bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97924
 15.05.2014
Prohibition of GPS:
I propose to ban houses in France, luxury cars for officials, Japanese TVs and other foreign shit. Logically is.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97923
 15.05.2014
How many people are associated with the date 16-17.08.1998
Here are my five copies.
August 17, Monday was, the director went out of vacation and gave me a generous prize for his replacement (by the way, the only time generous), and in the evening of the same day, I was not frightened by any news, pulled my husband into the store. He, by the way, insisted, suggested to do it later, but me, the mother of minors twins, it was impossible to stop, and we bought a washing machine.
In our province, sellers were also long messed up, shops closed only on the 18th, when news came from Moscow.
Z is. The washing machine is still working, glucose has just begun to appear, but it is not critical yet. And the man didn’t last that time, he slunged)))))))))))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97922
 15.05.2014
I am a guy, I have long hair under my shoulders and a beard. And to the claims of the local gopnikov "Huli you like a long-haired grandma" before I could answer "Have you seen a bearded grandma for a long time?"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №97921
 15.05.2014
X: When a colleague asked me if I liked playing tennis, I answered "yes"
X: And she offered to play. Since then, we have played often.
X: when she went to the hospital, and a friend offered to play tennis, but!
X: At that moment I realized that what I liked most in tennis was her jumping "balls"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97920
 15.05.2014
hhh: yeah, let go in nature in physruck real love of real boys more in all concepts
You stayed in Siso for a week, by mistake. And you are a philologist, you know perfectly where to put the signs of intersection.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97919
 15.05.2014
My son stretches a diary: the main thing is that we are alive and healthy? Is it true?...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №97918
 15.05.2014
I love young people.
If you don’t tell them specifically that you’re 50 years old, they’ll be honestly sure that you’re 38 years old, because both of them are very old.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97917
 15.05.2014
I am not a programmer, nor am I an admin.
I decided to clean the system from dust. Disassembled, dampened, replaced the refrigerator on the shower, removed the coolers, collected.... At 2 o’clock I suffered, looked at everything, tried it... Let’s think I’ll try it like an admin. He picked up a new one, stood up, leaned his hands to the ceiling and said:
“O great Ktoluh, turn on this iron machine, I promise to turn it on every day so that it sends you digital prayers, admin.
I pressed the button, turned on.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97916
 15.05.2014
In the bus, the mother says to the baby: You want to sleep, and you are crying for 10 minutes. I could sleep for 10 minutes!
If you want to sleep, sleep! What is unclear?
My husband is 48 years old. When he can’t sleep, he cries, knocks at the door, cries.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97915
 15.05.2014
Unfortunately, we didn’t buy more quas yesterday, and in the evening the windows would be broken.
In the European?
In the European

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97914
 14.05.2014
But the first places there are mainly occupied by the principle of "your, see what kind of fig got on the stage!".
___________________
You directly sounded my thoughts when I watched the victory of Bilan :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №97913
 14.05.2014
It shouldn’t die :)

Yulia Agapova, BAHTYC (Bantyk), the man of three wishes, SKYPIDAR, Olya Death, Pushticks and the talking ass, the firefighters who stumbled, the friend of the vapors of Kesha, the orange uncles, the students with the puppets at the stop, people, where are you all?! Go back!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97912
 14.05.2014
The author is this:
____________________________________________
Rogozin: From July 1, the transmission of the GPS signal in the Russian Federation through American stations will be stopped.
If the negotiations on the placement of GLONASS in the United States do not come out of a deadlock.
What about maps and stars?
____________________________________________
Not the transmission of the GPS signal in the Russian Federation will be stopped, but the work of the ground control stations of the orbital grouping of the GPS system will be suspended, which will lead to a maximum to some decrease in positioning accuracy for receivers supporting only GPS. Read the primary sources not diagonally and do not misinformation the public even on a humorous site.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №97911
 14.05.2014
Let us enjoy the moment.
Is it a toxicoman?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97910
 14.05.2014
XXX: What is your favorite color?
Look at me and tell me what my favorite color is.
XXX is black?
Yyy: not guessed, dark green
You are dressed in black.
Yyy: very dark green.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97909
 14.05.2014
On the third night I suffer from insomnia. I look at the cat and envy - he is well, any food for him acts as a sleeping pill.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97908
 14.05.2014
Read the news tape: "Russia will send the largest reconnaissance ship"
First thought: they are not burning anymore.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97907
 14.05.2014
The Investigative Commission of the Parliament of Ukraine, which is headed by People’s Deputy Gennady Moskal. andquot;

Commentary :
He hates the mosquitoes.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №97906
 14.05.2014
A tribute to China for the fact that when they showed the Eurovision winner in the news, his (her) e*alo was closed with squares, so as not to traumatize the psyche of its people.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97905
 14.05.2014
This is:

Smart people, I am not concerned at all about how many critical days girls begin; whether they have parents or not; whether they know or not. This, your mother, is not my problem. Why should I watch the bullshit advertising of tampons, pads and drops?
___________________________________________________

For the same reason that I should look at the advertising of prostatitis treatment and remedies for impotence.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna