bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127633
 03.05.2016
Talk of sister and girlfriend:
Q: I don’t use flash on my phone. It makes the image flat.
C : Oh! Take a picture of her stomach.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127632
 03.05.2016
I go home from my parents, in my pocket I burn the alarm from the car, I approach the entrance, I get the keys from the car, I press on the control to open, I pull the door - I wonder why the entrance did not open, because there was a burning burn somewhere nearby...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127631
 03.05.2016
I click in the search engine now "who...", and the first outgoing hint surprisingly surprises - "who am I?". and unexpectedly. I see, spiritually and with an unprecedented scale in the people celebrate holidays.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127630
 03.05.2016
I recently listened to a dialogue between two girls aged 13-14 on the street. The girls looked at the inscriptions that someone had made on the wall.
First Virgin: Some anal inscriptions.
2nd Virgin: 8 [ ]
1st: Anal inscriptions, I say...
2: In what sense?
1: Well, when the author has not signed.
2 is anonymous.
1: What did I say?

I read a joke about the blonde.
My new boyfriend is a veterinarian.
Chapter 2: Have you fought?
No, this is the one who doesn’t eat meat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127629
 03.05.2016
Tell me what kind of music you use when cleaning the house and I'll tell you which generation you are from :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127628
 02.05.2016
And yes, there is such a thing, like a button, necessary if many circles are drawn from the same center, so as not to scroll a hole in the vatman.
Thank you unknown friend. Without sarcasm - from childhood (at drawing lessons), and until the end of work on the culman (because they were replaced by an autocad with unigraphics), I didn't even guess why in the cooking room this little shit, and only one.
Z is. I did not have to ask, because because of its apparent uselessness this "button" usually did not delay in the cooking room :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127627
 02.05.2016
Every born child will grow up in love and care. Children’s homes, shelters, colonies for minors will not be needed. The population of the Earth will sharply decrease, the problem of overpopulation and lack of resources will disappear. In each country will grow a generation of good and honest people who will unite and transform the planet. The class?! to

A world without suffering can only be built by destroying all who are capable of suffering.
(Irina Syromyatnikova, "My life")
This quote is remembered to me every time I read about another utopia with an inclination to eugenics.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127626
 02.05.2016
Here you are so smart and good, but where are you all in real?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127625
 02.05.2016
I do not like smartphones.
This is what you have?
This is iPhone.
Is the iPhone not a smartphone?
No, smartphones are on Android.
and clearly.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127624
 02.05.2016
and Hey! Philologue, say an antonym to the word "philologue"!
and fucking.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №127623
 02.05.2016
It is difficult to contain laughter when the next character comes to terminate the contract on the internet, because he bought a WIFI WIFI router.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127622
 02.05.2016
We live in Germany. We learn about religious holidays either from relatives or from social networks.
Today is Orthodox Easter!
I : Yes.
Do you want to cook an egg?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127621
 02.05.2016
On the morning of May 2, GIBDD stopped twice. Did you drink yesterday? How about health and self-esteem? The therapist doesn’t ask me how to get GIBD after the holidays. I offer them, in addition to the rod, a stethoscope to hand to immediately listen to bronchitis. Good good hybrid. He sits under a tree. Inhibits the fox wolf and frog and worm and forest spider)))

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127620
 02.05.2016
This opponent :

>>>> > Read and learn You really didn’t understand...

I don’t understand anything, dear, why do I hide? Do you consider aggression and humility to be an additional argument in the discussion, or simply do not know how to communicate otherwise?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127619
 02.05.2016
Microsoft has found a way to create a data storage device that can store virtually unlimited amounts of information for as long as you want.

xxx you are! You can finally save it on the Internet flash!


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127618
 02.05.2016
I walk here somewhere on the Volga coast, listening to music. Spring, the heat and the sun. The people are full, they walk with children, sit on the benches, walk in a hurry. And all such smiling cute nice people...
In front of the bench, where two cute girls were sitting and one night I stop to fix the headphone, pull it out of my ear and hear a gentleman sitting between the girls, graciously hugging his ladies’ shoulders and smiling, gently saying to them, “Oh you asshole...”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127617
 02.05.2016
Whenever someone talks about the rainy weather or the white nights of St. Petersburg, Murmansk and other inhabitants of Zapolyaria only shake their heads and breathe, as everything is known in comparison.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127616
 02.05.2016
Linda
We hadn’t met before, and I secretly loved him. Once we sat together with him in the cabin and watched the anime... and then he went out to the toilet.
On the bed was his couture. his. The Coffee. And I tell myself that you shouldn’t smell her, Anastasia. It is immoral. Will he suddenly come in? No is. ought to. her her. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127615
 02.05.2016
The forgiven sins always return to their masters.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127614
 02.05.2016
Chicken grill... We had a company store. And even with the branded bags... With a drawing on the bags... On which the cock with a very satisfied face holds that chicken-grill, well-friended... On my astonished question: “Why, forgive me, he is so happy?” The seller thought for a moment... “And this is his aunt!” The answer followed.

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