tourist bus
Well?
It is dreamy. Lord Jesus Christ.
and no-o? It is called. by Sam?
by Sam.
And what said?
What did he say? It is dreamy. Don’t teach me what to do!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127656
 04.05.2016
BBB: YB
BBB: I can no longer go to the exhibitions as a student :(
aaa : aaa : aaa :(
Bbb: more precisely, as a student I can, and as a student – not

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №127655
 04.05.2016
XX: I wanted to make up my old memory. I read the magazines in search of cakes and find a recipe for the cake. And the sand. So I wanted to cook that it would swallow. He went to the kitchen, drank for courage and roasted meat.
YYY: A real man!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127654
 04.05.2016
Fishing would be more spectacular if the fish had voice strings.

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