bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97384
 03.05.2014
<cyberSpice> translate the text "These elephants eat apples."
<boojum> andcolbe tide ыnols itte
<stolz> boojum: in Uzbek?
<boojum> yes
<stolz> figured
<boojum> toothpaste
<stolz> and you really know Uzbek?
<boojum> and
<stolz> and the elephant will weep?
<boojum> no
<stolz> is it?
<boojum> yellow
<stolz> a
<stolz> there order another
<boojum> ugu
<stolz> :)
<stolz> has just arrived

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97383
 03.05.2014
This is:

@ the other. I love Japan very much, I live here for 6 months a year, I don’t understand one – WHY? How did they break their brains? America dropped two atomic bombs on them – and they kiss America in the ass? It is above me.

Did the Japanese know that the bombs were dropped by the United States? Or do they have something mistaken about this in the textbooks?


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97382
 03.05.2014
My childhood was harsh. If others ate cabbage for my mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, and kid, then I ate them, if I stayed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97381
 03.05.2014
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Today at work it was fun) The boss approaches one of the engineers of our department and says quietly: "We need to go down, silicone uncle to connect and adjust..." All the department went to silicone uncle to watch)) It turned out, the trainer "Maxim III-01" for cardiopulmonary and brain resuscitation with control of correctness of actions. Unfortunately, we have just finished the labs on labor protection, it is no longer possible to mock this mannequin... Although, judging by the cost, students will not be allowed to breathe on it)
But fucking, in the set even a sports suit and ceds for this Maxim were!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97380
 03.05.2014
Moxnatiy, for example, can you archive a collection of movies, music, photos that are stored on a 500GB HDD so that it all fits on a 16GB flash drive?
<NASH-MYASH> Moxnatiy: It is possible!
<Moxnatiy> NYAŠ-MYŠ: and how?
<NASH-MYASH> Moxnatiy: There was such an archivist. No one told me that I should be discharged!
Moxnatiy: In the time of FIDO there was such a fake archiver who cut off a piece of the compressed file and hid it somewhere on the disk, and the remaining small piece repackaged it to look like an archive, and issued it for the result.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97379
 03.05.2014
HH: It was such a joke! She went to preserve her course in the nursery, where she first gave birth. But I gave birth in the day, and here is the night, the holiday, the first of January, no soul. The door is closed and there is no guard. I have fights! But at thirty meters further on the fence, the same gate grows up. We are not proud, we go for a walk. I am passing by the guard house, from there, the uncle is sleeping, says, where are you? I say I’m lying to you! And he smiles like this: "You come to us early! We have a morge here. And at the birthplace in the previous passage, knock louder." Ppc.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97378
 03.05.2014
I don’t know where else to ask.
If the software is not officially supplied to Russia, then there should not be a piracy claim? If so, they have strange sanctions.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97377
 03.05.2014
Museum of Military Technology of the Great Patriotic Period in Moscow. Next to the T-34, self-driving cars and "catchers", a masking grid is stretched across the square, because of which food smells delicious. On the entrance is the inscription: "Cool kitchen. Shashilik, plow, lily kebab and other things. P.S With a more detailed acquaintance with the array of soldiers' cuisines, it turned out that on the battlefield they still drank beer, soda from pots and ate chips.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97376
 03.05.2014
The most powerful motivators: hunger, cold, fear and fucking.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №97375
 03.05.2014
My girlfriend has a three-year-old son who matures so that the ears of adults are worn.
One day the parents decided to give the heir to the kindergarten.
Well, and the first day, of course, there was a problem - who of the parents will go to take the child home. My mother went with tears in her eyes.
Gathering the baby, she was very surprised that the educator does not burn with the desire to discuss with her the issues of philological education of her son.
When they left the kindergarten, the mother asked the son the only question:
– Sunny, you didn’t have a whole day?
What the child said to her:
What are you, Mom? There are children!

[ + 40 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97374
 03.05.2014
One day, the donkey of a peasant fell into a deep well.
While the owner was thinking about what to do, the unhappy animal began to make complaining sounds. Finally, the peasant decided that the donkey was already old, and the well had to be buried anyway. And it seemed to him that it was not worth wasting that effort in order to pull the old donkey out of there.
He invited his fellow villagers to help him bury the well. Everyone friendly took the blades and began to vigorously throw the ground into the well.
Osel immediately understood what was going on, and began to issue a terrible whisper.
Then, to the general surprise, the whistle stopped.
After several consecutive portions of land, thrown into the well, the peasant decided to check and see how it was down there. He was very surprised at what he saw there. With every new speck of earth falling on his back, the donkey did something absolutely unbelievable - he shrugged and stood on top of the land.
While the neighbors continued to throw the ground into the well, the animal each time shrugged and stood above the ground that fell from above.
Very soon everyone was surprised, because they saw the donkey climbing up, jumping over the edge of the well, and sinking away, like a wheat!
In life you will encounter a lot of all kinds of dirt, and life will send you a whole new and new portion. But whenever a new piece of earth falls on you, shake and rise up, and only in this way will you be able to get out of the well of life.
If you don’t stop and don’t give up, you can get out of the deepest well.
Cut off and go up!

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97373
 03.05.2014
By the way. I love Japan very much, I live here for 6 months a year, I don’t understand one – WHY? How did they break their brains? America dropped two atomic bombs on them – and they kiss America in the ass? It is above me.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97372
 03.05.2014
With the debt:
"and the humiliated suicide has already taken a warm bath and wiped the shave blade with alcohol."
God, don’t let the infection get in the wound. You can die...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №97371
 03.05.2014
ForNeVeR: Do you measure the length of the ban by me?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97370
 03.05.2014
Lorana: Listen, are you not a Jew?
Alex: Why are you asking?
Lorraine: It is clear.
No, but there are relatives.
Lorraine: Who doesn’t have them?
Alex: Dad and Mom.
I mean ? ? ? ?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97369
 03.05.2014
Today, someone will have sex, someone will play striptease on the table, someone will drink Coca-Cola whiskey, and only you, as always, online.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97368
 03.05.2014
Temple of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. 50 Years of WLKSM
Chelyabinsk is a city of contrasts :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №97367
 03.05.2014
The new virus "Bomble"
He does not remove anything, but just rolls in the basket.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97366
 03.05.2014
XXX and UUI install the old program
He has such an old installer. So many memories
WOW: Yes, straight feels like the smell of Windows 98, modem and patience
Oh yeah, nothing of that now...especially the last one.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №97365
 03.05.2014
Pulherya: He asked, what is my weight? I answered, 100 He went away, not knowing that he was sitting there.

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