bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №48594
 08.06.2011
Ya: in the periods of session from the graves of such famous scientists, such as Dalambere, Fourier, Gauss, etc. There are strange sounds similar to the rotation of a wire-shaped body in a closed space.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №48593
 08.06.2011
Anatoly Wasserman is the only person in the world who can prove his point of view.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №48592
 08.06.2011
Two friends stand, one listening to music in the player with one headphone. A friend approaches him and takes a second earphone for himself.
A second friend’s immediate commentary: “If we lived on Pandora, you’d be coupled now.”

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №48591
 08.06.2011
And to what devil did you sell your soul that I was so good at you?

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №48590
 08.06.2011
Gifted to the Birthday PS3 (Playstation 3) and to the award of the game UEFA 2008.
We decided to try this unit in a circle of friends with a beer and a good snack.
Since the blood burst alcohol, the mood was fun, the noise in the apartment stood incredible. Somewhere in an hour of noise, noise and screams (give, give, shabby, soap judge, GOL, etc.)There was a bell at the door. The first thought was, “Well, all of you, neighbors!” I open the door, there is a neighbor from below (grown up, mayka, treniki) and with the words: "Bye, MAN, on what channel of MATCH, I can't find the beat hour, the whole telephone has gone away!!“!”
Through tears I explained why.
P/S Porzal, invited home, served a beer and all together with a calm soul continued the debush.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №48589
 08.06.2011
The defense of the diploma, a student, a lady of the age, who was unable to answer a single question, faithfully looking in the eyes of the acclaimed teacher, tries again:
As I learned from my diploma...
The Teacher spotted:
And then...!!! You are free...

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №48588
 08.06.2011
I wondered why one egg is lower than the other. While looking, I stumbled upon a question to the doctors who killed drunk:

Hi, 3 days ago, after a shower, I noticed that the right testicle is above the left and somehow pulled from the back, I for some reason decided that it was turned somehow wrong, and easily turned it 180 degrees so that it became symmetrical to the left, after ~15 minutes I had discomfort in the cheat and a feeling of tension that went up into the abdomen. I realized that something was wrong and turned the testis back (I don't know the truth or not, turned to the one where there was no resistance when turning). Uncomfortable feelings have not passed.

Rude Russian guys

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №48587
 08.06.2011
“Doctor, it seems to me that when I turn on a game, I hear the sound of a sign.
Well, what is the problem? It is normal.
I do not have a column.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48586
 08.06.2011
Shares briefly watched the film "Seven" with Brad Pitt... there at the end when he killed Kevin Spacey, a man on the helicopter issued an offensive phrase: "Anyone, call anyone!"

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №48585
 08.06.2011
Make a tattoo on the chest: "Before opening - shout" - entertain pathologists...

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №48584
 08.06.2011
The discrepancy of the smell and taste of baby strawberry shampoos is the most cruel kiddal of my childhood.

nn: shampoos - figs, but here are Chinese semi-transparent slices... )))

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №48583
 07.06.2011
by VAZ 2111
I bought the car on December 31, 2004, as there was a discount of $100. I took a luxurious setup, immediately put electric glass lifts, a steering wheel, a signal, music, glued the body, carpets new rubber bought, brushes changed at the courtiers, well, there, disks, rubber - it is understandable, and went! No matter what, the car is a luxury. Maybe I was lucky, but for 7253 km I only changed the support bearing, a pair of stands, a working adhesive cylinder, a carburetor, an oil pump, candles and a cylinder block head. The brake does not count. and all!! I think the VAZ 2111 is running! There was only one capital.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №48582
 07.06.2011
From the Fire:

I was 5-6 years old. To "eat" I have always been optimistic.
In the morning, I go into the kitchen and see a huge pot in which something is cooking. Well, I think we will eat something especially delicious, the pot is a big one, I approach the mommy:

Mom, what are you cooking?
and shirt.
And why?
How Why? We will be!

I still remember the feelings of bitterness, despair and hopelessness that encompassed me:

“Mommy, I don’t want to eat clothes!”! to

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №48581
 07.06.2011
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev declared June 6th as the Day of Russian Language. The first comment to the news - "guyy loll".

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №48580
 07.06.2011
The dilemma is that scientists are smart but mostly terrible, athletes are beautiful but mostly stupid.
Find a half-scientist and half-athlete.
Zzz: Half scary and half stupid?? to

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №48579
 07.06.2011
XXX: Anti-plagiarism
xxx: I checked my course on Saturday at the university from the teaching school, where the bases are most complete.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
XXX: showed 30 originalities!
XXX: The Fuck
Tagged: gesture
xxx: in the net on the site shows 60
xxx: it was not easy to do it, I took Medvedev's speech on the net, found it, put it in the word, 25 sheets went well, sent it to check, showed the originality of 45%, clean I know, on this anti-plagiarism we have the president's speech from the bank of referrals downloaded
YYY: ROFL

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №48578
 07.06.2011
If the cat has stopped being afraid of the perforator - it is necessary to bind it with repair.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №48577
 07.06.2011
My friend is a self-critical man. Once we talked about singing, and someone remembered what they said on television: like people without a voice. We hiccalled - without a voice, maybe, and does not happen, but without hearing - to.uya and more. And the friend developed: "Here is my voice, yes. Even the vessels in the movie sound. And by the ears in childhood the herd of begemots ran through. I went there and then back, for loyalty. Yes, if I sing, the dog of Baskerville will be stunned by the peas. And probably twice. The first is from fear, the second is from jealousy.
And so yes! You have not heard how Dymon sings! :)

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №48576
 07.06.2011
I have the feeling that cats when they knock on a person at night stupidly check the living one or not ;-)

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №48575
 07.06.2011
@YankaSyulzhin: A bee came into my room. He opened the window hoping it would fly out. Now I have two bees.

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