Daughter Alsu won the world championship in figure skating, bypassing son Ian Rudkovskaya only 0.5 million. The ruble.

Summer 2010, I sit on the driver’s seat in my Mazada 626 Cronos, the door is open.

Large parking, 200 meters, along the park, in one row.

I can see someone fast approaching me.

A 45-year-old man runs and catches the door sharply, opens it to the end and looks at me. The look is aggressive and at the same time expresses confusion. And is silent.

I say :

What to do!

He is silent. Second 10 looks at me and the front panel.

Then this:

- Fuck, not my car, I thought you got into my car. I look like my car, and the magnet is different! I have exactly the same simple. I remember parked around this place.

Here he turns his head and finds his machine not far from mine, she was 10-15 meters nearby and leaves joyful. He ran on the left side, and she was on the right side of my car.



I think it was fine even though I didn’t get out of the car right away and didn’t hit.)))

It was one of my first jobs, where I went as a graduate student. I was taken to a small budgetary institution, which contained a small tabernacle as part of its extra-budgetary activities. I was responsible for him. The job was, as it is called, not a bay of the lying - money was received from the accounting office, the goods were purchased cheaper, prepared an advance report, a report on the bank of the seller received, and delivered revenue to the bank. Revenue was usually 50-100 tires. in the day. For a student from the age of thirty rubles, the sum is not a huge one, but a cosmic one. Sometimes, of course, I put myself up and gave money in a few days, accumulating up to half a million timber. But no one tolerated me for this and did not explain the concept of "cash discipline". I calculated the cash very carefully by hand, glued it with a strip of paper on which I wrote the number of notes, the amount, the date, put a signature, and locked it in the safe. In general, I liked the job.

But here, I’ll go into the office one day, where I find a cheerleading director. The eyes immediately fall to the safe. The heart is spotted, and the anus is reflexively compressed so strongly that even a molecule of helium does not slip into it... because the door is open. The Director is such:

Oh, and here are you! Why is the safe locked? We have Chapo! The revenue increased!

There were 230,000 in the safe. I won’t earn that much in a year. I remember closing the safe. Through growing panic, I try to ask questions:

I definitely locked it! What to do now? Calling the police? Who else has the keys?

The keys? Dirk pretended to think. Here is you, here is me. No more of anyone. The police will hardly help. Anyone who could find it will not find it.

He begins to fall out of the office. And I see that his leather jacket’s inner pocket is suspiciously sprinkled. And when he makes a step, the floor of his jacket slightly bends, and I see that he has packs of money there. Taking hold of it as if it were a puddle, still not fully aware of the situation, I throw myself over it:

Wait to! What money do you have in your jacket?

I have me? Those are the others, miss it. He tries to pull my shoulder away. For some reason, there is a confidence that if he leaves now, then I will crash 230 tons without registration and SMS. On the adrenaline, I catch it for the jacket, I take the money out of my pocket and see that it is the same lavender from the safe, I put together in packs and signed.

The Others? Why is my signature on them?

The director of the second shrugged five eyes and said:

Good that we found it! And a bottle of bottle runs around me and falls. And I stand, hold that money in my hands, and try to understand. What the fuck is this? This was the first and last time I worked in a position related to material responsibility.

I went on a trip to Istanbul. After all the affairs were done, he tasted the local shaurma in a fairly decent place and went for a walk around the old town. I walk through the narrow streets, contemplate the local color and then my intestine decided to express its feast to the local cuisine. The search for the toilet was unsuccessful. I had to improvise. I run into a hollow street. I catch the cardboard rolling there and sit behind the garbage tank if necessary. I exhale. What a relief! And here above I hear a native Russian speech: - Man, I told you not to go here! Wild people on the streets!

Soviet caricatures of the “capitalist west” have become relevant again.
Now they are about us...

The Soviet people

A friend told me a little about his family’s history. They are from the Kazan Tatars. In the 1930s they were dismantled. The eldest of eight children has already been married, escaped deportation – he left for Uzbekistan and lived there. The rest spent the entire period of deportation in the Krasnoyarsk region. After the expulsion period, the whole family returned to Kazan. And his grandfather Nazib remained in Yenesaysk. He lived there with his family, from there he went to war, there he returned in 43 when he was commissioned after a serious injury. After the war, his family persuaded him to return to Kazan with his family. Sold the house, property, cattle and bird, and returned home. A year has passed – it’s not all about him. not like it. My older brother was in Uzbekistan. He came there and lived there for another year – he didn’t like it either. Lust for Siberia. I wrote about this to a friend in Yenyaysk. He replied, “Come, of course, we will help!” and this was just the spring – the beginning of garden work. And this friend, being confident that Nazib will soon come with his family, grazes a garden not only for himself, but also for Naziba, plants potatoes, sows everything for two families... little more - decomposes his house with a fence in half, and cuts a separate entrance. Nazib came - here is your house, here is your garden... Nazib raised eight children in Yenesaysk, waited there and grandchildren.
One of those grandchildren, who is already a grandfather, told me this. He says: "We were not surprised at the time of such friendship between people, help... This is just an example of relationships that were considered normal... Called this friend of my grandfather - Semen Ermolaev."

