bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №64452
 20.05.2012
xxx: on the bed, under the blanket, some neoplasm in the shape of a cat. What do you think it is?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64451
 20.05.2012
I'm trying to download Marx's Capital, I'm offered to leave a wish to the author, so that he would be pleasant to read them and, inspired, he will write something new.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №64450
 20.05.2012
Question: How does Edward Hera stand if his blood doesn’t circulate?
Answer: He is passive

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №64449
 20.05.2012
XHH: Fuck, came the second day to work, gave the boss the reports, and he said that since I have not licked his ass yet, thank you! I am in shock, I don’t understand how I got his ass out, thank you for that. I sat down all day while I was working, thinking it wasn’t that way.
When I came in the morning, I cleaned the aquarium carefully (I thought it was in order of things), but that’s not the end. Whether I want to stay or not, I am afraid.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №64448
 20.05.2012
What happened to you with Lenka?
He has sent. The Lenny Scenery
I know her from 6th grade, I know her from 6th grade.
WOW: Okay, for the month we lived at the shooting, I found out, that: 1) Let’s do it together, means go and do it 2) It’s a male job, it’ll mean any work in general, including laundry, grinding, garbage and cooking. 3) "you get better" means that she does it in such a piece that ppc 4) "thank you dear, you have the sun" means that you do it from now on and forever. And when I brought her the statistics of the last week about the spent grandmother and the housework, I turned out to be a dumb fool, and a slander, you watch and burn every penny behind me, but what are you at all a man?"So who is she?
The Lenny Sketch...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №64447
 20.05.2012
My house is private, the entrance to the courtyard through a iron barrel weighing 40 kilograms. From the wreath to the night, the calice was always supported by a break. A week ago, around midnight, there was some thunderstorm, running out into the courtyard, I saw a cane rolling on the asphalt and a man running away. After putting it in place and analyzing the work of the break, I determined that when strongly exposed from the reverse side, the break works like a lever and the boiler rising up flies from the cock. But since other means of protection we purchased did not have time, the break continued to function. Yesterday, at about the same time, I heard the sound of a strike on the asphalt again and immediately jumped out, stopping this bombe in a meter from the fence, before the start of the run he had time to pronounce the phrase with astonishment and hatred:
"But it has fallen again!"

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64446
 20.05.2012
In yoga, we were told that Samashiti is a position that, after an asana, returns the body to the state of "zero". Now I understand why there are so many programmers in India. They even have a return zero in yoga.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №64445
 20.05.2012
Why didn’t the light fade today? We still have half a box.
Go on to eat.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
WOW, go on to eat! I am no longer in your shelter!
What, Svetlana Mikhailovna has stuck? Or worse, did you wake up with her?
WOW is no. He barely stumbled at night. I got up at 4 a.m. and went out to the hallway. I’m going to meet, a ghost!
xxx - o_o
Vauu - This is some kind of fool in the common corridor on ropes hanged dry white coat. At your doorstep, it is a loud star.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WOW, go on to eat!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №64444
 20.05.2012
My head hurts wildly.
Something serious?
No, I just often have a headache...I just seem to have overturned my resume of the perfect wife.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64443
 20.05.2012
I’m almost 20 years old, I’m a bearded man and I’m watching cartoons about pony!
The milk from the beard, the man, has not dried up yet.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №64442
 20.05.2012
I work in a taxi.

A man approaches and asks:
How much does it cost to get home? ! to? to
What I had to answer :-)

[ + 40 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64441
 20.05.2012
Rules of the Festival:
No firearms, gas, pneumatic, cold weapons and anything that can be equated with them can be brought into the festival. Can a tactical lamp be equated? It is 24 cm long.

YYY: if you buy a long glacier and properly fold it - you will get a great sharpening

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64440
 20.05.2012
The scars make men. I have a cat and I am beautiful.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64439
 20.05.2012
xxx: "summers" these.. "dark shadows" evaporated by the vampire theme however >.<
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Let’s take the seals for example.
What is not a topic
XHH: So it was – he begs her to turn him into a mermaid and she is so "no! I love you and I will not allow my terrible existence to lead, and then he secretly becomes a mermaid but it is eaten by a whale - and the hall cries, the guys cry with scary men's tears and dream of an alien mermaid's love. here
YYY: O_o
Have you smoked again?

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64438
 20.05.2012
Happens also this:
A friend turned off the hot water, and she asked me to wash.I naturally agreed, because the matter smells intimate.I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms, and who would you think stood behind me in line at the moment when I asked for a package of durable fruit condoms.
She refused to go to me.)

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №64437
 20.05.2012
I failed with the fever today.
How did you get wise?
The question was:"In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
WOW : and?
xxx: Obviously, the answer "unbelievably big" was wrong.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64436
 20.05.2012
nature: lovers of plastic surgery remember, I will play with your children.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64435
 20.05.2012
Tomorrow’s trip to Moscow ends with:
I was waiting for tickets all day, at 9 I was called and said running-berry-appeared! I use, I design...
Itak, tomorrow the 13th train departs at 13:46 and the 13th wagon! Will you take insurance?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64434
 20.05.2012
1st So why do you call your dog a sausage?
2nd I say by analogy. Her name is Prima. There is such a sausage - Prim. So I tell her, you are a sausage. clearly?
1st I see no logic.
2nd What is your dog’s name?
1st Paphnoty Sergeevich.
2nd You are right, there is no logic.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №64433
 20.05.2012
Despite the fact that the doctors treated him, gave him blood and gave him medicines, he all recovered.
=) is

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna