bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №64952
 30.05.2012
angry
My dad is just burning.
angry
We go on the street with him. A man is flying straight. He goes to Dad:
The smoke! I have a son born!
Congratulations to you, Andrew. The main thing is not to worry. You have everything ahead. You can still make a normal child, shows me, a daughter.
Would you see the face of a man... my father is a fat troll

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №64951
 30.05.2012
KaBBe: Great Russian mothers... could not go to the mail through the browser, did not understand what is the login and password and where to enter it, but was able to configure Microsoft Outlook to use it to view your email%)

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64950
 30.05.2012
In order to enhance the cultural heritage of our family, we agreed with our wife that whoever will become a mother will draw a star. At the end of the week, the stars are counted and certain penalties are applied to the winner.
The eighth star sounded like this: "Fuck! I have 7 stars!!" :D

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №64949
 30.05.2012
Yuraskas
I want a shit that is fashionable.
McBaren
The iPad? ?
Yuraskas
Definitely! ?
McBaren
Suitable for all parameters)
1 – Theft
The fucking fashion

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №64948
 30.05.2012
Director of the Information and Computer Technology Center:
I, XXX, 30.05.2012 approximately from 12.20 to 12.50 at my workplace, conducted the diagnosis of the PC, or more precisely its individual parts, using the application Heroes of Might and Magic III. The application was selected because of the fact that on this PC lies another application "Warcraft III: the Frozen Throne". The app worked great, but since it was released in 1999 and the minimum system requirements do not exceed 128 MB of memory, 8 MB of video RAM and any OS starting with Windows 95, the app’s excellent performance is not an indicator. I acknowledge that I chose to diagnose the wrong software tool that is associated with my job duties.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №64947
 30.05.2012
I went to the school today, I went to the school. A guy and a girl sit in the shop, listening to the dialogue:
Wanna, what are you doing here? You were excluded, right?
That’s not a reason to crack down!!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №64946
 30.05.2012
Here, the warehouser distinguished himself - he did not go to work, then he was forced to write an explanatory. He wrote - did not go out because he was doing shopping!!!! ))))))))) Shop and swim! ))))))))))) I say, the tooth I give, that all his shopping was that he came to the store around the corner and bought vodka and sausages... ))) but how beautiful he wrote ))))))))

by Gissen

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №64945
 30.05.2012
I buy a box of cookies in the store. Cookies in the form of rings in chocolate glazure. The cashier, a young girl, after several unsuccessful attempts to count the bar code from the package, turns toward another box and says loudly:

Say the rings!

in response from a turn three young guys with a choir and happy births:

The rings!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №64944
 30.05.2012
Dimboy: I have the impression that at the first launch of the iPhone, he asks to take a picture in the mirror, and send a photo to the social network. The network.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64943
 30.05.2012
I read news:
"Virtual Assistant "Siri" From the company "Apple" will be integrated into new BMW models"

One of the first comments:

Siri, who are these people?
“These are your fired employees, Jack. I have closed five factories on your behalf, so we will save a lot of energy for children’s homes and shelters. I also stifled the engine so as not to blur the atmosphere with exhaust gases!
and A-A-A! What to do, Siri?
- Vaseline in the mess, Jack, I took care - I'm not a senseless car.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64942
 30.05.2012
You fuck up with your courses, diplomas, eges and exams!!! to
Learn to fucking.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №64941
 30.05.2012
Attica: Okay, it’s while you’re at work – you’ll come home, tiredness like your hand will remove)
I'm tired of shooting my hand today.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №64940
 30.05.2012
xxx: Schoolchildren on the Internet in recent years much less than "adult uncle". As strange as it is, but among schoolchildren it is now fashionable to play football, to go to the gym, in the evening at the gymnasts to gather for warm-up.

Please forgive me, in which city do you live? Do you have universal soldiers there? In any case, he looked out the window. Give up. There is a real touring group of students. They sit and drink beer with chips. They develop so to say.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №64939
 30.05.2012
“You tell me, in the Netherlands there’s a lot of marijuana and pirates, right? Are these things interrelated or just coincidence?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №64938
 30.05.2012
I’m used to holding on to old things.
I am a Conservative
Tagged: facepalm

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №64937
 30.05.2012
This letter came from a blonde girl.

Wild noise of the fan in the system unit at the frame inspector. Please remove
The Supplement:
Processor fan on the mother mother in the system unit system unit the same box on the floor (large) small box this IBP please do not confuse

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №64936
 30.05.2012
Contact with the client at the bank:
Unfortunately, the operation is impossible, there is no connection.
She looks seriously at me and says, “Hey, fuck, there’s a need for connections everywhere, I knew nothing would work out.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64935
 30.05.2012
Olya is fucking. This is pork, not beef.
Olya: Well for what?? to
by Nicholas?
I have nothing to feed my cat. He cannot eat pork.
Nicholas is not?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64934
 30.05.2012
XXX: And there is another thing like this, thermorectal cryptoanalysis.
YYY: Well, he – he can’t be fooled, right?
XXX: Maybe it is possible. But I would not be.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64933
 30.05.2012
The story of how the newborn wanted to bring to the commission delighted our entire pediatric team. Comrades, with the child come to the examination, to the dispensary. The commission is in Sparta. There were some other babies commissioned there, if you remember))

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