bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №64572
 23.05.2012
Yuri, please answer it seriously. During sex, the guy doesn’t end up because he thinks of the ex, although I’m doing everything great! Should I go over this?

No, everything is okay. I have that too. I’m not thinking about the former, I’m thinking about the upcoming elections to the Supreme Council. About the fact that now 50 percent of the narcissists will be held on party lists, and 50 percent on majority districts. As you know, everybody previously went on party lists. It was more or less. Now, with this innovation, our authorities will have the opportunity to make anybody a member. And the Supreme Council will become an even bigger mess than it was before. When I think about it, I can’t finish.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №64571
 23.05.2012
Can you call a guy gay if he fuck another guy in the ass, but does it for money?
He is a businessman.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №64570
 23.05.2012
"Do you know what was the most popular question about Buran's grandmothers yesterday? Do they fit together "

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64569
 23.05.2012
I went here in the SPB, in Lomonosovskaya.
I took a beer, went to Sartre, km, by the big.
I didn't figure out where the lights in the cabinets are turned on, the phone I think will turn on.
And after the transfer, I didn’t have time to deliver the program "phonic", and my EN97 only enables it in video recording mode))
connected, conveniently installed the phone, arranged-light, well)
Should I say I forgot to delete the recording?
And my sweetheart grabbed in the phone today (explained long)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64568
 23.05.2012
A girl of the artist.

This is %username%!
I, Blair, no longer know how to attract your attention. It is so important to me. Per this post will see someone of our common acquaintances and will give you a shit. Because all the ways I know to convey to you information I have already exhausted.
I wrote to you about coming and taking my sheltered with us in the summer pepper from autumn and - about joy! In December, you reacted and promised. It is April and in the social networks you are actively using you do not respond. The phone, put on the parking lot, you did not leave. It was only from the description that I was able to recognize you and begin to fool on the only contacts I knew. Come and pick up your Lifan as soon as possible and don’t forget your wallet. Or we will scratch it and make me a dirty toilet table. Thank you for your attention and love your mother as you can.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64567
 23.05.2012
I bought the door yesterday.
What about noise insulation?
Counselor: Well, if someone is screaming in the entrance, it will not save you anyway.
There is noise in our entrance.
Advice: Then buy a gun.

[ + 28 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64566
 23.05.2012
The most pleasant sound of the night is the sound of a printer printing your diploma.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64565
 23.05.2012
Dear, I will not go to your parents today, I have to bring my electric pile home.
So I’ll sit at home and wait for the pile.

And then we will sit down and wait for you O_o

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №64564
 23.05.2012
A few days ago, I first connected an inet. I call today:
Where can I get the yellow man?
What kind of man?
The yellow man is popular on the internet.
Or Homer Simpson?
No is!! He still laughs.
The Buddha?
It does not eat!! Damn, well yellow such a man, usually laughs at the end of the text.
What is Peterson?
If you don’t understand, tell it immediately. He hangs the phone.
...
As I found out later, she was looking for a smiley.

[ + 29 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64563
 23.05.2012
The highway is not a racing track, but a road at the cemetery, where the last one wins.

[ + 91 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64562
 23.05.2012
When I was a kid, I used to say cal-cal. And my mom understood that “cal-cal” is “read”. All mothers and children have their own bird tongue.
And now my mom tells me “skab” – and I understand that is skype.
Marusina’s mom says “secondheads,” and Marusya understands that it’s skinheads.
After all, Lehi’s mother left, who says “a circle of creases,” and Lecha understands that it’s a French press.

At first, you don’t know all the human words, but your mother understands you. And then Mom doesn’t know, but you still know what she’s talking about.

My mother and I lived in different cities and now live together. With her appearance, a lot has changed, but the most important thing: I used to have an apartment, and now there is a house. The same room sounds different when there is a mother.

My mom and I exchanged bags. I’m at home, my mom comes from work. I run past her and immediately into the bag. Because mom’s bag when she’s off work is the most interesting place in the world. Especially when Mom in the winter with the frost, she smells of sweat, mask and cheeks ice. There must be something interesting in the bag. Candy or soap bubbles. And you are very pleased with it, ten minutes very pleased! And then it doesn’t matter, but tomorrow mom will come back from work again with her bag.

Now it is the opposite. I come, and she asks, “What did you bring me?” and I open the bag, and there are some gift plugs. Mom immediately runs to the kitchen, and while I am out, she is already passing past the room, in one hand a cup of tea, in the other bank of strawberries, and in the mouth of the bride, because the hands are busy. And she tells me something right through the bucket, looking very business. Probably, she says that she was putting the pins today (we agreed that my mom would never put the pins because she didn’t have to touch the pins, but she was still putting them) and now I don’t have pins anymore. Once I was exactly as upset that I got a trio: very quickly, unclearly, through the bull. Because as she said honestly, it seemed to have passed. My mom once told me, “You haven’t said it yet, but I already know what you’ve thought.” And I have the feeling that I am now too.

[ + 57 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64561
 23.05.2012
You come home, you make a coffee, you sit in a chair and there is silence around... And each of us chooses what it is: Loneliness or Freedom!

[ + 8 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64560
 23.05.2012
YY: Did you escape yesterday?? to
He called and told me to run to him and take an apple with me.
The apple must be
XH: Running in 7 minutes
He fucked me, ate an apple and grabbed me.
Tagged: Dybala

[ + 41 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64559
 23.05.2012
@protivorechie I thought this: if you kill a murderer, the number of murderers will not change

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №64558
 23.05.2012
Triumphantly demonstrated almost all over the world, the film "Dictor" is not planned to be shown in Minsk. A surprise surprise. Who could we think.

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64557
 23.05.2012
My husband called and asked me to find an old motorcycle in his desk, where I never look. The first thing that came to my eyes was erectile. The second is the vibrator. His Nafig is. Let him find himself.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64556
 23.05.2012
Handur
19:21 Yes, we called it a biorobot. He is strange.
19:22 He fixed the coat with a sharp twist of his head.
19:22 She shook at him. He is so drunk! His head and coat were just in place.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №64555
 23.05.2012
We are in Dacia. The 8-year-old son comes in and says, “The uncle came and said the car was repaired.”
What type of car and what type of car is not clear.
After a brief investigation, it turned out that a neighbor came, from whom we asked for a cart for work, and said, "The cart is ready."

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64554
 23.05.2012
These lines are very similar to the thoughts of the AutoVaz.)... "... From the equipment they had mostly only some black tails, which replaced them with all the tools. With these hats, they could do anything. And they did! All they had was something bad, curvy and ugly.”

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №64553
 23.05.2012
Hi to you! Fun from life. Today I sleep in the morning, I have a dream: I am like standing at a stop in Tomsk, and there is no bus. I am late! Well, I think you have to go on foot, the electricity is far away, but where to go... And here the alarm clock rings! The first thought after waking up: It's good that the alarm ringed, and so would be walking up. ?))))))

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