bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112999
 05.05.2015
My acquaintance offered me to meet. I know her for many years, not bad, just we have very different characters, and in addition, lately she has spread a lot. I’m joking, so yes... 'That’s because I’m fat? No, I say, not just because... It’s now I know that the right answer is 'you’re not fat!'. Always is. Always to!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112998
 05.05.2015
<blink back> A summary of the April disputes:
April 6, 2015 What to do in the bathroom
7.04.2015 wrongly drawn sewing machine
8.04.2015 Wicked/useful cabbage for children
Bees / Bees / Earth Bees
Russian and American Dentistry
ESET/antivirus + bad/normal sysadmin
The DNR
10.04.2015 Gagarin actually flew
12.04.2015 The crumbling people of the USSR / Holy Humanism and Democracy
A lump for 60 years.
Nivea
"Eat at home"
14.04.2015 Theism and Atheism
Who created them, and why they dance evil dances?
18.04.2015 continuation of evolution-god-sracha
19.04.2015 Heinlein and the elections
20.04.2015 Testosterone and PMS
April 21, 2015 prostitute and prostitute
23.04.2015 Bearish Fools/Useless Cookers
Pay / Do it yourself
Rights of the tractor
27.04.2015 Good / Bad lived under the union
Prospective villages
Keys and untouchable hooks
28.04.2015 Salary and Labour Efficiency: here/in America
April 29, 2015 Women and Girls
Piracy and copyright
inventor of torrent: Nikolayev / Jesus / Prometheus
Who is to blame in wars: believers/atheists

ZY: I thought about gathering the topics of disputes for a year, but first, I turned out to be lazy, and secondly, you are so fruitful that you just can’t do a single quote.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №112997
 05.05.2015
HH: What do you have there?
I fought with my own.
XHH: What is it?
She went, she said, wash the dishes. I washed it and left it on the table. She was upset, saying why didn’t she wipe out, why didn’t she clean up the closet. I said, you said, did not ask, only said to wash.
Q: Did you argue a lot?
She did not argue at all. The next day I went to my parents, I said, wash the jeans, to go to work is nothing. I come deaf at night, and the jeans in the foam in the machine are lying. And she said to me:" You asked to wash. And to rinse, to press, and to hang did not ask."

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112996
 05.05.2015
Savuniasha: Today, again, the new Samsung refrigerator awakened strange loud sounds like knocking and cracking. In the refrigerator, neither the compressor nor the ventilator worked. Google suggested that these sounds are caused by a different temperature expansion coefficient of the refrigerator materials. But it is not easier for me. How to correct the situation? What to do? Per there is a solution to this issue?
Andrey P: This mouse is looking for a rope.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112995
 05.05.2015
The Blade:
to blasphemy

Vladimir Mayakovsky
“Who is Blind?”

not those
by Blade,
What bread
for
in front
and behind
They give us
by Fuck,
God forgive them!
Those fools –
The liars,
Money is
The Sweaters,
Eat is
Not giving –
This is crazy.
of the present,
Her mother eats!
------------
It is not Mayakovsky, but Ivan Barkov. Stop the nonsense.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112994
 05.05.2015
Private Bank of Ukraine is chasing. On May posted an announcement that organized multi-channel communication for customers and... and photo of Sasha Grey!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112993
 05.05.2015
Damadj: For lunch and dinner I sit around a pizza where it is 34 cm and paste or lasagna or steak
Damadj: And so every time
Th10: Going to the ass with your problems

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112992
 05.05.2015
Chapter 11: The Cat Shakes.
111: Stretch, just like a gay counter
222 What is it? Phahahaiah)
111, the car replacement by Freud (
222: Sukaaaaa, was

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112991
 05.05.2015
xxx: then and would write in the resume - PC ownership: complete zero. And not the "confident user".

PC ownership at the level: Fuck, what is it?! to

xxx: rather at the level: тааа, кампутерама, insider =_=.

@all_bor

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112990
 05.05.2015
xxx: Hi, I am back
How is it on the street? The sun, the rain, the wind, the snow?
xxx: yes

@all_bor

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112989
 05.05.2015
I taught my cat to eat twice a day: when I go to work and where I go back.
Seth came, fed and went to visit. They played the guitar and came back at midnight.
He fed the cat again.
He sat down for three minutes and stared at the wall.
Did you know Zen and Nirvana?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112988
 05.05.2015
The second day I wait, when at least one prostitute will write off on the subject of her salary, in order to stop the shit. and.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112987
 05.05.2015
A strange ass for their homeland is promised to be torn by those who can only beat their own throat.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №112986
 05.05.2015
Sometimes it happens that two stand, listen to the third, one understands this, and the other is the opposite.