Norway banned deforestation three years ago. How do these idiots live?
They buy the forest from the fools who sell their own.

For 7 years I have worked with children, schools, clubs, camps - stories of darkness. But I will never forget that. It was the first experience of working in the camp, the first trip to the sea, wine at night and... 34 children in a load. So it happened that two completely different delegations were identified in my squad: 20 children from Moscow with paid passports and 14 boys from a children’s home from Perm. As you can see, it was a wild change. But most of the problems, strangely enough, were related to the Moscowis. For on the third day of the shift, we and our partners noticed about ourselves that all our requests and remarks to the boys from the kindergarten are immediately fulfilled, if we transmit them not directly, but through the oldest boy Serjog, who in the boys indisputable authority. But among the Moscovites there was one picture - we will call it Sasha, who is said to be on the side of the frost. Sanya broke away as he could: squeezed the girls in the bags of dead medusas, the toothpaste poured the river on the little boys in his room, he broke two windows, broke the patch of the patsanu from another squad, etc. The list of his feats can be listed endlessly. And, of course, he spoke solely matto.

What we just did not do, and we talked to him, and invited the elders, the psychologist, the chief - the blameless, he built a guilty look, said that he would not be again and, leaving the director's office, answered someone with a junkie.

Do you know how it all ended? One day he brought my partner to tears that he saw Seroga, approached, asked what happened. Despite the fact that Sanya precautionaryly did not touch the children's homes, Seroga proposed to talk to him. We did not believe in the success of another conversation, so we agreed. They called Sanya to the cabin, where Seroga, sitting on a chair and smiling with a beaten front tooth, said to Sanya:

“Listen, Oops, I am not a leader, I will not ask. Another bit - I'll say that I hit myself, you'll smile like I hole holes.

And you know what? It worked. Probably because Sanya understood that the conversations would not end here and he would definitely come. But until the end of the shift he acted below the grass. This is not pedagogical, I agree. But it helped?

I do not like to share. I am not an ameba.

The most famous bank. I make a payment on the name of Sedova. The cashier is a pretty cute girl, young, in uniform, stretching the check. The recipient is Siddhartha. “Girl, I said, receiver SEDOV, from the word ‘grey’. I was angry, and I wrote that. I have to say that through “E”.

Where will you take me for May holidays?
Go to your mom!
And for the New Year?
I will come, I will take...

It was a long time ago, I met at the time with my future wife and as to behave in such cases I tried to make a good impression on her parents by entering with them in, often useless, and empty conversations.

One of which I remember, when I remember him, I always smile.

Her father, God give him health, spent 16 years at sea on Murmansk vessel bases and, accordingly, was in different countries about which he was not always willing to tell, every proposal had to be pulled out of it with "chips".

Have you been in America?

was was.

And in Canada?

He was also...

Was it in Africa?

In Cape Town.

How is there? In the Cape Town?

At that moment he looked closely at me, silenced a little and said, "And just like here, all black.

I haven’t talked to him any more about the sea.)

told my brother. The words of my brother. I am actually my brother, X.

I came today to install a water filter in the kitchen. I met a young woman and showed her where to put it. I did my business, the housewife watched. Her phone ringed, she replied with a couple of phrases and asked:

Q: Do you want to discuss this now?

X: Wait a minute.

X: Young man, have you seen the Avengers?

I : No.

X: I have a master here, I haven’t watched Avengers, I don’t want to spoil. I’ll call back when he goes.

I thank you.



Not a blockbuster, but thank you. Brother is a big lover of this cinematic universe, even in the inets is not afraid to learn too much.

Today, a colleague told me about an interesting incident that happened to her last night. Following her words.

The evening. Food store on the letter P. There is one box office. The turn. I join the products with the waiting. Behind me stands a girl, and behind her three guys of some nationality. The guys get bored and they turn on music on the phone. Like music, rap with my mother. Behind these guys stood a healthy drunk man. Someone is calling the girl. She responding to the call loudly begins to tell that in the turn some guys are listening to rap with her mother. And then he adds that if they don’t turn off their music, a healthy man will definitely do them. The man was humorous. He pulled out the phone, called someone and said:

“Hello, Cole, are you in our area today? It is great! How many are you human? very well. Come right now to the store P, here the case appeared.

