A man is never too old to learn something new.

I want kefir.
There is wine
I don’t want wine.
Let’s go to the store.
M: I went crazy, half twelve in the night!
Kefir can be purchased 24 hours a day.

XXX is a fool.
YYY: It is certain!
XXX is about you.

She thought for a long time where there was incest and martyrdom, until she realized that it was the Bible.

From Habr from the post on active noise suppression:

MaGIc2laNTer: Just because of the abundance of oscillations at low frequencies, a nearby perforator will still not give you rest. The screams from the street can be removed.
Sabio: I once cleaned my Saiga with an open window in the summer. The closet lay, the street became noticeably quieter for a while.

And here one boy, distracted, from the run-up crashes into a standing car and breaks his leg. The car has a wing.

When I was in second grade (1982), I was cycling with a friend along the sidewalk along the residential neighborhood. The Volga was slowly moving out of the neighborhood, I could not see it. He began to circle the pit and crashed in full speed (10 km / h, no more) into the forehead of the Volga, which at that time had already stopped (the driver saw me). I lay on the hood myself, the keys on the rope from my neck flew into a crack and fell into the hood. The man jumped out, asked if I wasn’t upset, was very worried. I asked for the keys and we left.
If the Volga driver learns this story, let me forgive him, I didn’t know it was so harsh at that time. City of Gorky, Automobile Factory, Yellow Busyginsky.

In general, it is fun to watch War of the Worlds Z on TV, not in a notepad or a movie theater, where the picture with a bloodthirsty zombie stuck in the helicopter frame is not replaced by an organically cuddly black man who feeds a giraffe.

The eldest daughter is preparing for GIA, struggling terribly.
“Mom, do you remember what the "angles of the corner" is?
I think 1/2...
No, what is it? Do not know? It was useless, right? She gave birth to six children - and it didn't help?! to

How about a diploma?

and expensive

"Science "

In the game of Alias. Explain to Johannesburg.
XXX: Capital of South Africa
Tagged: Johannesburg
I thought it was somewhere in Germany. I had geometry everywhere.
xxx with geography.

___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Apparently, geography was weak for everyone. South Africa has three capitals, but none of them are Johannesburg. It is only the largest city in South Africa.

Alkas comes to the village village and says to the seller, typically stretching the words:
- Dushia, look, I have been taking water from you here for a few months, I don't have money, so you write in the notebook.
Well what? Tired of asking.
Here is! He raises up with a large gesture the finger of Alchas Arsenius. - I offer to charge a February vodka for 10 rubles per bottle, and then I may give you money.
- Go to work, alkas, there is no rescue from you, idiot! I scream because of the shelf.
– Excluded – reports Arsenius. – I have not been there to work, I am a key point of rural policy, many people are interested in me, and I can sing and jump beautifully.
Just try to scare my buyers drunk with their screams! says the duo. I will call the district.
Here is! The idea! I will now go to the district and write a statement to you that you refuse to sell me February vodka for ten.
That is, you are sabotaging the trade in the village: you could get live money, right away, and you specifically do not want, because you, Dusya, are a harmful and bad woman.
“Go away from here, Thunfisher,” said Dushia, putting his hands on his sides.
“I’ll fix it – a European,” says Arsenie, hitting the doorstep and rattling. “And I’ll be back here in 24 days with the local, and we’ll talk about your ugly and anti-human credit policy.

seberya: and I learned today that Maxim Galkin is the grandfather of Nikita Presnyakov.

C Lora discusses the success of Debian GNU/Hurd

Omega, Ace users with a popularity of 1% ridiculed Ace with a popularity of 0.001%

to this:

Lentach: Rospotrebnadzor prohibited sugar and chips in children's camps
Lentach: How children will drink beer without chips, the ministry did not specify.

Whiskey without Coca-Cola is also in question.

I in 2008 had an image of Civilization IV (yes, now it lies somewhere at home, I will find if I should), which weighed about 150MB, when mounted in the demon it opened as a full DVD 4+GB, the game went with all the video inserts and other shell... how it was done I still don’t know

is very simple. The technology has long been known. It is called "pisset - not a bag to wrap".

Masai men have five to eight wives.
Each of them lives in a separate house.
Built by her own hand.
of cow cows.
As it sounded in the beginning :)

About the Safe Internet League, Mizulin and the child pornography base:

You know, considering all this hallucination, I decided to set up a met-laboratory at home. In the closet I will grow cannabis, in the washing machine to synthesize acid, and under the bed to grow psilocybes. Over the apartment I will hang the flag of the League Against Drugs, and if they come to me with a search, I will turn on the "Mizulin" mode and begin to tell you that it is impossible to steal drugs from me, because they are only accessible to the League staff (me and my friend). And in general, we gathered all this huge base of drugs only to hand it over to the State Control. And if the mints want to take the drugs from me (my base), I’ll say to them, “No-No-No, guys!” You only have the numbers and the check amounts, and the drugs will remain with me. I’m not a drug addict, I’m an ideological opponent of all this, and that’s why I gathered home the largest collection of drugs in history!

LifeNews journalists: It was delayed when they heard the Chechen speech.
Chechen language reassures better than Ukrainian. What other achievements of Maidan do you know?

We live in the private sector. A police officer enters the neighboring house for the second time in a day. Police officers knock into the house and neighbors do not open, like no one at home. One officer says to another:
Inside is closed.
The answer pleased:
Burn the house, they will quickly escape.

The philosopher:

As one of the smartest men, whose opinion I trust unconditionally, says, “Why do you need someone else, if you are so beautifully pulling in the shower to your own back?”

We still need someone who can express the judgments that arise in the head, or suddenly the internet will turn off.