bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №98604
 30.05.2014
Ukrainians who left Crimea because of the establishment of Russian control over the peninsula were offered to settle in the building of a psychiatric hospital near Kiev.

And really.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98603
 30.05.2014
Intelligence is when, after hearing a snort during his lecture, the professor begins to speak quieter.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №98602
 30.05.2014
Well, once such a “spiritual” topic went on...
April of 45. and Germany. My grandfather is 46 years old. Civil has passed.
On the front from the autumn of 41. Commander of a separate squadron.
The squadron woke up for the night in some hutor. There are no owners. They escaped.
The soldiers found a locked door in the basement. And there are salts, cork-collars. And a 20-litre bottle with a sharp smell of liquid.
My grandfather smelled something wrong. “He” does not smell like that. Drinking is prohibited.
arranged for bed.
At night, someone did not endure, stood up quietly, attached to the bottle. The clock, it turns out, also blasted in the bottle before leaving. “For the heat.”

Eight bodies in the morning. There was methyl alcohol in the bottle.
Grandpa in court. 8 years of camp. A year for each.

Standing at the headquarters. Without a belt, but with a convoy. Waiting for the car in the rear and further by stage.
Comedy arrives at Willis. Grandfather under his beginning from the 41, when he was still a combat.
I found out.
What are you here?
Yes, this is the case.
Noah, I guess...
I talked to the bosses. They change the grandfather 8 years of camps for 3 months of penalty.
They go to the penitents. And there was the palba and the drunkard - came Kalinin's decree on dissolving the penalty.
“Thank you all, everyone is free.”
Bring the grandfather back to his part. What to do next is unclear, they decide.
Here is victory. Not before him at all.
And he was still wet and frozen, while in the body half-turns to the penalty riders. Inflammation of the lungs.
They were sent to the hospital, from there back home, to the village near Tula.

My grandfather lived 87 years. He died in 1986 (I was serving in the Army at that time).
He was not an official veteran and did not receive any benefits.
Neither medal for victory over Germany, nor anniversary, nor the Order of the Patriotic War in 1985.

All these years, the grandfather was afraid that he would be remembered and forced to serve his sentence.
It didn’t light up in the offices.

There is a medal in front of me. Green tape with a red strip. Known to the smallest details the faces of the fighters in the army. tanks and aircraft.
Over the past 40 years, I have looked at this image many times.
Medal for the Defense of Stalingrad.
That’s all my grandfather had from the war, and I have from him.
My grandfather gave it to me when I was 7 years old.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №98601
 30.05.2014
Are you already in the garden?
No, Daddy, as long as they’re just in the corner!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98600
 30.05.2014
xxx: Fuck, borrowed in the clinic, marasm, the certificate is impossible to take the child!
Yyy: Dasha, you live like the first day. So is it everywhere. For example, in our clinic, X-rays only work on Wednesdays, only two hours a day. In order to take the score, you need to register with the therapist on Friday before lunch - because only on Friday the therapist has the score for x-rays. A certain amount and only for the next Wednesday. That is, after riding an hour and a half before the clinic and sitting in line to the therapist, I can not get an X-ray score. It is :)

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98599
 30.05.2014
HH: I want to rest. Just to rest. No phones and internet. The DPRK does not offer

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №98598
 30.05.2014
(To the post on the wealthy life in the community)

Impossible

Russia lives like that. A normal family. Ordinary average community.
I was interested in reading you. The important thing is that you live as you like it!! to

Vadefugl

Pol of Russia? Are you serious?

Impossible

No, I am not serious. In fact, everybody flies to Paris for a weekend and wears a glamorous Chanel.
Salesmen, cleaners, and waiters are robots.

v_sentyabre

There is no life. Everyone knows that.

Isilya

a "village", "communal", "working district" and other words are just insults, there is no such thing in life. And the minimum wage in the law is prescribed, to laugh, everyone actually lives on 200,000 a month.

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98597
 30.05.2014
How did they know whose ammunition?
“The gun jumped through the yard before hitting the building to prove that it wasn’t a Moscal.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98596
 30.05.2014
I was in the mail yesterday. Well, yes, the hour went by, yes, my package was splashed, well, the grandmothers in line all this time broke my brain. This is all in the Post of Russia usual, even already expected. So they colded me, the fucks, for this hour with a full-powered industrial air conditioner. The real center of evil!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №98595
 30.05.2014
On the weekend, I went to apply to the ZAGS. They found the entrance. The people for some reason do not, although Saturday, everyone is written. We try to find someone. At the end of the corridor is a couple. The boy smiles boldly and the girl is proud, looking with her nose into the ceiling.
Ask how to file the application.
The girl revived and began to tell you that you need to first pay the state duty in the machine at the entrance of 400 rubles from each, and only then follow them in a row to get. The girl replied that we entered the wrong place to apply for the painting and explained how to go.
They seemed to be on divorce. When we headed to our goal, the boy raised his head for the first time in all the conversation and loudly said to my (already) groom: "Happy!"
I have never thought so much about the correctness of the decision.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98594
 30.05.2014
Many people who call television a zombie fighter forget that for some time it has been a zombie.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98593
 30.05.2014
xxx> "Does Sisadmin, after sexual intercourse, wait for a safe removal of the device?"
yyy> with the thought "where is the safe extraction of the device?", where to press
yyy> the worst thing he can do at this moment of increased confusion is to hear "formatting is complete"
xxx> no, no
xxx> the worst "copying is performed"
yyy> the recording process has been interrupted, insert...
yyy> insert a clean medium
yyy> but copying is worse, yes
yyy> "the backup copy has been successfully created"!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98592
 30.05.2014
XH: end of May. Great weather on the street. A woman in the gym walks on a runway for 40 minutes on a walk. Then he leaves in the car. Do I know something about this world?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98591
 30.05.2014
by 19:34. The interruption. Speakers on Yandex.Maps:

Are we not being evacuated? It feels like I am parked.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №98590
 30.05.2014
Evgeniy: *Songs* All covered with heresy, absolutely all...

Ryuk: There is an island of socialists in the ocean. D and D'

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98589
 29.05.2014
Adolescent daughter, 15 years old.
I discussed with a colleague about the nuances of this age for a girl.
How old are your cockroaches?
YYY: How much at what time? At the 30th!

The Curtain

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №98588
 29.05.2014
I dreamed of proving to someone that I have a normal password, I show, say, see, here are letters and big and small, and signs and numbers, and it is not difficult to remember.

When he woke up, he remembered a movie where spies were embedded in other people’s dreams and extracted secret information from them.

Now I’m thinking about not changing my password...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98587
 29.05.2014
Oh those cats! Terribly frightened by the working dryer, the cat stuck in the corner and pressed into the vacuum cleaner.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98586
 29.05.2014
Post title "Unbelievably realistic rolled cats".

I was scared when I read the book.

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98585
 29.05.2014
He spent his childhood in the village. and come to us somehow relatives from the city with them a son of 15 years old and from the threshold declares that he is all will be only a fork except soup.))) I am proud of my mother’s response to a teenager’s statement:

He cooked the manka for the next morning and put a fork next to his portion)))) At his surprise, the answer came immediately: "You lean over the cup and work the fork more often - you will get it all out!"

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