bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114439
 06.06.2015
ShLUshka S1u1T
Agripina: When was the last time you had sex?

Agripina
With whom?

ShLUshka S1u1T
clearly

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №114438
 06.06.2015
Tagged with:

> and do not understand that cooling things are not for sale

Do you not understand that you can get sick from the air conditioner and sleep for a week, and from the heat - not? Except that the head hurts, and that - only in the weak and non-wives. Yes, those weak and weak are you.
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Heat stroke - no I did not hear, a thrombus, a heart attack, a stroke - no I don't know...


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114437
 06.06.2015
Once my wife and I threw meat slices into the window to feed the cats, but one day they saw a healthy rat at home and realized that we didn’t feed cats at all. Now throw out the cuts to feed the rat.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №114436
 06.06.2015
I touched the puddle of the eagle,
I switched off several times.
He was hospitalized and lived by the sea.
I took all the heights of happiness.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114435
 06.06.2015
For office hamsters, the norm of SanPin according to the temperature regime: the summer period is 23-25 ° C, and in the winter - 22-24 ° C. In case of deviations above or below, the employee has the right to demand reduction of working time according to the norms. Smoking norms for anyone.
Conditions should be used with the brain and not the yohochu. The maximum reduction should not exceed 5 degrees on board, otherwise welcome to the hospital.
3) It does not belong to anyone. The current is directed strictly into the empty space. There is no possibility - we direct the stream to the top, or we set up a special error (I don't remember the name), which lets the air from the surface.
Give the fool a glass shit, and his hands will cut and he will break.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114434
 06.06.2015
March, shameless, Sasha driving – I don’t drive a car. In the middle of the road, forests run at a terrible speed. Fuck how scary. And Sasha, just a church on the horizon, the wheel throws and let us be baptized. I don’t say anything, I just think: I’m so tolerant! But when in the fog, Sasha began to be baptized on something that turned out to be the indicator of "Vologda region" nearby, I did not stand and maternally insulted the feelings of the believers.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114433
 06.06.2015
The Calendar of Nicholas
Tatiana sees that yesterday
It was no coincidence with her.
Planned sex

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114432
 06.06.2015
Mister: Are you okay? Have you accomplished tomorrow’s task? Have you met Lithuania?
ectd: ha ha, meet me
ectd: I haven’t talked so much about politics in my life))) they just live there with this policy
ectd: and he told me that we have nothing here in Russia, we need to develop the industry for another ten years, in order to feed ourselves a little, or only at the expense of European products and we live.
ectd: and then with pleasure ate a sandwich with Phil's bread, Dagestan cucumbers, sub-Moscow salad, Russian cheese and Mikoyan's sausage))
Ectd: And I started guessing something...

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114431
 05.06.2015
I am interested in a friend (D) how the examination went after the operation on the eye:
D said it was okay. The injection was done, not in the eye, but in the ass.
Have I missed...? O.O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114430
 05.06.2015
Three fingers on the hands.
Carlson to the Flower of the Years
All because he scratches his back.
Starting the engine first.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114429
 05.06.2015
SergeyA: 11.5 hours - a shortened day so shortened
SergeyA: lying, 12.5
SergeyA: Don’t let God get into the lengthy (

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114428
 05.06.2015
To all who are going to survive a nuclear war: end the year without summer and then start discussing the chances of surviving a nuclear war. In 1815, the volcano Tambora erupted on an island in Indonesia. There is only one volcano on some distant islands, Karl! As a result, a huge amount of ash, small particles, was released into the atmosphere, which began to spread around the world. The result was a drop in Earth’s temperature by 0.5 degrees – and the following year was the coldest in the 19th century in Europe and North America. Half-degree - sounds like innocent, but in England and the States the peasants were left without harvest, the strongest famine in the entire 19th century began, and in India due to the change of weather began a cholera epidemic.
In the event of a nuclear war, much more dust will rise into the air, in different forecasts, a drop in temperature is expected to be up to 3 degrees on the planet, which in practice means that much of the territory of Russia will be unfit for life. And I’m not talking about the fact that industrial centers will be hit, where there is stored a tueva of chlorine, ammonia, oil and other poisonous hernia, which will be released in the event of an explosion.
The only regions where life will survive 10 years after the attack are Australia, South Africa and South America. It is not a fact.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №114427
 05.06.2015
In Chelyabinsk, the ability to cut a gopnik from two strikes is called "on-the-technology".

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №114426
 05.06.2015
I went with a friend to a cafe to sit, the husband at home alone, I write to him after a drink-the other:
- Friday evening, you must have been guided while I am not there?)))
and canine!
Tell them that the washed curtains should be licked and hanged, at least for some benefit.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114425
 05.06.2015
Regarding Hospitals
A child fell ill with one of our employees, she sat with him in the hospital.
And in our office, hospitals are not welcomed, they don't talk about anything, but they strike to the sick constantly and not in the case.

Sitting with the baby, they are treated and do not know that at work, this is horror! The investigation has begun to determine whether the hospital card has been purchased.
The staff went to the semi-clinic with this question, the deer was sent to the moon on foot.
Someone of the bad women, who in any office do not count, saw the same employee in the pharmacy and jumped to work with the news that she is not treating the child, and shuffles in the shops, and went to the pharmacy to take away the eyes, apparently a hospital bought.

even a sick man on his head and he said that the grandmothers here do not see their borders.
The pictures, the sea.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114424
 05.06.2015
I sit, I work, I sing a song like we go on the field with a horse. From the room, the wife says, Oh, how well the song is sung on the radio. Maybe I didn’t go to the choir?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114423
 05.06.2015
Some reports are eloquent: the trouble is not that schoolchildren have started holidays, but that they have gadgets. The flow of their dim consciousness turned into a stream of concentrated nonsense.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114422
 05.06.2015
And then why are schoolchildren not called self-sufficient young people who can do without a partner?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114421
 05.06.2015
On the evening of the day, I stayed at work alone, frozen and put a condom to heat up.
The next morning a colleague, as always, became hot, he turned on the condy and worked under it for 10 minutes, completely satisfied, until I said that the condy is working in the heating mode, exposed to +27, and I am already hot)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114420
 05.06.2015
It is necessary or not to communicate with sellers, waitresses and neighbors on the plateau. People, you have fallen from the moon, what, about what at all? What you need is to understand non-verbal (and sometimes verbal) signals about whether a particular person wants to shake with you or not. Someone will pick up the question, and it will fall, and someone will answer unambiguously, if they answer at all - and you should already understand everything. Stop talking about spherical sellers in the vacuum - people are all different.

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