bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!
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Comment quote №98753
03.06.2014
Strangled with various Skyrim fashion, improving the appearance of trees and grasses, he eventually spit and went for a walk in the forest. I recommend.
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Comment quote №98752
03.06.2014
It’s stupid to expect someone to come and do it for you. Until you catch and force, no one moves a finger.
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Comment quote №98751
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Comment quote №98751
03.06.2014
Apocalypse of being.
In my life there are a few unresolved questions (apories) over which I am not tired of breaking my head. For example, why in the mirror the right from the left change places, and the top with the bottom is not? Or why can't a goat be cooked in its mother's milk?(Exodus 23:19 and 34:26; Deuteronomy 14:21) This is not to say that the mouth is filled with saliva when it comes to the thought of a milk-cooked goat, but I would like to know why? to pass? Or are the goats going out? In the fairy tale, everything is clear-do not drink from the cockroach - you will become a goat. From the tank tape, the dryer is not dampened, and then you will be deaf and iron. There is a mist and guess. Also, for example, I am absolutely unclear why my mother did not suffocate me even in the cradle.
I’t have gone by in their place.
One of my uncles (called Cole) hasn’t spoken to me since I was 6 years old. We will celebrate the 40th anniversary of the boycott. He says he doesn’t want to see what has grown out of such a pascua. I was left with my uncle and aunt for a week.
My uncle was wicked, that is, wicked. My aunt’s husband. He worked as a master at the factory. A simple Russian man. I liked a borst with puppets under a whiteboard for lunch. It was a weakness for which his aunt struck him. I decided to help.I took and poured out the water, replacing the water from under the crane. Now, then, I understand what a man is experiencing, who, having already smelled the borst, left his mouth full of saliva, poured out of his fatigue a drink, moisturized his eyes in an anticipation, pulled... and there water... from a frog... Aunt whispered like a knotted. My uncle spit and came out of the table. It delighted me untoldly and I did not stop at what was achieved. Uncle Cole moved to Port-Vine. A risky decision. In his absence, I broke my head for a short time in search of a liquid of a similar color. Something similar came out of two glasses of manganese and a bowl of green, broken in the water. The uncle drank a glass and disinfected for 10 years. The effect exceeded all expectations. For a few minutes I turned a relative into a fountain fire extinguisher. Traces of the eruption on the ceiling survived decades and two repairs. In the place of my uncle, I would have done everything I could. The court would justify him, I am sure.
In later years, the scale of bullying and bullying has only increased.
When I was a kid, i.e. I came out of puppetry and became a foolish, the homeland equipped my homeland for a foreign country.
I could not be taken to the bourgeoisie by the rules. In order not to absorb the spirits of the West and not to separate himself from the mother-mother motherland.
The patriarch of the family-grandmother Olympia Stepanovna of 1894 was discharged from the village. The last branch of my family tree, which the sons of Israel did not scratch.
The old lady was iron, kept the whole family in fear almost from the Stolypin reform. The mood was steep, the health of the horse, the speed for trial and execution.
In this way, the disobedient spouses were usually frightened and they instantly became quiet and affectionate, like castrated cats.
After consultation, my family decided that this was the only remedy against me. and what? Lipa unknowns until 60 years of age traveled around, the Tomilin militia was locked from the inside when she approached, so that she does not break the rotting roof. ha ha!
Yes, from her harassment in the 18th, the commissioner escaped and the village remained without Soviet power for six months.
However, “pressure class beats,” as the horses say. At first, Stepanovna’s Olympics turned me into a baron’s horn. I had never encountered such a large personality before.
At first, she took all the girls out of the house. It was worth to lock up in her room with the lady, as the sluggish grandmother began to knock the door and scream, "What do you think, I don't remember what you are doing there!"
The whole house was overwhelmed by her friends, whom she ruled strictly but fairly. The house slowly turned into a farmhouse. The old ladies were roying day and night, constantly asking questions, advising them to study well, listen to their grandmother and not drink vodka. Sharing experiences and diagnoses.
I was positionally upset, but lost the war completely.
