On the street, a grandmother reads to a 12-year-old boy: "Well, how could you put a blue shirt on the line?" Everyone will be in white, and you alone will be in blue! This is the Last Call!" Boy with a sad breath: "No, grandmother, he’s not the last..."

Lin: “Ideal neighbors” are those whom other neighbors think no one lives in the apartment.

Only in Russia the state postal organization does not bring you home letters and notifications, but twice a week properly delivers advertising of miracle devices.
And only in Russia can the armoured argument of this disorder be the innocent “we are paid too little.”

I go to the field tomorrow.
To lay on trees
The wind of the fucker has fallen
Drops of wet from the face

I am gradually gaining awareness of age. He burst out a lot, speaks unrelatedly, and generally wants something strange. Type "do not listen to the heart, listen to society", "think at least once not about yourself, but about the future", the truth then falls on "and let us eat cherries?"and all moral teachings go in vain.

We also talk about politics. Alexander believes that all power is from God, Demid wants mass shootings, and Serega - that everyone needs to be replaced by artificial intelligence.
“Let me think... Alexander is a midl, Demid is a gentleman, and Serega is the head of the department?

There is such a famous film stamp - a person wearing dark glasses, suddenly becomes unrecognizable even to close relatives. Always hiccalled over him - well, say, they are stupid. And recently, due to an eye injury, I had to walk in smoke glasses for a month (to protect against any foreign objects and bright light), and for all this time 15-20 times I heard: "Oh, it's you? I did not know you! ".

In short, they probably aren’t stupid, but I’m very insightful. Good luck, fuck it up!

The searchers who searched Yandex claimed that everything was found.

One highly technologically advanced bank from the market leaders sent its spam with invitations to become a customer on the list of contacts of smartphones after installing a mobile app. He treated people as they were on the list of contacts. Very picky situations resulted. "Hello, Balbes, do you want to be our customer?"

<xxx> You are all idiots!
<yyy> And you are our King.

The Accounting Forum:
It’s good to be a terrorist – you don’t have any accounting or tax reports.
222 How is it? Someone is distributing money. He is reporting up.
333: What is it that he is accounting for? Not in 1C.
444: If you’re in the shell, then Microsoft can be attracted for terrorism.

The Law of Attraction, you say?

Yesterday a man sat by the window in the electric. One of the two opened despite the spirit. I closed the window. In a half empty car. And this despite the fact that the window blows in the opposite direction according to the laws of aerodynamics. And I was very surprised when I opened the window when the shower became unbearable. I began to cough and eat strepsils.
I think he is one of those who are surprised that walking on the sidewalk in the presence of a sidewalk gets angry drivers.

Hurricane in Moscow.
Alexander: we have today next to work, a tree fell on the summer veranda of the cafeteria
Koshem: Pff, here the stops flew away
Koshem: A tree has fallen.
Alexander: It didn’t just fall, it bombed the entire summer veranda, and they just set it up on the weekend.
Koshem: When they said that five floors would be demolished in Moscow, I imagined it differently.

One day my colleagues gently gave me a rat. 30 generations of selection for benevolent behavior. I have had various rodents all my life. There was no such devil before or after. It destroyed any cage, intimidated the cat and entered into a criminal conspiracy with him to steal food. Filming eggs and eating stolen cream with a tail were almost a daily practice. In the hands was reluctant, the guests were bitten by the heels. Demonically sitting on the window (living on the first floor) and frightening passers. Generally speaking, I now better represent the model of domestication. Yes is. It is :)

The repairman delivered. has arrived. I grabbed the cat (I caught it). I looked over the murdered wall, pulled something, part of the wall fell (then I will take a picture). They talked, he gathered home and said such - happiness, a minute. He goes and masterfully catches the cat that has grabbed from him, glays, kisses his nose.
The Power of Cash! :D

Why does my lover insist on visiting me?
mm: wants to mark the territory))

Voyager-vvm: There are many things in the world, friend Horatio, that will be banned in the Russian Federation

A friend came and complained.
He says our developers are uneducated. We put the monkeys in the tea. He said he was in the elevator. The elevator is slow, there is a crowd of programmers.
During this time she heard 3 decent words: "function", "adapter" and "cache".
We pretended that they could discuss there and said that we supported, joined and even ready to develop.

When I was a kid, tamagochi was very popular. I wanted to have a toy, but I couldn’t afford it. So I sat on the shifts and watched other children play.



During the summer holidays, my mother promised a surprise for the new school year.

“You wanted tamagotchi,” she said when she handed me a red cat. He also needs to be cleaned.



I did not cheat.

Chuck Norris swung his fingers into the socket and killed the electric current.
vanile_joker2: but Chuck has more than 20 victories in combat, with none of the fifths and no defeat.
Sagax: It’s strange that Chuck had to kick his fingers into the socket to kill the electric current.
Komar: In this way, Chuck Norris just gave electricity a chance.