Lunch, we go in the car with the boss (it-division), or rather we stand on the lighthouse near our office. An economist from our own organization begins to cross the road, at this time the green light is lit for us, the boss touches, the economist looks at the car, at the boss, and is taken off the road by races. The boss whispers under his nose:
He knows I’m not going to stop.

Can the joke about disconnecting water already be written?

About the alarms:
I wake up and turn it off immediately, then sleep again doesn't help ((
WOW: and you put away to get up.)
No, it did not help to try. and ((
WOW: then hide it, or better generally in the closet under the lock, and hide the key too.
XHH: You would still offer there another shade of what, guess the mystery and the castle to open, or until you collect a Rubik's cube fucking open. And here I am so sleepy standing in cowards, marrying and collecting it.
WOW: Oh, and from the closet at this moment the alarm will sing a theme from Ford Boyd. ))

Theme in the forum:
Hello to everyone. My name is Cindy. The fact is that I have loved a guy for 8 years, but all this time he has a different one.
His name is Ken and his girlfriend is Barbie.

The main evil of the Earth, Osama bin Laden died about 5 years ago by his death. This was known to the highest ranks of European and Russian intelligence. Fool, it is like in childhood in the last horse in hiding played - everyone will run to hide, and in the houses, and the driver is looking for everything, looking for it, looking for it... :-)

Beloved, is it true that I have been given to you by God?
I don’t know what sins I have...

On the third day of work, they brought a handful of gastarbayters from Tajikistan, worked together for about 2 weeks, did not communicate because the language was bad and here in the smoking room the first conversation for all the time, one of the visitors asks:
In which city are we?

We had a girl at the faculty - a modest, cute, handsome, blue-eyed - a wonderful angel with 3m size. At the time of writing the paper was finished. She wanted to ask a sheet of paper from the teacher. But this expression has a coincidence with another well-known phrase. As a result, the following dialogue took place:
Prep: May I help you?
Yes, I just need a piece of sheet.
We stepped under the parties, and the pad floated into its place, shrinking and shrinking... And already from there I passed a leaflet with the words "It's not what you exactly asked... But I believe..."

Mom, you are a fraud!
I am not a coward, I am a coward.

40 years of mother.

On the website of a prestigious medical centre:
Venereology
Actions "Healthy member of society" - 1800 rubles! to

A quiet night let you dream... well, let nothing dream... let you sleep.

Coming to a family mate in a visit, he desperately crashes into the WOW. To destroy loneliness, I ask:
How many subscriptions per month?

A friend’s cry from the neighbor’s room:
The damn! Is it still paid?? to

Comments on a photo of the dark courtyard, processed in "Photoshop".

by Oleg Перезябов
There is a lack of young people in the area.

Evgeny Rudakov
They are photographing 😉

Misha is clear
Where to go in Photoshop to do this!! to

by Oleg Перезябов
Here are they.

Comrade works as a guide on the train Moscow-Kerch says:
Moscovites in the summer when they go to the sea, as soon as they enter the train think that they are already at sea, the women in swimsuits walk, the children with swollen circles, and the men in slats and masks.

In the zoo, a mother with an adult daughter (aged 17) choose a means so that the cat does not hate the apartment. On the shelf there are different sprays, such as "antihadine" and so on.
That’s going to be for Barca!
Mother : Aha And this is what I will do to you, and I will do it to you.

As you know, 93% of women masturbate in the shower.
7 percent are lying.

I am sitting at the open window, and outside the antenna landed a whore with a black spot on the chest and I said, "Chirik-Chirik!" And I said to him, “Chirik-Chirik!”" He has flown.
A minute later, this man with a speck comes with two other frogs, and everyone is screaming at me.
HH: This is what happened?
WOW: The trip he brought brother.

Roads of Russia! To fuck you in the North Pole bears in the ass. You are people without principles and conscience.

Aids ask for help to raise the server. We lawyers are asked. I will help, I will help
...
XHH: It turns out they had to help move the server.

From the resume "In 2006 I stumbled into the university..."
I have never seen such an accurate description of the student’s attitude to school.