We gathered a long time ago with the whole family for May holidays. My grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle and cousin brother and sister, the latter younger than me by 5 and 10 years, respectively. Brother already served in the army, did not want to study further, and arranged a guard in the security bureau. Then it was a new thing, and he boasted. Her cousin had nothing to praise. From an early childhood, she dreamed of becoming a bride and going in a white dress and fate to a crown. All of her children’s costumes, drawings, games, school works were related to the theme of marriage. She counted the years, and by the end of the month until her promising age of 18, when she could finally get married. Her girlfriends glued photographs of movie stars into albums and wrote songs. The sister collected excerpts of wedding dresses, recipes of festive dishes, as well as useful tips (how to remove the nagar from the straw, etc.). And now she is 17 and a half, she has almost everything ready for the wedding, and the bridegroom is not in mind, aaaa...., tears of the river. Somehow reassured.

After the holidays, the brother went out to work and told the boys in the smoking room about how he was soaked in tears all the feast.
She is a 17-and-a-half-year-old girl, does not paint, does not smoke, does not drink beer, does not go to the disco at all, dresses in sweaters below her knee, collects recipes. Not my sister, but the outsider who will look at it at all!
The guys agreed and laughed at the backward girl. Everyone, except their security chief, who passed through the Afghan war, was wounded and shot himself, left the army due to his health and was simply protected from the new Russians, their wives, secular lions, wolves and other priests, whom he guarded. From the story of his brother he heard that there is still in the white light a good home Alenushka, not struck by the scourge of avarice, greed, empty ambition and arrogance. He asked to introduce, and then straight to the script: flowers, dress, wedding trip. A year later, his sister gave him a son, three daughters, raised them to school, and then entered the medical college and graduated with distinction. She arranged to work as a surgical nurse, turned out to be rare interpretative and soon moved to a private clinic on a part-time basis. But most importantly, she did not stop for a moment being a loving wife, a beautiful mother and an excellent hostess.

But nothing is eternal. Fifteen years later, her husband suddenly changed to her. Not to walk, no, I just started to rude her, to say offensive words, to reproach, to strike wrong. The poor sister could not stand for herself at all, only cried and melted in her eyes. And then one summer, having gotten another bite and crying, she decided to get distracted and go for a walk of dogs with her girlfriend. Their dogs were brothers and sisters, and although they were already very old and walked badly, they were still happy to meet. She calls her friend for a walk, and she tells her that her dog is very bad, does not get up, cuddles from pain, walks under herself. My sister begins to persuade her. My friend on the phone said the following:
Is it bad for kids to cry and sleep? And how, it is expensive to call... and where to put the body? In the crematorium? How will he get there? Who will bury him? Will we be arrested? Of course I will help you.

My sister said on her phone:
You can’t tolerate such torture and tears. Because everything is so bad, you have to make a difficult decision and put an end to it. No one has to pay, I will come and sleep him myself, I have strong narcotic drugs. Why burn a body that is buried as a Christian, yet a member of the family. In the forest and buried. I will give him an injection, he will go there himself, he will finally enjoy the sun, the grass, and when he gets tired, we will sink him and just there and bury him. No one will arrest us, no one will think of us, and no one will prove us. I will help you, and when the time comes, you will help me.

The husband, who missed the very beginning of the conversation, in complete ofgenesis watched how finally the broken sister took a sapphire scarf from the warehouse and a bag of medicines from the refrigerator and left the house, knocking the door. How can a monologue be understood by a man who has been on guard for 20 years?

From the rupture of the pattern, his brains stood in place, and he no longer offended his wife. She did not give a reason.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №112985
 05.05.2015
If a man’s nails on his legs are painted with lacquer, it doesn’t mean he’s a transvestite. Probably just growing up a little girl.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112984
 05.05.2015
How to get rid of gambling addiction?
YYY: You know, there is a saying: “The further into the forest, the more wood.”
No one will help you except yourself. Did you realize that the games are disturbing you? Young man, do not play. What advice did you want to hear? Turn 5 times against the clock, rub the left nipple with the right heel?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112983
 05.05.2015
xxx: And Fortran is already dead, or is it still used somewhere (all the research institutions there, departments)?
My grandparents compiled!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112982
 05.05.2015
I can’t drive a car with the right wheel!!! Yes, I have been riding a bicycle "Ural" under the frame for 3 years!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112981
 05.05.2015
How do you violate your rights and copyright!!! I can’t read that useless stuff anymore!!! Let’s talk about prostitutes, but not about authors anymore! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! :' and :'

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112980
 05.05.2015
A little snow blows,
The night is going big.
Why are you, fool, not sleeping?
Your neighbors are sleeping.
And my neighbors.
Only you will wrap.
C*ka ><

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