Matan teaching,driving out a man with spurs from the exam: not learning to use spurs by the 4th semester is an obvious sign of stupidity)

XXX: How old is she?
yyy: She is already at the age when even such a goblin as Anton is a cute boy for her.

A puppet from France writes (learns there)
Yesterday I went to Subway Sandwich for the first time.
ZIK: Do you know that?
You can pick up your own sandwich.
ZIK: I briefly gathered the Azerbaijani shaurma there

We have lagged behind the West even in illnesses... they have an unknown cucumbers, and we have cholera - a traditional disease of the early 19th century.

Allen Carr on Quitting Smoking:
Those whose first cigarette caused rejection, whose lungs could not physically cope with it - lucky, they are cured from smoking for a lifetime. In other words, they are not prepared to go through the harsh process of learning to learn to smoke without coughing.

And I, fucking strong, I could (((

How tired of life offended people with a complex of inferiority. A circle full of men, who can hardly be called men, full of women, who, even if they were men, should have come together properly! You have a vagina or a member, you have to be a man! The man! Respect yourself and respect others! Stop dirting each other!

We work in technical support, dialogue:
Am I hearing badly?
Subscriber: I can hear it! I think badly.

stranger
<xxx> A friend of mine asked me to see something.
<xxx> With him were Haruki, Horus, Code Giass, LakiStar and Evangelion.
<xxx> In short, I have this question:
<xxx> How to tell him that he can’t give up now? >_<"
Jah Town
When I bought you my first frey
Jah Town
They asked me, are you sure?
Jah Town
I am a gift.
Jah Town
You are cruel to me.
stranger
Yippidy yi yi yippity yay.

Khabarovsk, on TV program "Situation": "The man got a burn of the retina of the eye, as he admired a quartz lamp, which, according to him, radiated amazing beauty light".

Pavel> Why does coffee smell?
Paul> STOP! Why does something smell?! to
Pavel> What, my nose was suffocating?

Admin: You won’t believe it! But I will prove it, and when you see it, you will believe it, you will be convinced.
Support: What happened?
It all started when I had a dream. Call with twenty-fourth, they say that they have RAID bed, and synchronously on all servants. I hurry to dress up, grab the car keys and already in the elevator pretend that I will not be there before 2 o’clock. And on the mobile phone are already sober calls from all organizations, asking for clarifications. I am ready to swear that in my dream I experienced a tactile feeling, like a drop of sweat on my forehead! Then I woke up. He no longer slept. In the morning I started gathering, and I have a thread of gray hair on my right whisky. Really! Thick in the finger! This is not a beetle, I checked it out. I am only 30 years old!!! to

From comments to the entry in the ZH about the inclusion of peanut in the list of narcotic substances:

CCHR:...interesting, and Onishchenko did not try to distinguish drug substances permissible... from shit. Or I’ll send him a three-litre bowl... let him smoke.

Yaya: I do not have to. The shit is forbidden.

Yesterday I decided to go to sleep... ahah! by Shivan! What fools on bikes with a removed damper hunted here through the village until 3 o'clock!!!! to
I think I’m beginning to understand those funny cave guys from Star Wars...so that’s why they’re shooting rifle riders!

I went to the neighboring department today. There was a five-year-old girl, the daughter of an employee, sitting there, holding a book on her knees, reading/telling a fairy tale about a princess, a castle and a dragon. All would be nothing, only when she picked up the book, I saw the title - "Comments to the Labor Code of the Russian Federation". This is the child’s imagination.

Vegetables: One in the field is not a warrior.
Zipman: One in the forest is not a bad partisan.

Announcement of sale of the car:

P.S The car was beating, painted, smoked, drank and mocked in the cabin! Please adequately estimate the year and price.

Implementation of Win7.
In technical support was born a new question to the user: -Do you have a start button round or rectangular?

I ask my wife what she wants in bed.
The answer is to sleep!

And all because looking at the pictures of fantasy beauties, especially if they are depicted in the middle of a snowburn, or in the forest, I first think: Yaman, and her neck is fully opened, and her ass is naked. And angina and cystitis do not sleep :-((

Epic File
I decided to buy a new phone, and decided to run around the shops, drop prices, etc. I looked at one of them smartphone and decided to check how it works at all, inserted my SIM card there and safely forgot. I went to another store and then the electricity shadowed me that I left the simka in the phone. I went to the store and said:
I have forgotten (O_O with such eyes)
This is why all the staff of the shop start hysterically (epic fail rofl, etc.)=(
Here is a call from a manager:
Where is my sim? I sold my simic!!! to
Then it was my turn to crack =)