bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128093
 14.05.2016
You always write code without mistakes, have the perfect memory and the gift of foresight. Your code is so cool that it changes itself, following the customer’s requirements. Sometimes the code explains to the customer that his requirements are not necessary to implement.
c) the Habr

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128092
 14.05.2016
Cuckoo: When I hear at my address: "Why are you so angry?", then I understand that I have a few eyebrows ;D

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128091
 14.05.2016
Thick, thin are estimate judgments. Here is my mother-in-law with 46 sizes and 170 cm in height - thin worm, and the former wife of the younger son (size 180, size 50) - a fat cow. and :)

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №128090
 14.05.2016
Where is your course project?
The girl has no course plan.
The name!
The girl has no name.
...
Man puts 2

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128089
 14.05.2016
Discuss the cracks from space debris at the ISS:
HHH: What is it? Only 10 cm of glass. I thought it should be more, but it was dangerous.
WOW: There is a layer of discolored blue isolant, not a scratch.
Zzzz: then it had to be glued on both sides.
www: Stay in place, you have already left, where do you know what is on the two sides of the isolant?

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128088
 14.05.2016
His name is Ivanov Valery Petrovich. We saw in the database of the user Ivanov Valery Petrovna and for a long time could not enter: it is a real person or Valerka just for testing and decontamination of the program created his double, changing gender. I asked. My colleague is very upset:

The fucking! You ask me so much about it that as an honest man I must marry her!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128087
 14.05.2016
For the pedestrian:

A pedestrian, remember, it is better to be in six houses than half-sixth in a morrow!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128086
 14.05.2016
hhh: read the phrase "wasabi eat" as "ossla fuck"
We need to work less...
WOW: What is your job?! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128085
 14.05.2016
I have a story about this: I once had a birthday and my friends gave me mostly the books I asked for. But a friend gave me a biography of Marquez, written by him. This was the beginning of my acquaintance with him. Now for me much closer and closer, because it is associated with this close friend. If that’s nonsense to you, I’m sorry. And looking at the world unsocial and only through the text, right, is not worth it.

That fucking. And my future husband gave me the first time to listen to Dorz and read Vonnegut. Since then, they have been closer and closer to me, because they are associated with the loved one. Not a specific paper book or plastic cassette - but all the creation of the above. A "I’m sorry you" – unworthy controversial reception, if anything.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128084
 14.05.2016
HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY This is a good girl, ours.

XHH: The most funny is the topic of conflict. We claimed that trolls exist!!!But his opponent is the opposite.

WOW: Well, she has proven that there is. eighteenth level

A: The child is not 3 years old.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128083
 14.05.2016
Review of the book "What Shakespeare Really Wrote"

Morana7020: Well, these figures have already reached Shakespeare...Who is next?

Xenos: I am afraid that the truth about the Old Testament and the Little Arnaut in Odessa will be revealed.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128082
 14.05.2016
I am looking for a cheap wind generator. I found the site - "home manufacturer", "our developments", "our engineers" - but expensive.
I tried to search in a well-known Chinese online store - oppa-na, the same "native" windmills, only made in China and costs twice as cheap.
Local producers :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128081
 14.05.2016
Go home with the dog. and dark. On the bench two already well-recovered old women culturally rest.
Good night! We are welcomed alone.
I am good, I say.
Hello to you, my young, shy friend! He continues to be equally welcoming. As the famous Russian poet Exupery said: “We are responsible for those who have been taught to ourselves.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128080
 14.05.2016
prizrak_spb: Then I wish creative usbekov, and thickness! and :-)
Frida: Don’t have to! I was once wished creative Uzbek - so I married a designer from Samarkand.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128079
 14.05.2016
For a while, I lived next to the building market. So before people crossing the road with boards in front and other heavy and massive structures, everyone, even the military from the nearby military unit, was slowed down. So the non-illusory opportunity to get into the front glass bar, and thus equalizing in danger drivers and pedestrians, somehow increases the degree of politeness on the road.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128078
 14.05.2016
Combine the last movie you watched and the last game you played in order to come up with a new game or movie.

I have musicals hairspray and doom. The astronaut dances and sings for the equality of demons with humans. All in the style of the 60s.

- and if the opposite - a fat girl under fun dances and music, with a gasoline and a shotgun goes to Mars to clog the portal with blacks.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128077
 14.05.2016
I go one day on Fedoseenko street on my then-Oke and look for house No. 54. I have been here and there several times, not to see at home and remembering the proverb the language to wherever it will lead, I decide to ask the people. I go to the common stop. Transportation, in order to hurt the people, I open the window and shout according to all the rules: -Hello, sorry, do you not tell where is the house No. 54 on Fedoseenko street?!!! Three of them, who stood closer to all, said, “We don’t hear.” They say. I scream louder the same, even the music turned off entirely. To be heard. They say, “We don’t hear!” Okay, I think, I shut up the car, I go out, I close. I approach them closely and angrily: DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE ACCIDENTY HOUSE No. 54 BY UL.FEDOSEENKO!!! And they say to me, “We don’t hear!” We are deaf!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128076
 14.05.2016
[21:53:15] besic88: My hot water will not be turned off either
[21:53:29] Loiso_Pondhova: she doesn’t include her
[21:53:38] besic88: here are the little things

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128075
 14.05.2016
Early morning message from ASCII:
Server orientation, I want you to believe... I want you to cry!
After the game-control, before the general trouble, you did not make backpacks!!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128074
 14.05.2016
But the external blocks of the air conditioners heat the surrounding air and because of you, the bourgeois, we, the normal people, are hot!
WOW: WOW, and the engines of the cars are heating up, someone is cooking something on the plate,...
And they are shooting more...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna