bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98624
 30.05.2014
xxx: However, the series Ukraine and completely overshadowed Game of Thrones.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98623
 30.05.2014
From Tabu:

XXX is welcome! I sat drunk behind the compound. I found Yandexbar this morning.
YYY: Are you already on Yandex?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №98622
 30.05.2014
A woman in the gym walks on a runway for 40 minutes on a walk. Then he leaves in the car. Do I know something about this world?
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
This is "100 years" Stop the shit! Is there anything that can force you to walk on the road instead of on the street? Fear of wandering dogs, robbers, breaking their legs in holes that instead of asphalt, reluctance to breathe exhausts (if there is no park)... and thousands of reasons! Don’t count someone else’s money: if a person wants to pay for sports, it’s more convenient for him.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98621
 30.05.2014
xxx: here you dump the base, until tomorrow you have to figure out which %object_name% wrongly loaded
YYY: I won’t have time until tomorrow, I see this base for the first time. Explain what is stored there.
When you saw your grandmother naked for the first time, did you ask your neighbor to explain?
yyy: so there is an intuitive interface)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №98620
 30.05.2014
xxx: once once a pudding pudding
Yyy: Alexander Ivanovich, you are already registered!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98619
 30.05.2014
Vladimir
It will not be worse

Roman is
Worse can always be.
There is no limit to perfection.
The perfect shit.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98618
 30.05.2014
Our gym, the fox, the most brutal hall in the world... The girl administrator turned home-2 on all the screens, sounded in all the columns and left for an hour. We walked under house 2. The biggest cat was hysterical, he was trying to break the power wire, the stick was trying to pull out the plug... Even in the gym house 2 reached me...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №98617
 30.05.2014
I went to my wife’s village. The chair. They sent to the basement for a variety of salads, and a nephew (wife) called for help. We go down. The light on the stairs does not light up (the lamp is overburned). The small door into the basement to the touch stumbled - does not open. Since it is not visible, and the phone is left, I get a pen with a blue LED light from the load pocket (when pressing the backlight he is quietly feeding) and I open the sunset. PACAN: "Don’t just say it’s a sound screwdriver".

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98616
 30.05.2014
So I worked as a programmer. And to the question "Who are you working for?" I answered as is. As a result, all my acquaintances and friends call and drag me their system drives, notebooks and even phones for repair, asking for a choice of a travel device to update. All explanations about the difference between a database programmer and a computer slider are empty. In one "great" day, it all broke out for me. And to the question "Who are you working for?" I began to answer "Architect of Databases and Software Shells". The calls are silent. But yesterday a friend called and asked to help him design a variety in the country.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98615
 30.05.2014
Amethyst, do you think? All of this, yesterday one grandmother touched me with her finger and cried out to the whole courtyard: “HON ANANIST!!!” He does not believe in God!!and "

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98614
 30.05.2014
I am embarrassed by something in the MTS advertisement when my husband comes home and he has some man in the kitchen?? to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98613
 30.05.2014
I walk with a 10-year-old daughter, during a conversation I find out about a bad assessment and hit her...
Why are you silent?! The answer killed: Mom, wait, I haven’t invented the revenge yet.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98612
 30.05.2014
Questions to the Auditor:
Can an employee be fired if he returns from the hospital?
O_O

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98611
 30.05.2014
My pregnancy took place in the USSR. No such fantasies arose - the cabbage splashed into the banks, the straw crumbled, the smell of peelings liked it. Then oranges were available for 2 months a year, and we didn’t know about kiwi. I’m not saying it’s good, I’m not nostalgic. But do you not think that the desires of current pregnant women are due to the abundance of products and the 24-hour shops?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98610
 30.05.2014
Sanya is one of those people about whom one can say that this man is the shit of his own happiness.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98609
 30.05.2014
to this:

Post title "Unbelievably realistic rolled cats".

I was scared when I read the book.
____________________
"(from the ad): Bring your cat to us, we will photograph it in the showroom, and you will get a 25% discount."

I read "In Shaurma" for the first time.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №98608
 30.05.2014
You do not need to print striking pictures on packages of cigarettes..... It is enough to write; - "The proceeds will go to the salary of Deputies!!!!!!!!Half the world will quit smoking!!!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №98607
 30.05.2014
The news. The possible cause of the fall of the Proton is sabotage. The commentary. Not sabotage but diversion. Navalny replaced the holy water, with which the father drank Proton, with the water supply.

[ + 37 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98606
 30.05.2014
From the New Building Forum. Discussion of a new residential complex
XHHH: By the way, yes, this is the biggest minus of this object, view of the cemetery (
Why a minus? It calms, reminds me of eternity. When you die, take it away. You can not even spend on a catwalk, just bring it on a wheelchair. The dead do not make noise under the windows, they do not hooliganize in the entrances. Again, the cemetery = sweets and biscuits. It is beneficial in all respects.

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98605
 30.05.2014
of advertising. Electricity Saving Box. Savings up to 50%. You need to insert the device in the nearest socket to the counter. It costs 1799 rubles.

Principle of action: Electricity savings are achieved by improving and normalizing the structure of the electric flow, dynamic absorption or release of reactive power, reducing resistance losses, eliminating voltage jumps in the network.

The Pizzeria. Although,, the guys have a mission - to punish those who have badly taught physics?

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