xxx: by the way, yes, on Friday he walked on a pedestrian bridge from the park, a guy offered for money to watch the moon
YYY: Astronomer and astronaut?
Yyy: "O brother, do you know where the polar star is? No is? What if I find?and "

After dismissal from the Army, he worked in a brick factory, then in a leather factory. Six months later, my friends were invited to work at the CHOP in Moscow. Well, I worked for myself, a month later I became the head of the shift, paid $ 250. of the month (1997). And at night he sat in the office on the only computer, and studied the brochure "Windows 3.1". A couple of times he broke the computer, and then at three at night he called the IT-masters in the newspaper to repair before the office began. Shortly afterwards, he mastered the word, peint and saper.

Soon our secretary Sabrina (5th size) gathered in a decree.

A week later, a chef from Germany returned to the office and asked to print a price list. And nobody could, in the first password only I knew (Sabrina gave), in the second "hacker" I was too. I said I could print, the chef asked what I could do, he replied that I know English, Russian, and Tatar with a dictionary.

The boss called the director, and said to him - go now with this guy (with me) to the market (Dynamo) and buy two costumes, tie, shirts, shoes, and socks.

You will have enough of a carpenter a month, the boss asked me, I replied, and I started working.

A year later he became the director of the company.

The lack of clothes of these citizens was compensated with interest by a gentleman of a completely different kind. He was in chromium shoes with buttons, visiting pants, a dumb-stick jacket, a collar, a tie and a clock chain, as well as a feather hat. The thick buttocks and window wool in the ears supplemented the appearance of this man. Next to him was a stick with a glass barrel, perpendicular to the sand.

I know Tom. The collar was swollen from the sweat. It was hot under the gentleman’s head, like in a dome; there could be melted the ore. But he continued to lie still.

On any beach in the world you can find one such person. Who he is, why he came here, why he lies in full uniform – nothing is known. But there are people like that, one on each beach. Per they are members of some secret League of Fools or the remnants of the once powerful Order of the Rosicruciers, or the broken solitary — who knows...

("Golden calf" I. Ilf, E. Petrov)

20353 – Do we need to build?

The Beach Moralist 20353: Milonov or Misulin?

1 channel, interview with a resident of the house, in Vladivostok, in which a training artillery projectile was hit, during the rehearsal of the naval parade.

Resident: I sit at home, I watch TV, I hear whistles, whistles, blows and explosions. I thought the bathroom fell from the balcony, it was already.

by 20353:
I put on a parade and walked away from where I came out.
I have everything.

In the early 2000s, the main desire of the growing generation was to have their own personal computer. Many of them have been there and have been there for days. So my friend decided to seriously approach the issue of purchasing his PC. His parents supported him and his father gave him a wooden box with a broken gap for bills. He began to study seriously, because every fifth was encouraged in money. Everyone gave him money for his birthday and he put everything on the computer. Saved on everything. The coins were first accumulated in a glass bank and then exchanged for large banknotes. He already collected a considerable amount, so we already went to shops and took prices, compared prices. It was all about buying a compass. But then his older brother from the army came back, opened the box and swallowed it all.

P.S I bought a computer, but in a year.

The movie on the trailer:
The sound on my TV was literally 5 seconds. The rest of the time is silent cinema.
What are Korean subtitles for?

Some time ago I was quite sick, so I even decided to go to a psychologist. We went for a few sessions and talked about something. It seemed a little better, but in general, the condition is bad, and there are problems and money is not all right. I wonder where to get the money. And then I was obscured: "And I will not go to a psychologist, and do not have to gamble where to dig". I felt so well here. It wasn’t so good for a few months. and happiness.
Therapy has helped.

by 20353:
If you’re a man and you don’t like cute girls in a bikini, you’re crazy.
And if you are a woman, you are a jealous snake.
If you’re a man and you’re stressed by guys in swimsuits, you’re worried.
If you’re a woman, you’re crazy.
If your children do not know the difference between boys and girls, poor children, they must be rescued urgently.
Even if on the beach around just a crowd of fat bears in clothes not suitable for their figures - it means that they were so raised. But it is no longer your problem.
And if you come to me with claims on the beach, I will courteously send you far and long. If not, I will show you where to go.