For example, one day my grandmother went out in the morning complaining of a headache. It should be noted that the Olympic was a deadly sick man aged 50 years old.
During this terrible illness, she spent the last trip with eight of her local therapists and old friends without account. The funeral ran joyfully excited - for her it was the character of a sports competition. Each win is another victory. At the same time, at the age of 85, she brought me a 80-kilograms bar that I pulled home. Lipa reached almost a hundred years old and until the last days retained the vigour of the spirit and the inclination of the disposition.
At the same time, she properly took the mountains of pills from everything. Every day she had something new.
That day the sickness took over the head. Lippa drank the wheels and tightened the usual non-patriotic song, blaspheming the domestic pharmaceutical industry. "Pill fucking no help, here before..."
I have agreed:
The best remedy for a headache is guillotine.
and chao?
What is Chavo?
How did you call?
and guillotine.
And what, does it help?
And yet how! Once and cut off! For a lifetime!
The imports, right?
Not my French.
The next day, the Olympics almost got flesh from flesh.
It turns out that she went to the pharmacy and demanded a guillotine there from a headache. The provider, breathing from the hollow, tried to explain that it was not at the address. How is it! The grandmother organized a wild violence, accusing them of corruption and inhumanity:
What is? They sold them, right? My grandmother is old, go! Not ashamed?
And so on...
But something had to be done. I have already disappeared from the home of the elderly, these mausoleums and mausoleums have dreamed of me even at night. The only time they didn’t roam in the house was a compulsory run around the houses to watch the Mexican series “The Rich Also Cry” Then they gathered together again and discussed what they saw and heard. The characters of the series were washed as close relatives - long, carefully with pleasure. This is where my devil’s plan of dispeling this coward was ripped up.
A bit of prehistory.
Imported parents handed over to the domestic offspring an unthinkable at the time luxury television with remote control and a video magnetophone (both HITACHI) Vidak then met in Soviet apartments a little more often than synchrophasatron. Many even doubted his existence.
Grandma, for example, simply refused to believe in him. It cannot be all here.
I quickly strained some semi-criminal connections and arranged the exchange of VHS cassettes (then they were not purchased, but exchanged) Somehow I was drawn to a planted and suspiciously smelling concentrated passion cassette with an unprecedented porn.
In full space, I discovered that one of the asses shaking in the screen belongs to the main character of the series, Veronica Castro.
I did not think long. Five minutes before my grandmother’s compulsory viewing of the rich’s tears, I started the bullshit and plundered at the door with a distash in my hands.
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah We went!
In the room a wooden knock broke out, and the insert jaw jumped over the parquet. I knocked under the door. At the end of the day, it was nice to see my grandmother. She made the impression of a man who suddenly reached enlightenment. Her jaw walked on the sidewalk, her eyes turned in different directions. Soon, a support group arrived and the old clowns used to hang out, discussing the difficult existence of overseas dons and gentlemen. The grandmother turned her wild eyes from one speaker to another and seemed not to hear them.
She is a parachutist! Olympiad Stepanovna envyed, sprinkling with saliva of goods.
A dead silence.
Who is? The most courageous asked.
Mariana Villarreal de Salvatierra is cheap. It was wrapped there by a man who was not lazy.
Later, the Olympics in an accessible form brought what was seen to the grateful listeners. I was surprised to find that in addition to a modest girl from a noble family, she recognized in the rest of the participants of the feast of the flesh and other actors of the series.
“She was joking with Luis Alberto and Leonardo!” oraled Lipa, and even after that, like him, fell down. Father Adrian gave it.
The grandmother looked.
“Our regiment is gone” was read in their eyes. Lipu tried to calm, but she, feeling the false affection in the voices, cried out louder. The old lady struck the door.
I wore it under a blanket in the neighboring room.
On this council of the elders in our house ordered to live long. One, the most faithful, came like that, pretended to believe, they sat down to look at the unnecessary, Lippa condemned, right now, say, wait...but everything was noble. Until my girlfriend went to the toilet. Lipa triumphantly rattled, knocked out the door, kicked the neighbor from the toilet, turned to the TV...and froze...On the screen, the usual truck again stretched. A neighbor, as she was, with her feet in her lowered underwear broke out of the house.
Over time, my grandmother and I accepted each other’s existence. She recognized me equal and benevolent. When I wrapped her wheelchair, Lippa made me a favourite and did not allow anyone to hide her grandson in her presence.
more frequently entered.
I come home and hear one of my passions, Past Continuous, beating Mafusailche. I was blue, shattered and dropped, so I did.
Lipa (pumping in a chair with a cup of coffee-through the smoke exhalation of belomorine)
I don’t understand you, Katie. I will not understand! So you are sad? by Chavo Kobilissi? You are a young girl, you can check it out.
I slipped on the wall...
Thanks for attention.
In my life there are a few unresolved questions (apories) over which I am not tired of breaking my head. For example, why in the mirror the right from the left change places, and the top with the bottom is not? Or why can't a goat be cooked in its mother's milk?(Exodus 23:19 and 34:26; Deuteronomy 14:21) This is not to say that the mouth is filled with saliva when it comes to the thought of a milk-cooked goat, but I would like to know why? to pass? Or are the goats going out? In the fairy tale, everything is clear-do not drink from the cockroach - you will become a goat. From the tank tape, the dryer is not dampened, and then you will be deaf and iron. There is a mist and guess. Also, for example, I am absolutely unclear why my mother did not suffocate me even in the cradle.
I’t have gone by in their place.
One of my uncles (called Cole) hasn’t spoken to me since I was 6 years old. We will celebrate the 40th anniversary of the boycott. He says he doesn’t want to see what has grown out of such a pascua. I was left with my uncle and aunt for a week.
My uncle was wicked, that is, wicked. My aunt’s husband. He worked as a master at the factory. A simple Russian man. I liked a borst with puppets under a whiteboard for lunch. It was a weakness for which his aunt struck him. I decided to help.I took and poured out the water, replacing the water from under the crane. Now, then, I understand what a man is experiencing, who, having already smelled the borst, left his mouth full of saliva, poured out of his fatigue a drink, moisturized his eyes in an anticipation, pulled... and there water... from a frog... Aunt whispered like a knotted. My uncle spit and came out of the table. It delighted me untoldly and I did not stop at what was achieved. Uncle Cole moved to Port-Vine. A risky decision. In his absence, I broke my head for a short time in search of a liquid of a similar color. Something similar came out of two glasses of manganese and a bowl of green, broken in the water. The uncle drank a glass and disinfected for 10 years. The effect exceeded all expectations. For a few minutes I turned a relative into a fountain fire extinguisher. Traces of the eruption on the ceiling survived decades and two repairs. In the place of my uncle, I would have done everything I could. The court would justify him, I am sure.
In later years, the scale of bullying and bullying has only increased.
When I was a kid, i.e. I came out of puppetry and became a foolish, the homeland equipped my homeland for a foreign country.
I could not be taken to the bourgeoisie by the rules. In order not to absorb the spirits of the West and not to separate himself from the mother-mother motherland.
The patriarch of the family-grandmother Olympia Stepanovna of 1894 was discharged from the village. The last branch of my family tree, which the sons of Israel did not scratch.
The old lady was iron, kept the whole family in fear almost from the Stolypin reform. The mood was steep, the health of the horse, the speed for trial and execution.
In this way, the disobedient spouses were usually frightened and they instantly became quiet and affectionate, like castrated cats.
After consultation, my family decided that this was the only remedy against me. and what? Lipa unknowns until 60 years of age traveled around, the Tomilin militia was locked from the inside when she approached, so that she does not break the rotting roof. ha ha!
Yes, from her harassment in the 18th, the commissioner escaped and the village remained without Soviet power for six months.
However, “pressure class beats,” as the horses say. At first, Stepanovna’s Olympics turned me into a baron’s horn. I had never encountered such a large personality before.
At first, she took all the girls out of the house. It was worth to lock up in her room with the lady, as the sluggish grandmother began to knock the door and scream, "What do you think, I don't remember what you are doing there!"