I also decided to participate, to be sure. I took the phone and called my husband.

Hello, go to the store! I am scared. There will be clashes here. Some guys listen to mother-in-law songs, cheat the matte and they are now being detained by the police.

A miracle happened. The guys turned off the music. I apologized and quickly left the store. That’s what I know about collective work :)

It is not from chamomile and parmesan to give up, but from margarine and valocordine, which the whole world has given up.

This story happened to my school friend Alexey. It happened when there was no order in the railway stations and airports. Alexis waited quietly for his transfer in the waiting room. It was not too long, 18 hours. He entertained himself as he could - he was going to re-read the masterpiece of literary thought from the series "I am a thief in the law" for the second time, as he suddenly saw the Gypsies breeding the same male traveler.

Alexey came closer to this company and he heard fragments of phrases: “You have a deadly spoil”, “you need to be shot urgently”, “everyone will die”, “you need money or gold”. It was visible that the poor man under hypnosis, the most speaking Gypsy woman, was driving him through the face with a pen and drumming something. The other 5-6 formed the background. The man was behind his wallet. Alexey imagined himself without money in another city and rushed to protect the unknown.

- Comrade Roma, citizen with me, it is time for us to go, - he took the unhappy man under hypnosis for his elbow and led to the side. He immediately felt that he was being dragged away by the skin. He turned around, behind him stood a large Roma child with golden teeth. Through his teeth he cried:

Go where you went. I pay!

Was cut in another city Alexey did not want, and he left. Meanwhile, the man gave the Gypsies a gold engagement ring and a watch. There was a sense of justice in Alexei. He found in his pocket a melt jacket that remained with him after painting on the asphalt with his niece. I resolutely approached the crowd. Sitting at the feet of a man. As in the Gogolov "Vii" outlined a circle, within which was himself and a man. He raised his hands up and started screaming like a crazy man:

Anon Eehelen Edro Hi Amen! Fanos Nohosrim, Lasto beh Lamen!

The fact is that Alexey loved Tolkien's Lord of the Rings very much. This Gandalf's spell he learned in a way. It meant, “Elphic gates, open for us now; gnomes’ people’s gates, listen to my word.” Alexey worshiped and shouted the spell over and over again. His word was listened not only to the gnomes, but also to the Gypsies. Nervous, they began to be baptized and went away one by one. Alexey saw that same Roma child with golden teeth. He looked badly at Alexei and bragged something harshly. Alexey recalled his favorite scene, “Gandalf’s battle with Balrog,” a demonic creature, and, looking into the enemy’s face, spoke to the whole station:

I am the servant of the secret fire, the keeper of the flame of Anor.
The dark fire will not help you, the flame of Uduna!
Go back into the dark, you will not pass!

The face of the Gypsies was blurred. He fell on his knees. Then he took out the gold jewelry from his pockets and folded it into a circle of crust. Alexis couldn’t stop in the oral:

Go back into the dark, you won’t go through.
The poor Romanians said:

I have nothing more! I have teeth, but I need some time.
Alexis did not stop:

I am a secret fire servant.

The Gypsies cry:

I have a family. I am scared! The police help! They kill! He quickly got up and ran away.
At the end of the day, there were two people at the entrance to the station. Alexey stood up, stripped off his pants, and said to the man:

Take it, here is yours. Be healthy, don’t get involved anymore.

The man looked at him with shaken eyes.

How much do I owe you for removing the spoil?
*** by
When my children ask me, “Why do I read? It is boring! You can watch a telecast with YouTube,” I always remember Alexei and that gypsy with golden teeth, smile and answer the words of Felicia Jeanlis:
Those who read books will always control those who watch television.
c) A. Bessonov

And how will the freedom of Mizulina increase many times if she is forbidden to open her mouth and express her intelligent thoughts???!!! to

I bought a fitness bracelet, mainly because of the pulse meter - the heart gives a crendel( but also to increase activity, such as dropping a couple of gays would be great. In the course of use it turned out that to the daily goal I lack a couple of thousand steps. And here this blinking screen and compliments from the app really made me take my file to air and reach.

But already in the course of several ventilations it turned out that in 2 thousand steps the route to the store with your favorite unfiltered and with the entrance to the fishery behind the belly of the samga is perfect.

I still hope to lose weight...

Conduct in Taiwan. It is best to put a bell on the clothes. His voice scares the bear. And it is better not to walk on the bear trails - they can be recognized by the presence of a bear's mark. It is not difficult to understand what a bear is. Usually there is a bell.

If anything threatens Russia, it’s not the cats of the West, not the uras-patriots, not the fifth column, not the liberals, not national clashes, not a permanently dormant prime minister, but effective managers.