bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128113
 15.05.2016
It is nice to watch economic news and analytics on the channel, because his owner has achieved everything himself - his husband just paid for everything, bought licenses, closed every quarter of the debt of the losing enterprise and agreed on everything.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128112
 15.05.2016
Smoke and Cactus.
But I am a little ashamed anyway.

Okay, maybe Dima and did not want to serve in the army.

I had a friend when I was young and something happened to him all the time. You’ll meet him, and he’s mashed with a folded hand, or a folded leg, or telling how he’s been pulled out of a burning bus. Once again, he flew out of the institute, in the military command, asking when was the last brain shock? More than six months ago? You can go to the army, be prepared. He went out, reflecting, did not have time to walk 500 meters, as the good guys of the hopes made him a new shock. In the late 1990s, if


[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128111
 15.05.2016
When our son was a kid, he said so ridiculously, “Mama, give me dani.” Now he’s 40 and he says very clearly, “Mom, give me money.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128110
 15.05.2016
For the pedestrian:

It was recalled: "from the protocol: crossed the road, but was shot down by a pedestrian."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128109
 15.05.2016
The fact that loins and legends should be worn with a long tip is a common tradition, with what is overweight or lack of weight?! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128108
 15.05.2016
I stand on the balcony. A pigeon arrived and sat on the perimeter. I look at the pigeon, the pigeon looks at me. We have a mutual interest. We look at each other. I think nature is the greatest creator. To create something living, beautiful and nothing unnecessary! Per the pigeon thought the same thing... I smoked, the pigeon demonstrably turned away and flew away.
Morals: pigeons despise smokers.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128107
 15.05.2016
One day you begin to talk less and less about the things you have most cherished, and if you say, by force. You are filled with your own conversations. You try to reduce them. Then you stop completely. You have not spoken for thirty years. You don’t even try to be right anymore. You lose the desire to retain even a drop of joy that you have managed to create for yourself. Everything becomes disgusting. Now on the road leading to nowhere, you just have to eat a little, warm up and sleep as strongly as possible.

by Louis Ferdinand Celine

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128106
 15.05.2016
I saw the announcement:"I sell a suit". I was interested in the bones. And here the pictures are uploaded... Costume! I am disappointed...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №128105
 15.05.2016
The question of generations.
Today, at fifteen minutes, I explained to the red-colored young teacher that the "three-tarah" in the book is a thunderstorm, not a group orgia.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128104
 15.05.2016
Our director prohibits the use of the Bulgarian in the room, even in the welding workshop - he is irritated by this smell. He drives to cut the metal on the street, under the deck. I want to contact the disc manufacturers: Build a series of cut discs with fruit flavors. However, this will not save us - the boss is used to saving, and will not agree to overpay for the smell of a banana, raspberries or strawberries. Unfortunately...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128103
 15.05.2016
I got rid of this wretched store when one of the managers at the inventory, in order to count, opened the sealed bay of the wreath and measured it with a line. This fucking

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128102
 15.05.2016
Slash fanfics online. Now the contextual advertising offers me an anonymous reception of a psychotherapist.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128101
 15.05.2016
xxx: All programmers up to death in hell are warming up in the fucking code :)
YYY: No, in the fucking code we are cooked in life, in hell we are its refactor.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №128100
 15.05.2016
Q: I bought grapes in the market yesterday. They said sort somehow "kum-kush" or "shesh-beš", I did not remember. And - horror - there is no bone in it!! ! to I didn’t notice at first and ate 1.5 grains! ! to Only then I noticed that he was without bones, that is, infertile, but it was too late! I have already eaten.
What did they do with it and how does this grape grow?! Why is it not warned that it is genetically modified? Now I sit and fear - can I now have children?

A: You say “I can’t have children” as if it’s a bad thing in your case.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128099
 15.05.2016
And I don’t know who the clothes are sewn for in the current fashion, for pregnant anorexic girls or natural chickens with narrow legs, but I have some stomach, and my legs are normal, and I barely climb into this ruthless nightmare of the legs, but under the waistline you could have two hands running and scratching the eggs, as if they were.

Do you remember the lipsy singer in the Jabbah Palace in the Sixth Star Wars? Here is her.)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128098
 15.05.2016
Commentary on Glinka's book: General Chemistry

I didn't want to go to the chemistry exam - a pair on a pair.
Then I decided, and I prepared for this textbook.
outcome "5" o_O
I forgot it in a week =)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128097
 15.05.2016
I looked into the refrigerator and the wallet and it was bad. I watched TV and it turned out to be okay.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128096
 15.05.2016
"Unknown subjected the head of a pig to the receptionist Angela Merkel"

by GUT! I am a cold man! Mrs Merkel is pleased.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128095
 14.05.2016
The soul of the ice.
I like these phrases.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №128094
 14.05.2016
I am a pedestrian and always look to the right. Read the poem of Alexander Kurbatov "The Man Who Bought Vodka" (I didn't get him here whole, it's long enough, only the end).

The man who bought vodka,
I also looked to the left.
Then I wanted to go right.
I watched, but didn’t have time.

The vodka remains.
Her hand shakes her,
very carefully squeezed,
A very dead hand.

Friends still don’t know.
At the table in the store.
Talk about a man,
“To send after death.”

This is what I do, drivers - you have an iconostasis in the car through one. Do not kill, do not kill.

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