bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16216
 04.05.2009
<666>: The Woman! If I had a gun, I would have hit you!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №16215
 04.05.2009
Were you in space today?
Tagged4: was
What was in the lab?
Tagged with: o! So unusual. The lab has never been so interesting as it is today.
Lena: And what exactly?
Vadim4: The entire men’s contingent stood around a cup of petri and trembled into it.
Is that what excited you so much?
Vadim4: We just thought, and suddenly Lena will ask what was at the lab today, and we will not even have anything to tell.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16214
 03.05.2009
8th Anniversary Celebration...
YYY, what is it?
Shortly after 4 o’clock in the morning, the cards decided to play, naturally to the desire. well all sat.I splashed. shorter desire, these dogs in general cool came up... I had to go out of the house in my boots and pyjamas with a bowl in which a soluble coffee is poured, and ask the passers for a bowl.Pepe, I was caught up too!!! to
YYY who?Who are these good people? 😉
XXX. also decided to play on wishes.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16213
 03.05.2009
I sit with a friend in class. The immense size of the puppet explains that one, bending with cancer in the neighboring row, ticks a friend’s back almost in the face.
We sit up. Then she turns her head and begins: “Don’t you be ashamed of talking under my nose?” Friend:"Huyase NOS"
Učilko, because of his deafness, did not hear this phrase and again spit his "nos" in his face. Here everything should have ended if it wasn’t the phrase from the neighboring party:" A sting is sneezing";
I’m not going to write stupid phrases like “the lesson was broken” or “everything fell under the table” but it rusted for a long time.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №16212
 03.05.2009
The hardest thing is to give the truth a commodity.
by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №16211
 03.05.2009
The office fucking.
I just had to print one page. I send a TXT file.
I go to the press, then go to the next room, where the printer stands – strange.
Nothing is printed. Printer in normal condition, paper
Yes, but the result is zero. I send it again, I look at the task manager
Printing: All of the stuff. But not even printed.
I tried from Word: the result is the same.
Somewhere on the 7-8th sheet the reason was found: the air conditioner was turned on
too much, and for the time that it took me to get out of my
room to the printer, he successfully pushed another sheet into a distant corner
Under the table...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №16210
 03.05.2009
Buy a ticket at the train station:
Do you have a ticket to Urupinsk?
There is.
Is there a side shelf at the top of the toilet?
There is!? to
- And in front of me camp Roma tickets bought, can you take them in the car?
Maybe, but there’s still Dembele.
Let’s go, that is it!
He bought, comes home, his wife runs out of the kitchen and asks:
Did you buy my mother’s ticket?
You won’t believe, the last wreck.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №16209
 02.05.2009
The place of action is the zoo. The department of aquariums...I review "sales" fish.. beauty... Close to nirvana. Suddenly I find a species of fish that my good acquaintance has been looking for for a long time. I press the buttons of my mobile phone. Conversation from me:
Hi to you! I am in the aquarium. There are snowmills. Did you want them? Who is you? And how much? There are black ones here, let’s find out later. I’ll buy it now and you’ll get it tonight.
have agreed. They said goodbye. He comes in tonight:
– Irka, you can imagine, I talked to you, and then I see – my colleagues from the heck have already slipped under the tables. I am to them: what’s the matter? And they can’t even say a word.They just whisper – they can’t laugh anymore...Then, when they calmed down, they quoted a part of the conversation that they heard unilaterally:
Hi to you! It is great! I want! I want very much! I have long wanted!! I have girls! A couple! Give me three. Only the whites. How much money? It suits! I am running to you at 6 p.m.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №16208
 02.05.2009
If you shoot yourself in the back of the head, will you be able to see the brains flying out from the front of your head?
It is...
I will try! Then I sign up!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №16207
 02.05.2009
Cultural people always use Gondons. The Durex Law.
Gondons always use cultural people. The law of life...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №16206
 02.05.2009
In short –

1) all the people who died from the "Mexican flu" were sick with something else? In addition to the flu itself (heart, oncology) or were from slums with severe malnutrition, that is, it is only dangerous for very weakened organisms.

2) to Moscow brought our tourist from Mexico with "ununderstood" (whether he or not is not yet clear). They jump around it, but especially for now there is no tension.

3) in Mexico and other Latin American countries and before, the people died of the flu in commodity quantities (thousands of victims for the epidemic). Of the flu usually do not die - weakened people die from complications of the flu.

The commercial background of the scandal should also not be forgotten - poultry producers, sellers of cotton-gaze bandages, huge orders for antiviral drugs.

5) and the last - in the order of advertising - Arbidol - does help. It is a good immunomodulator.

The virus dies at +65 in 5 minutes of treatment.

— — —
Please do your best so that the people do not panic in vain!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №16205
 02.05.2009
From the Poetry Forum:
Love date with Akhmatova always ends with a longing: no matter how you embrace this lady, the board will remain a board.
c) by Bunin
YYY:this is what it means "not gave" :)))

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16204
 02.05.2009
Did you also want Fedor’s uncle’s dad to choose a cat, not his mom?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №16203
 02.05.2009
Another story about a cat... an animal is still overwhelmed... well, on the tables in the silent climbs, stirs a snack, looking around clutches on the carpet in the hallway. But here! The superstition! Spire the sausage, straight in a bundled bag... the piece was lying on the table... brought to me in the room... placed by the bed... like “Miau! Open the bag and we’ll share with you.”

[ + 48 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16202
 02.05.2009
Let men think they are smarter than us. Let them think they are more talented. More capable, more fortunate, earn more. Let it be.
But the breasts are with us!
by AKL

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №16201
 02.05.2009
What about the noise at the entrance?
bender: while in the shower was - put on the whole tiamat, sorry
xxxolesyaxxx: right to write
bender: "timati" is correctly written "monkey", and tiamat is tiamat, dry up girl.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16200
 02.05.2009
Teacher at the lecture:
Idiots are not taught in Baumanka.
(Thinking of a pause)
Unusual things happen here...
And strangely defiled.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №16199
 02.05.2009
Until the year 2000, Russia was unchecked.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №16198
 02.05.2009
The morning. The Office. In the office of the director of the company is a meeting with someone.
and partners. The secretary opens the door and says:
– Ivan Ivanovich, are you in the office this morning?
Yes, and what then?
Somebody just wiped up the toilet.
With this phrase she closes the door and leaves... the pause was very long...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №16197
 02.05.2009
Are you natural or gay?
What is?
Are you a sexual minority or a majority?
I am a sexual loneliness.

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