I was in Dacia. There instead of a neighbor with a perforator, a neighbor with a cultivator acts.

Let’s plan the evening for you. Music or cinema? The candles? Fruits and vegetables? ?
Well, I have 2 beets in the cold.)
HHH: Then we will smash the beetle cheeks and dance under the ramstein!!! to

We went with Daniel to the fountain for water. With us connected Sanek, Danilkin friend years so 10-11. Let’s go, Daniela bucht: "why do you need to pull water, here’s the excellent water under the crane". I begin to explain the harm of calcium carbonate. I have been teaching chemistry for a year.
“Daniel,” I insidiously asked, “What is carbonate?
The whirls screamed loudly, Daniel stumbled and silenced. After three minutes of silence, Sanek said:
“Carbonate,” he instinctively said, “Daniel, this is such a sausage!

The Third World War began.
The last working satellite was shot down, all optical cables were broken by nuclear explosions. All kinds of diathletes covered up, because there are no fools carrying packages on radioactive mine fields under artillery.
And only in the office of the Russian Post every day, at 9:00, their employees come to work. After 30 years on the salary of 6000 they no longer fear anything:
"Well what, you fuck up, you fuck up? Has your internet broken? Well, go, fill out the receipt, pay the commission! Do you have a package with Banderol? The Banderol? We don’t take banana on Wednesday. We have lunch in 15 minutes!"

About the behavior of drivers on the roads in Novokuznetsk has already been written here. I want to make my contribution:
He helped a young woman drive a car out of the garage. For a long time it was wrong. Then it came: all the mirrors in the car are deployed in such a way as to look at the loved one.

A pessimist folds the toilet paper fourfold.

Russian people will do anything from the forum.

The accountantry stopped and started demanding some fan because it was hot. For a long time I could not understand what I was talking about.
“Well, you’re there in the room that we have, it whispers loudly, and when you open the door, it blows from there.
Oh, I'll drop everything and go air conditioners from the server to drag you...

zxcabs: Interesting whether internationalization will be made into other languages. How would it sound in Russian? “Good glass, take a picture?”
Bubuq: “So the eye...”
JaLoveAst1k: “OK, Glass...”
Okay, the glass...
Modern style: “Good, point”
amdf: “Hey, the point...”
DVF: Point, take a video!

Alex: I understood one thing about grandmother’s bottles – the less, the more expensive the wall.
Helga is! A good super glue is more expensive than a large tube of moment.
Alex: the technician, the fucking )))
Helga: I convert in terms you understand ))

Why do you have these big ones?
Seller: 25
Wife: Can I hold it? and oh! How healthy, barely fit in the palm! and less?
Seller: by 20
Wife: No, they’re fluid somehow.
I have different clients. Here, the grandmothers over the age of 70 are no longer able to cope with so much, take less.
Wife: Okay, I’ll take this bigger. A couple of times and finished, sweetheart.
Seller: Do not forget to soak before use. It will become more elastic and flexible.
Wife : thank you! How this will hit you right away!

You listened to a scene from life: "My wife chooses a crown at the market"

And at home, I have everything friendly, fine, clean, delicious, fine and chic sex with my beloved wonderful, untouched and untouched woman.

G H by Andersen

Those who have a baseball bat in their hands have only a bit of information in their brains.

I have only one phobia – fear of heights, acrophobia scientifically. I am not afraid of snakes, I am not afraid of dogs, but I am afraid of heights so that even on high heels I am badly done. Nevertheless, a couple of times in my life I have had to do real climbing myself.
I will never forget the first time. My friend and I just had the pleasure of visiting the Nikitsky Botanical Garden, which is in Crimea, and after a whole day in the heat, we, of course, wanted to swim in the sea. Only here the beach was unclear where, everywhere sloping rocks, and below the sea. Finally, we saw a very clean, very isolated beach, without the usual in the Crimea huge valleys under the water on the shore, and even with sand. And not one person. It was located far below the rock, and there was no staircase or at least a trail there. My friend, a person of adventure and fearlessness, calmly begins the descent right down the rock, relentlessly encouraging me "to the weak." When I woke up, I followed her. It was horror. I did not dare to look down, but I noticed slightly that some people appeared on the beach, and the number of them is increasing. Finally, scratched but terribly proud of myself, I find myself on the beach. The girlfriend is already explaining with some guys in camouflage and with machine guns across the shoulder, which explained to us quite peacefully and calmly that this is the personal beach of the President and a simple mortal on it, unfortunately, cannot be. When we asked them why they didn’t scream to us in the process of descending, they replied that the maturity of two girls in mini jerseys and beach boots descending on a sloping rock, clinging to cactus and grass – a circus too interesting to miss. Fortunately, there was no YouTube at the time. After breathing up, we gathered together to go the same way back up, but the guys, roasting, kindly opened us an invisible barrel on the side and let go to the road to the harbour. A fair and straight road. Only the beach at the harbour was not very similar to the presidential.

I'm an old pirate and I don't know the words of the license agreement!

Delivery of the lab by the student (c) to the teacher (p):
Q: Why is your variable named in Lithuanian?
Q: Well, I didn’t know how it would be in English, so I wrote Zayavkas.

I worked in a sanitary store, and over time a lot of seemingly necessary and at the same time long-leaning pads, crane boxes, macheteers and other nonsense accumulated. Soaked with the root to put all this "good" in a box, write on top "HREN" and carefully remove under the shelf. On the question of another buyer, “Do you have this shit?” and throwing a spare part just removed from the mixer, I get our box with an unwavering look, asking: “This?” ... ?

The citizen p. (a physicist-theorist on the diploma, among other things) sent the following appeal to the technical support service:
“Please allow me to turn on and off Wi-Fi on the printers around me, because from the constant Wi-Fi radiation I have a migraine.

The citizen was asked to use a cactus and, if it did not help, a ficus. Faucet from the foil to offer so far disappointed.

Russia-Austria 5-4, only the second period.
Are they playing without a goalkeeper?

by fareng8:
If the hamster is blurred and 2 sports strips are drawn on it through the entire body, then the burunduk will be obtained.)