Sometimes, in order to find a bad dancer, you have to sleep with the whole ensemble.

It was in the lesson. We were lucky at shooting. The program also included the throwing of grenades. In general, the position of the troops is this: there are a bunch of soldiers, before them all the military chiefs (observe), and even further the fortification of blankets, for which you have to throw a grenade. The flag already near the fortification personally explains to everyone: it is a grenade, it is a fire, this is how you insert, carefully twist, remove the ring and sweep away... Then you report to the observing command, how good you are.
Another young man. He stumbles, throws and... runs after the grenade! The flag clearly bleached on the background of the tires. And the brave soldier catches the grenade, lifts it up (it fell and did not explode - this is what happens and means that it will do a BOM! at any moment) and runs with her toward all these majors and colonels. They were not even able to escape from surprise.
Comrade commander, reports the ordinary Ivanov! I forgot to remove the ring.
It was smiling, but not immediately.

Ilon Mack has expeditiously launched 60 Starlink satellites, which will allow the inhabitants of the Earth to use the global internet at the love point of the world.
Pocciae awaits the revelation of Pockomnadzopa - whether they are the livestock of the Earth or not.

He walked through the courtyard, decided to smoke, in the pack was just the last one.

He threw a cigarette in his teeth, a packet, began to look for a lighter, did not find it. There were no rare passers either. I decided that the absence of fire is a sign, I just try to smoke less. While looking, he put a cigarette behind his ear and forgot. My hair is not long, but my ears are closed, I can’t see.



Coming home, we are just visited by relatives from Kazan, father's brother and wife. We all sat down at the table, we ate, we remember how many years they did not come, Uncle Vadik tells us how he babbled us and Leše with small puppies, walked through the parks and showed tricks.



In confirmation of the words, Uncle Vadik puts his hand behind my ear, going to get a candy from there, and gets a cigarette stored there.



I am, of course, an adult boy, I smoke for four years, but my mom and dad do not get upset, so I didn't say anything about it.



Laughed, Uncle Vadik covered, said that his puppies grew up and the tricks now corresponding shows. But when his parents did not see it, he still read it like a foolish teenager and threatened to tell his parents if he saw it again. Just like in school, when he burned me smoking behind the house, эх, nostalgia.

Before meeting my second husband, I thought that there was no romance in marriage. It just seemed to hinder.

I met at an event where I helped cover the tables. Working clothes, not painted. Better as at home. He fell in love at first sight. I immediately proposed to meet. Without flowers or care. On the first second and third dates, I went fishing to the river.

A couple of months later, he calls:

I made you an offer. Give a ring or a certificate to choose for yourself?

Give me a certificate.

A few days later, I received a certificate:

Will you go for me?

and UGU.

Great, we went out to eat.

Our entire wedding is a trip with our parents to the woods. In the head of the wedding photo, I am without a haircut in a T-shirt, my husband with a piece of shale in his mouth.

The top of romance for us is a evening with rolls and beer/ wine in front of the TV.

Families are surprised, they say that you need to create a romance at least in the first year of a relationship. We are norm. We are happy.

The price of the palaces in the country, if in the houses of destruction!

