Case at work. I work in a computer firm, with a colleague (K) went to one organization (called) which produces cosmetics for the network of pharmacies 36.6. We came, made the compass, we wait for the calculation. And then a colleague started:
Take a cream for your face.
Aunt from the company - Take young men to wife!
K – thank you!
And you take your wife!
I am not married, thank you.
If you are not married, take a hand cream.

I got the electricity when I stood with my colleague in the cigarette.)))

I wanted to send my boyfriend a picture of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and in response I got a message: “You’re definitely all in mom.”

Jane: Desire to Contact the Ring of Almighty
My uncle did that.
A Jewellery Uncle?
The Uncle Sauron.

Damn, and it is only in my city that pharmacists do not comment on the purchase of condoms or tests, the sellers in the supermarket do not rush over the incompatibility of my purchases, and the turn does not lie out of quick jokes? Tell me where to go, where to have fun.

Sanya (13:15:39 13/05/2011)
I have a computer crash, what do I do?? to

The answers:
My car doesn’t start, what’s the reason?
I want to lose weight, but I can’t do what to do?
I have a quarrel with my wife, I don't know why.
555: cooked peelmen, it turned out to be unpleasant, why not?
I am sick, how can I be cured?

111: Are you a dumb dumb? This is a forum for campers, not for stupid housewives like you!!!! I need a specific answer to a specific question!! to

Christine (13:17:01 13/05/2011)
Is it funny here? You computer scientists are all fools.

On the website of the cinema:

"Only in IMAX you will immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the new adventures of Jack the Sparrow..."

First comment: "Not Jack the Sparrow, but Captain Jack the Sparrow"

c.n.n: called the girl at home last weekend, after all we talked and it turned out that she is a very interesting and pleasant person, and I think she can get better)) tomorrow I go on a date with her^^ how do you think where to bring her, right?
zzz_ip: bring it to the skin dispenser!

XHH: Self-management in our school is terrible, everyone is put in place. I am a type boss, one friend is my deputy, the other is deputy deputy.
And the third is Aram зам зам? :D

You have such a touching drunk! I bled to tears.

Don Tello > Atri, try to rinse your throat with diluted chamomile tincture
Atrium Akvidus > For what purpose?
Don Tello > but if you spend less time, you get tired.

I sit on a pair, from nothing to do I draw a bear... A groupman turns around, takes a drawing with the words "only fools draw bears!" After 5 minutes returns a drawing with the words "Now, painted you a little..."

I go to the IT department today. One of the administrators tries to repair a broken barefoot by wrapping it with a large needle with the help of flat-flooders. The phrase "Our administrators are so harsh that they can forgive even barefooters!" was born somehow...

You never get tired of watching how the water flows, how the fire burns and how the Canadians cry in the quarterfinals)))

And a thread, and a boat with a spool. The shirt is not a problem.
"And I also know how to cross..."
To cook, to change the electrical wiring, to refined the part on the token machine, to refined the cow, to repair the car, to grow flowers.

Everyone should be able to change diapers, plan invasions, cut pigs, construct buildings, manage ships, write sonets, keep accounting, build walls, repair bones, facilitate death, execute orders, give orders, cooperate, act independently, solve equations, analyze new problems, throw thorns, program computers, tastefully cook, fight well, die worthy. Specialization - share of insects"
© Robert E. Heinlein "Star Landing"

Technical support staff ;)

<false ocean> I go into tax today, new details for buffs to rewrite!Over the info.standa a bunch of people with leaflets, pencil, etc. Nearby is a table behind which a bunch of people are sitting on each other’s head well and just at the table....I mean, I look at this whole primitive age, I get the phone and quietly photograph all the requests I need from different angles...Hey, such evil faces I have not seen for a long time, but most of all I was killed by an uncle who almost let go of tears looking at me, then on his iPhone, then on his 2 printed A4 sheets...

The first comment to the news on the ramp that in 2045 Russia will create the first cyborg:

-If Russia reaches the 45th year, then this artificial man will be made on Togliatti and he will be as poor as the production of the factory))) Will come out of the conveyor with a light bump and immediately send someone to us)))

What would you do if you had one day left to live?
Answer: I would look at the tape from the phone call, and fuck that terrible fuck, dying earlier.

I’m walking in a big park, two old ladies in front of me. The roads are not very narrow, but the ladies go so that they don’t get around, whoever rides will understand, we have 90% of the way. I ring the bell, ladies are frightened, confronted, separated, discontented. I move forward, and there is the light. During my waiting for the green light the ladies fit, one so disapprovingly:
- The girl, in general, for everyone "on the wheels" the road out there - and points to the road.
I smile and answer:
What if someone in a wheelchair is there too?
The woman rounded her eyes:
What are you comparing? The same man!

The red girl without a cat.

Bloodyhell: Hello Listen, I seem to have turned Oleg’s sister into Jehovah’s Witnesses. I meet Oleg, he beats me in the face without a greeting and speaks something about sects. And here I remember that once on a cigarette I went to Oleg, on the road I was infected with religious spam, I pushed him into my pocket on a machine. Oleg was not at home. I spoke with his sister, took cigarettes in my pocket, stumbled on papers, I was inspired and I was afflicted) And since I know the Old Testament poorly, and the Silmarillion is good, the Jews have created the Illuminator and in general the biblical stories have become much more sophisticated and interesting.:) In the end I sent her these jehovist spam and dropped, and she turns out to be going there for two months))) Tomorrow I go to her to discourage her.by :
Smoke before that. :D

Maxxx: Let’s see the movie?
Gaia4ka: Go on
Maxxx: Pretend to be my wife
Gae4ka: O_o well
Maxxx: The Movie "Fake My Wife"
Gaia4ka: (and I have already entered the role