He invented the shortest screenplay of the film about the exchange of bodies. Twins change bodies, wake up not in their rooms, change rooms. The end.

The teacher of the son sent a letter: "The 11-year-old boy was sad at school" and suggested that the reason was a break with the girl he met. How do you respond to such a letter, except "you are all there fucking?and "

In the small town where I was born, for five years the mayor - like some bandit, with a very dark past, but... During these five years, two sports complexes, the central boulevard, a movie theater was repaired, the park, the square and the territory around the lake were restored. The old school has been rebuilt so that at first it seems like you are in an elite college somewhere in England. Roads in the city are also being repaired. The rest is in small things.
In the city where I live now, the main attraction is the central town hall near the station and the cinema, which has been built for sixteen years. The mayor has been in office for 16 years. So much depends on a person.
I went to elections and voted for others.

Was there an order? I. o Am I or a creature that is trembling?

I can only comment with one phrase: Hold the door!

I call on the work of the realtorche (after listening to the dark stories about children coming out of the butterfly age from the female team), there is a dialogue:
I: So when will you send it?
R: Oh, I don’t have time at all: I do not stop running all day long.
I: em... okay, thank you for the information, of course... so I wait when I wait.

I fall out smoothly, but then I begin to slowly recall: the realtorcha works in St. Petersburg, in the Petrograd district... stunned, expected to find the Great Prospect of the Petrograd side)

1 May is Easter.
Orthodox Communists
with crows and red flags
Go to places
The mass walk.
The world has resurrected!
Work is resurrected!
May have risen!
Indeed glory
The KPSS!

Andrew: I just realized that girls can pin each other.
Andrew: It turns out they have a whole set of activities for that.
Andrew: When a girl scratches her back or leaves a snail, she sends a ping to another girl through your command line.

Andrew, my advice to you: after you write your EGE, read about the ICMP protocol and don’t be ashamed of the rare remaining aitišniks here.

Uncle, give up programming and go better than cows.
YYY: Pas the cows and program. Programming is easier, it doesn’t run.

A good attempt...

You have never seen anything in your life unless you have watched a cat, half-covering its eyes from pleasure, slicing cream from your finger.

...but no, Philemon, the cream doctor forbade you. And the milk. Do not look at me that way.

In the interview:
Why did you leave your previous job?
I had to leave. I do not have enough flexibility.
In the sense? Do you react slowly when things change?
and no. I don’t get it when I lick my ass devoutly in the eyes.

I have not seen you yet.

By the way, I do not like such holders in front of me and try to go through the neighboring door. The hell knows when their hand shakes. I want to live.

A few times I barely managed to jump away from the flying door. Especially when in front of the rushing almost from the foot this door opened. She flies back very quickly. And if you are not selfish and help to hold the door in front of the person who goes with his pen, then his shaking hand does not threaten you with anything. It is not your palace door to open, join the process.

Aaa: I also don’t like compliments from little-known men. Reply to "OK. Did I hear you, then?and "

BBB: What about well-known men?

ccc: With this approach well-known men can not expect)

Technical support for one game.

I: After the next update in such a place, the screen begins to flash, it is impossible to pass the level.

PS: Send me a screenshot.

I am :? My screen is flashing, how can I take a screenshot?

TP: How to take a screenshot you can look in the instructions on your device.

Okay, I think you will have a screenshot. I captured the images, gathered the gif, sent it.

TP: Everything is flashing on your screenshot, it’s impossible to understand what the problem is.

I: That’s what’s the problem with everything.

TP: Send a screenshot that doesn’t flash.

I just took a screenshot and sent it.

TP: There is no problem in your screenshot.

He opened a new tick with a request to be dismantled by another employee.

Yes, this is still today... It goes in, such, business all: "Well, how are you doing?".
I’m dark for him: "As a rhythm to Iowa"...
He is such: "Cleevy?"
Rhythm of optimism, shit.

I worked a little in the social service.

In one "caregiving" family, the mother worked on a pig farm, her cohabitant - where it came. It should be noted - the light has long been turned off for non-payment, the gas in the house is bubble (but it is almost never there and everything is prepared on the fire in the yard), the water is a well in the yard.

And here, with the payment for the third child, the mother buys an iPhone. The last iPhone that came out at the time. And charging it on a pig farm, because at home, I will remind you, she had no light.

To my obvious question, “What fucking?” (I asked the question differently, but the essence is that) she replied that they all have the last iPhones at the pig farm, and only she, like a cock, walked with a button phone.

At this point, I realized the whole vanity of being and went to cry on my Nokia, simultaneously making an act of unpurpose spending “children’s” money.

by 20418:
Do not go to buyers with questions. The first example ("you still do not have it") could look, look and choose. You scared him.
2) Pricing categories three years ago, say... So the wages of people have not increased during this time. Many manufacturers and sellers understand this and set adequate prices. You probably do not. And if a person 3 years ago could not buy a phone for 7-8 thousand, he will not buy it now - more money was spent on food.

On the railway to the PTO (point of maintenance) for each group of nodes and units established separate journals, in which during unplanned operations. Service failures are recorded.

And here came a passenger car with a breakdown of a vacuum toilet. was troubled. By the way, blockages in vacuum cabinets happen rarely, and to everything about vacuum toilets, you need to register not only the malfunction, but also the cause of the malfunction.

The sliders took up the job and in the tube found... a phalloimiter and female leather trousers.
In order not to confuse the girls, who at the end of the month on the magazines count the work of the blind brigades, over the formulation of the record in the magazine thought thoroughly and creatively. They invented:
Vacuum toilet hole: extracted objects for leisure of an intimate nature (2 pieces)

I don’t have good and useful thoughts in the subway.
The latter is to give rights to passengers. In order not to cut the frog, did not drag in the left strip with the smartphone and took a technical inspection for the release of harmful substances into the atmosphere. And a fine if it is wrong.

I am a young man, 26 years old. I am not married, but I have a beloved girlfriend with whom I live in my apartment - my parents live separately, periodically only visiting us. We both work, we know the price of money.

And here literally a few weeks ago in poker, which is my hobby, I received a sum, according to my standards I do not deserve - 500 thousand rubles. My husband and I have long thought about the most reasonable way to spend it.

Only now do I understand the stories about how money changes people, or more precisely, the relationships between them. Our opinions about spending were divided, but in the end, thank you, we came to a mutually beneficial decision: I buy strings for guitar and ballets for her. And in a month, we will have a denomination in Belarus in general.