I watched the bullshit around schoolchildren from Vladivostok, who somehow did not, in the opinion of the adult public, dressed up for their last call.
There is hell! The director of the school in hysteria is fired, honorable moms angrily shake their second beards and shake their eyes, the police reacted promptly, Andrew, on horses, possibly crime, fines are issued, checks are conducted, parents are fined, and everyone shakes and shakes - this was not the case in our time. What is this?! This is due to computer games and the internet. I want to ban all this!
Comrades, if this is the 11th class, and now the eleven classmates in the majority are already 18 years old, because they are studying for 11 years, not 10, as we did then, then what are the questions to adults? They dress as they want and are not obliged to ask anyone’s odorable opinion. They can already do everything that is not prohibited by the RF Criminal Code. And in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation it is not forbidden to wear torn jeans with straps and stick to a black isolant. They can already give birth and change gender, and they are blamed for some ripped jeans here.
In the autumn, if they do not, they will take everyone to the army, where they will be dressed in the uniform in which they kill and die, namely, in the military. And no one will be angry with that. No one will say - well, these are children, they are only 18, what kind of machine to give them in their hands?! to
Purchased a police form? Why is it sold so freely that any student can buy it? What if not a student will buy it, but a healthy barrel, and then in it will come to the retiree with a check and take her all the valuable from the house? Could shops that are so freely implementing shape and distinctive marks be checked and closed? Why sell it at all? Police officers are given her at work, for free. The rest do not need it.
Probably now somebody will say - but if your kids are like that, what will you sing? Well, if my at the last call do not come up with anything better than dress up as a police officer, then all my educational work, and in particular the cunning, with a sublime request to break the wreath first by one prut, and then wholesale - will go to the dust, of course. And as a teacher, I will be ashamed and defeated by a ruthless puberty that is not characterized by compassion.
But I will not get hysterical, because my children are not my property, and if their brains work, well, then there is no other.
In any case, no one was killed, drugs were not taken until the loss of human appearance, and therefore - and blasphemy for nothing. Let the schoolchildren have fun, we also had fun at the last call so that thank God for the absence of phones with cameras and the Internet with YouTube in those old days. I don’t know where the fun was more fun. So that.

The Russian team lacked the main bomber, who scores ten shots per match.

I was sitting in the park waiting for my friend. And on the opposite bench was arranged a couple of girls of student age. They sit and talk about nothing. There are fractures before me. Themes jump from school, on their boys, on an upcoming trip somewhere at sea, again to study. Nothing interesting is short. But next to us came one person with a really juicy ass. It wasn’t that I looked up, and even the girls stopped cuddling. Friendly carried a whirling caretaker eyes, and one another said:

No, did you see it? Pippi, this is the cardan!

and ah! Give the second.

This is overdrive. You won’t even find these pants.

Okay, and don’t say it!

The ass is huge!

At all!

And then with sadness:

Oh, I would have such a...

Oh... oh... oh...

I realized too late that I got married too early.