The whole house was overwhelmed by her friends, whom she ruled strictly but fairly. The house slowly turned into a farmhouse. The old ladies were roying day and night, constantly asking questions, advising them to study well, listen to their grandmother and not drink vodka. Sharing experiences and diagnoses.
I was positionally upset, but lost the war completely.
For example, one day my grandmother went out in the morning complaining of a headache. It should be noted that the Olympic was a deadly sick man aged 50 years old.
During this terrible illness, she spent the last trip with eight of her local therapists and old friends without account. The funeral ran joyfully excited - for her it was the character of a sports competition. Each win is another victory. At the same time, at the age of 85, she brought me a 80-kilograms bar that I pulled home. Lipa reached almost a hundred years old and until the last days retained the vigour of the spirit and the inclination of the disposition.
At the same time, she properly took the mountains of pills from everything. Every day she had something new.
That day the sickness took over the head. Lippa drank the wheels and tightened the usual non-patriotic song, blaspheming the domestic pharmaceutical industry. "Pill fucking no help, here before..."
I have agreed:
The best remedy for a headache is guillotine.
and chao?
What is Chavo?
How did you call?
and guillotine.
And what, does it help?
And yet how! Once and cut off! For a lifetime!
The imports, right?
Not my French.
The next day, the Olympics almost got flesh from flesh.
It turns out that she went to the pharmacy and demanded a guillotine there from a headache. The provider, breathing from the hollow, tried to explain that it was not at the address. How is it! The grandmother organized a wild violence, accusing them of corruption and inhumanity:
What is? They sold them, right? My grandmother is old, go! Not ashamed?
And so on...
But something had to be done. I have already disappeared from the home of the elderly, these mausoleums and mausoleums have dreamed of me even at night. The only time they didn’t roam in the house was a compulsory run around the houses to watch the Mexican series “The Rich Also Cry” Then they gathered together again and discussed what they saw and heard. The characters of the series were washed as close relatives - long, carefully with pleasure. This is where my devil’s plan of dispeling this coward was ripped up.
A bit of prehistory.
Imported parents handed over to the domestic offspring an unthinkable at the time luxury television with remote control and a video magnetophone (both HITACHI) Vidak then met in Soviet apartments a little more often than synchrophasatron. Many even doubted his existence.
Grandma, for example, simply refused to believe in him. It cannot be all here.
I quickly strained some semi-criminal connections and arranged the exchange of VHS cassettes (then they were not purchased, but exchanged) Somehow I was drawn to a planted and suspiciously smelling concentrated passion cassette with an unprecedented porn.
In full space, I discovered that one of the asses shaking in the screen belongs to the main character of the series, Veronica Castro.
I did not think long. Five minutes before my grandmother’s compulsory viewing of the rich’s tears, I started the bullshit and plundered at the door with a distash in my hands.
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah We went!
In the room a wooden knock broke out, and the insert jaw jumped over the parquet. I knocked under the door. At the end of the day, it was nice to see my grandmother. She made the impression of a man who suddenly reached enlightenment. Her jaw walked on the sidewalk, her eyes turned in different directions. Soon, a support group arrived and the old clowns used to hang out, discussing the difficult existence of overseas dons and gentlemen. The grandmother turned her wild eyes from one speaker to another and seemed not to hear them.
She is a parachutist! Olympiad Stepanovna envyed, sprinkling with saliva of goods.
A dead silence.
Who is? The most courageous asked.
Mariana Villarreal de Salvatierra is cheap. It was wrapped there by a man who was not lazy.
Later, the Olympics in an accessible form brought what was seen to the grateful listeners. I was surprised to find that in addition to a modest girl from a noble family, she recognized in the rest of the participants of the feast of the flesh and other actors of the series.
“She was joking with Luis Alberto and Leonardo!” oraled Lipa, and even after that, like him, fell down. Father Adrian gave it.
The grandmother looked.
“Our regiment is gone” was read in their eyes. Lipu tried to calm, but she, feeling the false affection in the voices, cried out louder. The old lady struck the door.
I wore it under a blanket in the neighboring room.