I am myself from the village, the daughter of a farmer..About 9 cockroaches, believe me, everything is not so unambiguous!

We were looking for new employees, the HR department selected several candidates and I was instructed to test their knowledge and select the best of the best. After 10 candidates had to lower the bar and find at least someone who is able to learn and has at least the slightest idea about the device of cars.



Candidate 1 :

I: Tell me where you worked before and what was the experience of repairing cars?

Q: I’ve worked with most of our city’s official dealers, such as BMW, Toyota, Nissan, Shang Yong.

I: It is great. Has the grid changed? Did heating systems have to be installed?

K: No, of course, I was a warehouse worker there.



The Candidate 2:

Q: I’ll say immediately that I’ve got a lot of experience, so let’s not ask children’s questions.

I: Okay, please tell me what this inscription means (I show the 5w40 oil canister)?

Q: Can you ask a simpler question?



The Candidate 3:

Q: Can you tell me about the oil filter?

K: I’ll go better.



The Candidate 4:

Q: Take me, you will not regret. I can increase the profit of your service!

I: I wonder how?

Q: Well, I’ve worked a lot, so I know a lot of ways. For example, in the diagnosis of suspension, you can miss what is okay. Do not add some oil or other fluids. And you can also specially bend the wheel when crashing, so that the customer pays for adjustment!

I’m sorry, you don’t fit me. In our service for this they are fined and fired.

Q: So say what you want to offer the boss these ideas!



The Candidate 5:

Hello, I am from Anton Sergeevich! * I have no idea who it is.* is

I: From whom?

Q: You should have been warned.

I: Okay, tell me what types of suspensions do you know?

The 500 ruble banknote



As a result, a young man was taken, only after the army with a diploma of secondary education, almost without experience. He trained for 2 months, but now is one of the best employees.

When I, a ten-year-old, got a computer in 2000, my father solved the problem with games very simply. Do you love and know how to play games? Here is your game. But you won’t have a new game until you’ve finished this one.” And put Flanker 2 (the most realistic air simulator at the time). And even brought me a manual printed at work to the game in 200 (two hundred, Karl!!!) the pages. I was crying for six months, but I was playing! Since then I hate planes.

I used to work in a supplier factory. I went to one small organization behind the office, and there a pretty nice girl writes out goods documents. Since he was free from any relationship, he decided to take advantage of the moment and "pick up" to this lady, shining with ingenuity. To start the conversation, I didn’t find anything better than to say to her, “You’re holding the pen so strangely, can you teach me?” It says, “Cut off two fingers.” He shows me a three-fingered hand.

From the life of the head of the NGO.
One of my parents has an open form of tuberculosis. I called a month ago:
"My husband found a benign tumor, but everyone refuses to take him for surgery. Do you have a crazy surgeon?
We have... specials for the healing of bombs, monks and other unchecked fraternities. I gave contacts. My mom calls today:
God give you all health! The operation tomorrow. She agreed on everything! This is what strange set she asked to bring? A packet of novocaine or lidocaine, a necklace, a packet of single-use diapers, three kilograms of oranges and a cake?
I lie, rju... novocain and diapers to my husband, clear pen, the rest - the fee for the operation to those who agreed to help...

I understand it all, she is a meloman and generally a diverse personality, but in the playlist of Naka and Nakka mixed up... And according to her, what a difference, one letter, well, and the genres of these groups are a bit different.
And I almost died of surprise when this "difference" in the columns burst!

uvejourgen: in order to take on the upbringing of a 9-year-old babysitter you need to be either a professional pioneer or a sergeant bitten by a flag.

Vladimir Lazurko> In the underground basement of the club of tautology lovers found the dead body of the deceased.
Waddman> and what about him?
dmidek> He died deadly.

With me in the hospital was a guy, a lover of looking for valuable things in the country houses, to put it simply a thief. And one day he used to the plot with a good such a shark, and the owner of the house was many times robbed by different creatures and he worked until his retirement at the factory for the production of grenades and anti-peacekeeping mines. Shortly it exploded on one of the three tons more mines set by the owner, to meet uninvited guests.



After the arrival of the police, his outrage knew no limits.

I was walking here and it was a cacao!

What did you do there?

I thought I might find something valuable.

And the fool, even if the fucking, the leg repaired and home. Grandfather was arrested...