Cats should not read it. This story happened a couple of years ago, during the holidays. My brother and family went to Sochi by car. Not the best idea in my view. Nearly three days of road. He is more visible. As an instigation, they made promises to call upon arrival, and tell how they were arranged, and the respondents to water flowers and take out the mail.
Four days later, the newly-picked tourist called. By the acid tone, it was possible to understand that he was concerned about some hemorrhoids, which he wanted to share.
The neighbor in the garage called. He says that behind the wall there is a cat crawling. Need to do something. Open the garage and release the animal.
Shut up, shut up to him. With white heat such shit often happens.
He does not drink at all. And the phone calls, brother, did not respond.
The garage box used by the brother was a relic of the eighties, and more like a bunker. Walls in three bricks. The gate weighs half a ton, and the lock of the system fucking breaks. Everything is caught so that the cockroach will not pass. I did not have the key. documents as well. The Emergency Ministry can and will break, but it will be very convenient to hire a brigade with welding and lifting for restoration. What I brought to the listener. It brought very emotionally.
“Nothing to do about this,” a reluctant relative reassured me. I sent you the key.
It will come in two weeks. Beware of your arrival. I had to go with the first. Two days and that’s all. I summarized my life experience.
It was forbidden to take guides. for the terrorists. We sent you Russian courier mail.
The key is never like an explosive or plague bacillus. And after chasing out the story of a locked cat, no guide will even take money from you.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Once I sent.
Everything will be normal. Two days maximum. It is on Thursday, end on Friday. – I counted in my mind brother – We wrote your phone there. So wait.
I was waiting. There was no call on Thursday or Friday. The weekend was also quiet. No one bothered me on Monday. On Tuesday, I called the holidaymakers and told them what I think about cats, garages, neighbors in general, and about the Russian post in particular. We agreed that if they don’t call tomorrow, we’ll do something.
I wanted to think that this "what that" would not be an option with an emergency system, a lift and welding.
This week was surprisingly hot, almost like in Sochi. What a cat or cat did not want to think.
A long-awaited call on Wednesday morning.
Your banderol came, he gave a loud voice.
I am happy, young man. As a man outraged by Daechel, he had already begun to speak the address to which I should deliver the package.
We do not do so. You come to us with the documents and you receive.- Then followed the address of the department, working hours with a break, and assurances that they will be happy to see me.
to ahrenet. I take documents for courier delivery, a cat bag, rubber gloves and a respirator for myself. It’s about forty minutes and I’m entering the post office and relying on the line of half a hundred pensioners. to ahrenet. To the surprise of the courier delivery a separate bucket is allocated. There was no line there. There were two young men missing. After my explanation of the call and the reason for the visit, one of the young men silently handed me a form to fill in. The presence of clients of young people was clearly annoying. When filling out the form, I did not refrain from commenting on delivery times. My irony was not understood by the postman.
- Yes, you know, a week is still very fast. - The senior obviously said, checking the passport data with the forms. - Time to receive the delivery.
The date is there. Before the signature. I did not understand the conditions.
Set hours and minutes. The postman explained tolerantly. We have an express delivery.
Trying to avoid obscene expressions (debils, bullshit, dumb monkeys) not in account, I briefly explained that in the 19th century, a horse depeas was delivered from the Caucasus to St. Petersburg in a week. He caught fast. Why this noise? They are not guilty of anything. It is impossible to change the system. If teleportation is invented, delivery times are likely to increase. Give up reasoning, time does not wait.
Running out then, exhausted by thirst, hungry, angry donja (the day is lost), I opened the garage door, preparing to meet a wave of wrath. Right on the threshold, he was thrown off by a faint and thin but alive creature hiding in a labyrinth of garbage tanks with a sad war. Here are those on. Ten days without food and water. How many of his nine lives has a cat spent in captivity? I don’t put the mind. Later, discussing the circumstances, we assumed that this insidious creature entered the garage early in the morning, when the brother was driving out the car. The smell of a fishing projectile dropped in the garage probably attracted the animal. The next thing you already know. I anticipate the screams of animal defenders that we are livemakers, and that it was necessary to immediately open the garage and feed the animal, not counting the cost. well well. What if the neighbor felt? Still break, will say heart-hearted ladies, all of whose protective activity is reduced to a call about a cat sitting on a tree and not having the opportunity to descend. Strange, but the TV comes with TV. The rescue operation is broadcast on all channels. I don’t know anyone who has seen a dead cat on a tree. All this is done at the state expense. Rescue workers usually get out of work once they come. Television is always positive. A bit cynical, but real.
However, if there is a person who spent on the life of one homeless cat one and a half thousand rubles (mail fees) a day, a bunch of nerves, roaming and transportation is not in the bill, I will take off my hat and apologize. So be fired.
I saw that cat later, a bit remembered. Car service in the co-operative. Thick and sluggish. Post of Russia – and let the whole world wait!

One day, Winston Churchill was gathering on the radio to speak to the people. When he ordered a taxi, he asked the taxi driver in front of the building if he could wait half an hour to get back. The taxi driver, not knowing Churchill, says he can’t wait, as Churchill is speaking today and he rushes home to listen to his speech. That liked Churchill and he paid for the trip much more than was agreed. The taxi driver looked at the big money, and then at Churchill himself and said, “Let’s go with his speech, I’d better wait for you.

