bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141270
 13.05.2017
xxx: the bug was not reproduced, because when I write the code, I use the right control shift to highlight the text, and when I test - the left. I never even thought about it.
yyy: I remember a 80-year-old bug in sendmail, when the mail did not go further than 500km
xxx: and I had the most beautiful bag in the era of the first pentiums. Pretty to. The ISA modem refused to transmit data when the mouse is not moving. And the interruptions changed, and the ports changed, and the mouse on the "multyahu" (remember this word?) Exaggerated – it makes no sense. As a result, he came up with a workaround: knocking mp3s at night, tied the mouse by the tail to the gram player and put it on a rotating disk.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141269
 13.05.2017
I go to work today. Attention was attracted by a sign on the tree. The wind, the plaque turns to read, had to slow down. Text of the following content: "Beware, the tree is falling!". And it really leaned - the earth has a huge crack... And I am standing here underneath it, reading the warning inscriptions.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №141268
 13.05.2017
When I was a child, I loved to bake sausages with the Yugoslav spice Vegeta and thought I was a vegetarian.

[ + 32 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141267
 13.05.2017
That explains a lot.

I am a vegetarian from 23 years old. I was told a lot. And if the meat is not eaten, the hair will not grow (the hair below the ass). And that the child will be sick (the child is healthier than most acquaintances, the second pregnancy is also going well)

I was there with a pregnant doctor. Very pleased with normal protein tests. They say, “O God, you eat meat!” and they almost cry out of joy. Now I understand why.
Here’s a question for you: did you decide not to eat meat at 5 years old? Or did your parents also tear the doctors nerve of their way of life?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141266
 13.05.2017
Lynx64Ksu, [12.05.17 09:31]
Going to the mail this morning was a stupid decision! Here is hell! And the grandmother!

Lynx64Ksu, [12.05.17 09:43]
No, all the norms. Grandma in another window. My only doesn’t work.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №141265
 13.05.2017
gishpanets> So I forgot my wife on the track.
Stopped "to the bushes", I did the first work. The wife approaches (she always drives from behind), knocks on the back door, well, I went.
I stumbled in minutes after 10, when my request "Zay, give me a drink" was ignored due to the absence of a...
Oh guys... what I heard about myself when I came back for her...I’d better not come back)))))

And the door stumbled because she decided to put the bag back and sit in front of her.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141264
 13.05.2017
Review "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Destiny":
- Objects that when approaching start to shine, and when close contact warms up so that the bag burns, clearly exchange neutrons and must stay away from them.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141263
 13.05.2017
With Hicks:

Le Pen is an ordinary fascist without any compromises.
Le Pen is a woman.
zzz: Apparently, the respectable xxx hasn’t been watching politics since Le Pen was a man.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №141262
 12.05.2017
The crisis will end when the dollar will cost: 30 rubles. Three rubles? from 0.56 rubles?
YYY: When the dollar will be given 15 years!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141261
 12.05.2017
Aaa: Listen, how in English will the scream of the eagle be?
Tags: uhodi narkoman
AAA: Who are you lying to me on the road?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141260
 12.05.2017
Moreover, the Piz river flows into the Bui River near the mouth.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №141259
 12.05.2017
Talk about war:

Grandfather died in 1992 (47 years after the end of the war!and stroke. When he was already lying down and didn’t recognize anyone, he fought almost every night, and he didn’t tell us, his grandchildren, about it, because the terrible thing was simple. So I learned that in captivity they ate everything, including rats, that he could calmly hold his waist with his hands. I remember repeating often:
Women should be removed from their surroundings first.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141258
 12.05.2017
Going to concerts abroad is a disgrace. Can’t watch the broadcast?
...
Dumbness, comrades, is telling others what to do. :D

What does it matter what the purpose of the trip is? Someone is watching tulips in the Netherlands, someone is at an opera in Italy, someone is at a concert.

You don’t want Turkey on your broadcast, right? A chao, poured sand in the pelvis, legs there, lay on the couch, turned on the beach on a telephone of inette with the noise of a blow. A beer in the hand. And the wife let the German portray, and the towel occupies the couch all the time.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141257
 12.05.2017
by Yapa

Quote (mrPitkin @ 11.05.2017 - 00:58)
Just pronounce the name of the subscriber - and you are already talking to him, and you can also see his photo in front of your eyes.

Hit the hammer on the finger, and now you are calling the Light from the neighboring entrance...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141256
 12.05.2017
of Russia. 21st century.
The judge reads the verdict:
– To acknowledge the defendant guilty of insulting the feelings of believers... The defendant, your last word.
And yet she turns!

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141255
 12.05.2017
# vegetarianism

Pure vegetarianism is, in the vast majority of cases, simple hypocrisy inherent in people with insufficient physical load. In the excursions of somewhat increased difficulty, vegetarians very friendly on the second-fourth day return to the normal state of all-eating and absorb the meat / salty so that behind the ears cracks. Because they cannot withstand the burden. Because such a stock of vegetarian food they can not pull on themselves.
This same group can include vegetarianism for religious reasons (by the way, which of the widespread religions unambiguously prohibits the consumption of meat at all?) is
Accept the simple fact: man is all-eating. Not a predator, not a herbivore. All the same.
And the apparent rejection of this essence is hypocrisy.
In smaller quantities, vegetarianism is a medically justified necessity.
The third group is for economic reasons.

And that killing bad and bla bla bla is also hypocrisy. I would prefer criminals who committed serious crimes intentionally to be executed, and taxpayer funds that are now spent on the maintenance of prisons and their inhabitants to be spent on R&D.
To invent the same food bio-generator, in order to save the meat from death, suffering and excessive forced breeding.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141254
 12.05.2017
Dialogue with a friend (P) from Moscow.
Q: I’m about to quit smoking. Really expensive "pleasure": for cigarette money you can fly to Riga once every 2 months. Or Vilnius, or Tallinn, or Warsaw...
I: I hardly smoke.
Q: Why are you not in Riga yet?
I: To get out of Tomsk, you will have to stop drinking.
I: And there is.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141253
 12.05.2017
How did you do it...Lee

There is no need for economics in schools. It did not exist in the USSR, and it does not exist now. The ordinary person should only know that everywhere they are trying to cheat him and you need to be careful and, say, not to take loans.

And physics is not necessary, and you do not need to, it is enough to know only that all deaths want him and you need to be careful and, say, do not use fire, not a knife, not electricity, and do not have sex (or you will get infected!) is

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141252
 12.05.2017
The eruption of the Shiveluc volcano and its impact on the climate are discussed

- And in Rostov warm and on scooters / big rides...
- And in Moscow for such words you will get skies on the mouth and skates on the mouth!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №141251
 12.05.2017
The Parental Forum.

At the end of the year, I have trouble with my head.
I have a daughter, Masha, in 2nd grade.
The youngest in the kindergarten is Natasha. At the meeting, the educator tells about Natasha and addresses me "Natasha’s mom". I sit, not listening or reacting at all. I think everybody has gotten out of me? I forgot that I came to the kindergarten, was distracted by my thoughts and decided that I was sitting in school.
Who is this, Natasha’s mother? I used to being a Mother’s Car.
It ended with the fact that I asked the educator "And who is this – Natasha’s mother, do we have no Natasha?"
My parents thought I had a roof.

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