A glamorous whisper asks:

In your country, you are also invited to an expedition to Mars? We are called and called. There is no way to gather the right bunch of people.
Tell me, what is the pattern of this? Without irony, I ask.
For the participants of the expedition, this is a very strange way of suicide. They do not hide, and no one will return from there. Accordingly, even if you imagine the utopian option that they will fly there (long before this drawing in a small and uncomfortable closed space), what next? They will perform some tasks there and send the results to an email until they die. All, there are no options, and no, in general, interesting turns of events are not expected there."

Most people on Earth will "do some tasks and send the results to email until they die"."

- A little overlapping Ilfa and Petrov, I want to say. Men must be respected. It was they who invented the powder, the steam machine, the radio, the car, the plane and many more.
Do you think women have invented anything?
Women invented hysterics, headaches, critical days, the word “capricorn”, the phrases “how stupid I was” and “you don’t love me...”

by Ilya Vasilić:
I read about the Colossus of Rhodes (one of the wonders of the world).
The clever Rhodesians first ordered the statue twice lower, and then, when they agreed the price, asked to increase the height by half. Master Hares, without wise wisdom, doubled the price, although the costs increased precisely eight times (two in a cube: all three dimensions doubled). After the execution of the order, the master put his hands on himself, because he ruined".

by Valentine Shin:
Instructive is. Just had to increase the height and the width, and the width and thickness to keep the same. Work on the tech task to beat!

by Ilya Vasilić:
and the al-no!

When a sinker sinker of the 6th grade, measuring with a sink circuit, asks for a key of 21.5, it is worth thinking about his qualification.

Many years in a row carried a cat on vacation with them, bought all the coupe, driven three - two adults and a child. Three tickets were free (husband - military), and the "cat" was taken for the full cost... No one, no time tried to resettle anyone to us.
Only once the conductor tried to "press conscience": "People cannot leave the railway stations for a day, and you are bourgeois here with the cat!", "And what she said about the cat ticket, we demanded a cat shelf in response, and she, finding nothing to object to, departed...
(IMHO) So I think if the ticket is paid – the shelf is yours.
I need a cat now.)

Muftoffka: How old are you?
TaramBarzan: I have deleted the "Ironia of fate" 19 times.

We were in the car yesterday.
Mom, I want to go to the zoo.
I: Oh shit, he’s fucking where he is.
I myself am always confused.
I: You can’t, you can go and get lost, even I won’t find you.
It is also considered a disadvantaged area.
I: Well yes, there are only drug addicts and alkashi.
husband: and not only, it is not yet known what they can do
My daughter: I just wanted to go to the zoo.

Here is this:
In the face of the whole people I appeal: My ten-kilogram cat Vaska at night, as he sleeps next to me, always squeezes my legs in my mouth. Please tell me what to do?

And it wasn’t necessary to express my surprise at fishing with the words: “In my mouth my legs!”)))

ALEM: How is it? A beautiful dress decides.
drberd is true. He knocked his grandmother on a mine... no one wanted it. I asked "to kiss" - and voila! In the logic of them... only to cover up the meaning, because it is the same thing.)

He was at the dentist, after the seal was sent to X-rays.
Something went wrong and the aunt decided to restart the car with HR on board.
I leaned, pulled my hand under the table toward the system and gave a click.
The computer is not good to turn off the button.
She replied: I’m not with the button, I’m on the pilot!

Is it possible to live in the dormitory in the summer?
YYY: Of course...it’s not a Hogwarts.
xxx : t_t

One day I came to school with a portfolio full of unfinished homework.

In the summer...

Dressed only in shorts and a shirt.

I was saved from a nervous breakdown by the alarm clock to work, the winter outside the window and the realization that school was over 11 years ago.

xxx: bgg
yyyy :))
xxxx: put that shit in your ass.
YYYYYYYYY
XXX is better.
YYY: A harsh Chelyabinsk smile.

From Yandex News:
In St. Petersburg, 60% of tram cars require replacement – Poltavchenko
I read and think, how do these tram wagons need to replace Poltavchenko?))

How unnecessary you are at work the boss notices only in the vacation period (((

Unlawfulness is always protected by law.

Morning in a small town. The small parking near the court is almost entirely packed with expensive cars. In the gap between the jeeps merino and lexus is carried by a man on the scattered rust "Volga". Parking carefully but confidently. From the lexus in the window begins to whisper a long-haired chmo, uncertain sex, but understandable nationality: Wherever you lie, here you see what machines are standing! Cut it – I cut it!
The man quietly puts the car, goes out and says:
In fact, I am an oncologist and I don’t really know which car comes to me.
The important thing is to go with your own feet.
P.S. The doctor’s name is good. and real.

“Mommy, and if a worm is cut off, will his half be friends?
Not with you.

Q: Since I bought a car, I stopped wearing heels (the pedal is uncomfortable to push), started to dress badly and look badly (no one will see in the car anyway) and weighed 8 kg because I became less walking :( what to do?

Answer: Drinking beer before the TV under football / hockey, obviously

Someone's Qeen
I play in oblivion / there the task - in the guild of thieves - to steal the asshole of the Achimaga. Since yesterday evening, I have completed the passage of the Guild of Magi.
She stole herself... a little bit.

Chichaphat
It would be even more funny if you were given the task in the Guild of Killers to kill the Archimedes... In the Chronicles of Tamriel, the Archimedes committed suicide and received the title of leader of the Guild of Killers posthumously.)