10 years ago I managed to earn an incomplete fracture of the bullshed bone of my left leg. 7 unique weeks in plaster, and now I can almost freely walk around the street. And to walk more moist, I bought myself a simple foldable adjustable truss. This is the sunny June. I go somewhere in PAZik for my business, in the headphones of the Kipelov sings to me about Babylon, I stick a little, thinking about my own... But here in the transport comes a girl. She sits in the opposite place, facing me. And in a couple of minutes I notice that she looks in the reflection of my sunglasses (mirror aviators) and repairs her hair. Then she went a little forward and, still catching the reflection in her glasses, tried to put her finger on her lips. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I smiled. I take out one headphone and say, “Girl, would you like me to give you a mirror?” And she shrugged and replied, “Oh... sorry. I thought you were blind.

History lessons are not only badly learned, but are quickly forgotten.

“I’m sorry,” I told the driver, Andrew. Is this your fly, or can I let it go?
- Leave, if you do not bother - the taxi driver immediately turns on. “This is Anatoly, he needs to be in Pulkovo.

The phrase "excess of official powers" in Russia means that the official stole more than was allowed and did not share.

My parents stayed in Syria in the 1990s. We went to the Ali Baba restaurant. They were served by the owner, he was also called Ali-Baba, I don't know if it was a name or a nickname.

I ordered a cup of coffee and some ice cream.

Ali Baba, how many of us?

of two dollars.

At that time it was cheap. I paid, I liked it. The next day they came again. We ordered lunch and ate well.

Ali Baba, how many of us?

of two dollars.

Strange is okay.

Another day, they called friends, came with a crowd, ordered everything, ate, drunk.

Ali Baba, how many of us?

of two dollars.

Ali Baba, can you count more than two?

Ali Baba can count his money.

How long did you hit us for the first time?

This is my business ;)

I never thought I would get into such a situation. I have already written that clients try not to eat or drink (sometimes me! work to be done). And now, probably, from the raised water and then I'll shrink.

In general, the situation is normal - I come to the house to put the boy sounds. The family is new, cockroaches in the heads of people unknown yet. While my pupil was running (to change clothes, to find one pupil, to find another pupil, to chew a cat, to write, to hide a toy, to get a toy), at this time I split up, sat in the kitchen, washed my hands, and the pupil was left to sit down. Here floats his gently smiling grandmother, holding a glass in her hands:

Take care, it is for you.

“Thank you,” I said, “What is it?

And you try.

I put a glass on my face and I feel amber. No, not so though. I feel the hell with a specific shade of acetone. I am pale, green, and I understand that I am about to say goodbye to lunch in the eyes of amazed customers, and I am throwing the glass back to the old lady. But she does not take him! He pushes my hands back:

Do you try! The Fresh! This is very useful! I drink every day.

I try to hide behind the chair, under the canvas, behind the wallpaper, anywhere! I go and put a glass on the kitchen table. I ask :

and v. Does he drink that too?

“Neee, he’s a little bit dirty, so we can’t drink yet. But I will pour him into the soup for a drop, and he will get used to it. So you drink! It is fresh!

A happy child goes to the kitchen, leads his nose and gives:

Fou, grandmother, you’re cooking your notes again! I already wrote in the toilet.



The fucking. I was mentally shot at this place.

The strange thing is life experience. When it is possible to accumulate its solid stock, it is not very time to use it.

A story from the U.S. that shook up the entire Internet there and barely led to a war between the sexes. I pass it on from the first person:

My wife recently stated that she would no longer do me mines and there would be no oral delights from her. The explanation is simple: she never really liked it, and I think she can do it. In general, she is right, because I cannot force her into her mouth, because she has the full right to control her mouth. But!

We have a tradition that every Friday we eat dinner with the tests, her parents. These are people of old hardening, very difficult in communication, but the tradition itself has been more than 10 years, just as long as our marriage lasts. It turns out that every Friday after work, instead of resting, I have to spend time with people I can’t tolerate. Why am I doing this? To make your wife happy!

Overall, I told my wife to let her think what she wants, but I won’t do anything I can’t tolerate anymore – spend Friday with her parents.

In response, she stated that I’m a ass and it’s totally different situations. I disagree – we both stopped doing things we didn’t like doing, although doing so made each other happy. And we both have the right to be backbone to each other.

Am I a ass?