bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98244
 21.05.2014
In the coffin.
I am looking for bla bla bla.
Why is "Higher"?
Type of type: Type of type. A stupid thing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98243
 21.05.2014
xxx: What methodology is used in the development of your company?
Tagged: add
X: Have you ever heard of something like that? How is decoded?
Asshole Driven Development is called

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98242
 21.05.2014

The Right Sector intends to complain in The Hague to the separatists for violating the Rules of War.

When the right-wingers lay in shelter with a squaled fire, the militias shouted in the megaphone: "Who does not drop, is Moscow."

Furthermore, 100% deaths either from the bullets of the militiamen, or from yours, if you refuse to jump.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98241
 21.05.2014
Examiner after an hour after the delivery of tickets:
"Come on the monkeys! Or do you want to live forever?and "

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98240
 21.05.2014
What about porn? Young, healthy people are doing something exciting and useful!

This is one of the most important things in the world.

If it were. Basically show a mandatory circus program for swallowing swords with the transition to rectomanoscopy for beginners. The actors resemble the marathoners, who, overcoming, must withstand the pace and do not fall asleep at the finish.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98239
 21.05.2014
A 120-pound accountant fell on a crocodile in Murmansk.
I never thought I would be sorry for a crocodile.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98238
 21.05.2014
My grandmother is a fierce fan of programs on radio and television about astrology and other similar heresy and when I am in her guests,it is forced to listen to this nonsense and here one day I came, therefore, to her and I hear how on the radio explain how to choose the right house in Israel (we live,in fact, in Israel)And here I hear something like this : the main thing is that there would be a room like a bomb shelter in the apartment (fairly,it is necessary,in Israel the situation is not always quiet) that the windows would go out not to the south (so right, in the summer on the south side as hot as it is)...I think, well, did my grandmother become normal broadcasts to listen?...In the meantime, on the radio continue to broadcast - but the most important thing would be about the outdoors

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №98237
 21.05.2014
The acquaintance tells.
He brought, he said, a netbook home, and he found a wireless network, himself connected to it, downloaded updates and after reboot issued that he said I can't connect to the network.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98236
 21.05.2014
XXX: Now they called and shouted: Who am I and why did I argue with them?
X is wrong number.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98235
 21.05.2014
Jeskay: Pedophilia will be called such material on the site under investigation, which was able to subjugate the regular pedophile of Roskomnadzor. The manual work

[ + 42 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98234
 21.05.2014
- And there are specialists in this business, always interested in using gold in these cables?
As far as I understand the digital signal is transmitted in zeros and units, and it can not be transmitted badly, or yes or no, respectively and the difference in the image should not be whether it is a cheap or expensive cable.

Do you know where the audio is now? What units and units. Through the digital cables goes a warm lamp flow of data.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №98233
 21.05.2014
XXX: What does not work
Maybe from the heat.
Or bitten by a frog.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98232
 21.05.2014
A woman who knows her price, no one will ever give her so much.

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98231
 21.05.2014
In the words of my wife today:
I am on the market in line for products. They trade chickens and their components, such as: legs, wings, hips, etc. In front of me a man asks to put wings in a plastic bag. The seller imposes a full package on him, the man asks to add a package to get a double, say, the single will break.
Seller: It won’t break, they’re strong!
The man raises the bag, he breaks, the wings spread over the asphalt.
The man refuses to pay. According to him, the package broke because of the greed and laziness of the seller. She has a diametrically opposite opinion. The whole row falls into the dispute, breaks up into two camps, and the case approaches the clash, when the main actor appears in the form of a wandering market dog.
They may have seen such things: neither a scream, nor a whistle, nor a blast with empty hand in their direction has any effect on them. And here this dog breaks through to continuously rolling wings with the obvious intention of catching as much as possible and escaping as quickly as possible, BUT! at the last moment sharply brakes, smells, wrinkles the scratchy mouth and, without catching anything, contemptuously thinks to the side.
The man, interested in such an unusual behavior of the animal, raises and smells the wing, then offers to smell it to everyone who wishes. What the smell was, you probably guess. After a unanimous verdict, the seller leaves the tent and silently collects the wings from the asphalt and silently returns the money to the two ladies who have been charged before and have watched the events with interest.
A dog is really a friend of man!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №98230
 21.05.2014
A tolerant world has given a transvestite to win the Eurovision contest, now let them let our Russians win the World Cup in football.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98229
 21.05.2014
HH: I will not come.
WOW : Why?
My grandmother’s roof has fallen.
Q: Did you call an ambulance? Psychic or where else.
Ohhhhhh...?? to
by O_O
The roof of my grandmother's house was shattered by the wind, I'll go to bed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98228
 21.05.2014
Previously, the ladies fought for the cavalry, and now for the rosette.
--------
Pfff, I had more pics in the universe. Lecturing audience, I’m almost going to sleep on the gallery, four boys are sitting behind. I hear badly:
Do you bring? Let’s get it, Lamarck.
Sleep retreats a little, interest makes you turn back. My thoughts revolved from maps to a half-liter, but I did not expect to see the next scene:
With the words "Temptation, boys" a guy from the edge gets....!coat! The extender. Then I realized how boring I was.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98227
 21.05.2014
>>:When the younger is 18, we will divorce and I will fall on the fox. How did you get your shit...
Well, you are a pig.First of all, so to speak about a wife, she has no merits, but stupid conversations all the time?Or do you no longer see them and the only thing that holds these children?You, of course, white and furry, no shortcomings of you she never tolerates, don't forget you are the only god.And she is generally aware that you don't like this or you brave silence until eighteen years old, let it be a surprise, yes.Why problems solve, courageously and tolerate until the eighteen years younger and we cast out all joke at once, let it be glad.And generally find out if she doesn't want to tolerate until eighteen, for there will be a chance and time to find a man who will love her, not under the age of old.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №98226
 21.05.2014
The news:
The Ministry of Defense of the Russian Federation does not understand how far to drive troops from the borders of Ukraine.

Let’s go to America, further from the border with Ukraine. Let the chickens calm down.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98225
 21.05.2014
There is no future for those whose dreams are measured in money. Regardless of the price.
And my future cost $90 for an ampoule. I have imperfect osteogenesis. Wages were paid for products/products, so there was no money. With difficulty my parents borrowed money from relatives and took me to Moscow for examination. It turned out that the medicine able to strengthen my bones is worth the above amount. Then my mother died, my father left and I stayed with my grandfather. At the age of 12, the doctor warned us that during the period of intense growth, my spine will not withstand body weight and will just crumble and you need to start cutting this medicine (such as it is prescribed to patients with cancer). But there was no money. Grandfather was old for work, and pensions for disabled people were very sad at the time.
I am now 32. At the age of 15, I was really upset, suffered 5 fractures in a row during this same period of growth and my self-esteem due to appearance fell to zero. And on the face like beautiful, raised, I work, but I am not a gorbun of very high growth. You can’t imagine, but even my attempts to find a girl with physiological problems somehow failed because of my appearance and physical abilities.
People are not made happy by money, but by opportunities provided by money.
by ps. There must be a joke. The opera has corrected the phrase "MultiVibrator" to "MultiVibrator". It may be because it really gives some housewives some pleasure.

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