On this council of the elders in our house ordered to live long. One, the most faithful, came like that, pretended to believe, they sat down to look at the unnecessary, Lippa condemned, right now, say, wait...but everything was noble. Until my girlfriend went to the toilet. Lipa triumphantly rattled, knocked out the door, kicked the neighbor from the toilet, turned to the TV...and froze...On the screen, the usual truck again stretched. A neighbor, as she was, with her feet in her lowered underwear broke out of the house.
Over time, my grandmother and I accepted each other’s existence. She recognized me equal and benevolent. When I wrapped her wheelchair, Lippa made me a favourite and did not allow anyone to hide her grandson in her presence.
more frequently entered.
I come home and hear one of my passions, Past Continuous, beating Mafusailche. I was blue, shattered and dropped, so I did.
Lipa (pumping in a chair with a cup of coffee-through the smoke exhalation of belomorine)
I don’t understand you, Katie. I will not understand! So you are sad? by Chavo Kobilissi? You are a young girl, you can check it out.
I slipped on the wall...
Thanks for attention.
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Comment quote №98750
03.06.2014
At the exam, the student Sidorov unexpectedly pulled out a military ticket for himself.
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Comment quote №98749
03.06.2014
If I lived in another universe, I would have had a handheld magical dragon bodyguard!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
A princess with 5 sized breasts. No fucking brains.
Yyy: There is no such thing in any universe.
xxx: So the last item can be removed)
XXX: And indeed... Chat was blown up...
Tagged: xd
xxx: That is, the dragon is more real than a girl who doesn’t have a brain?
YYY : Yes!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
A princess with 5 sized breasts. No fucking brains.
Yyy: There is no such thing in any universe.
xxx: So the last item can be removed)
XXX: And indeed... Chat was blown up...
Tagged: xd
xxx: That is, the dragon is more real than a girl who doesn’t have a brain?
YYY : Yes!
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Comment quote №98748
03.06.2014
Doctors note the strange desire of patients with iron deficiency anemia to eat toothpaste, mill, coal, soil, ice. The need to smell gasoline, exhaust gases, fresh printing paint, whitening is also a reason to check the hemoglobin level.
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Comment quote №98747
03.06.2014
I am allergic to life. Symptoms: regular drowsiness, periodic cough and rhinitis, hair loss, aging...
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Comment quote №98746
03.06.2014
And today in the trauma point, the grandmother came to the registry and said "You know, today the nuts fell on me...". Everything turned around... "... in the sense of a tree."
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Comment quote №98745
03.06.2014
News - "Japan is building a ice wall around Fukushima-1"
Now I know where the white walkers came from.
Now I know where the white walkers came from.
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Comment quote №98744
03.06.2014
Discussion of water heating, one of the tips on how to get hot water
The option 3:
The washing machine. No need for ha-ha. You are not a heater. Set up for 60th. We have 40 out. have enabled. Wait until the drum "wipe" begins. So the heat has reached. We insert the leake in the slide slive. We wash and turn off.
Heat the water up to 90. We go into the pond and take a bowl.
The option 3:
The washing machine. No need for ha-ha. You are not a heater. Set up for 60th. We have 40 out. have enabled. Wait until the drum "wipe" begins. So the heat has reached. We insert the leake in the slide slive. We wash and turn off.
Heat the water up to 90. We go into the pond and take a bowl.
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Comment quote №98743
03.06.2014
My friend and I were 12 years old when a friend’s father decided to take us fishing. Uncle Fedor is a single father and he was looking for a new mother for his son. In short, another promising madmuazelka went on a trip with us. I didn't like her - she whispered silently about some nonsense until her gaze struck the magnet. She also rotated the station for a long time, the drum, under her nose something about the "round" with the "dumb". Until I encountered a purely specific pop of the species "susimusiсюsipusi".
I still remember perfectly how the blood was poured over the neck of Fedi's uncle, a former motorcyclist and a brutal man in general, all his youth rushing through the former USSR... He barbed in front of his eyes, and we and a friend, knowing that the usual calm and balanced man, this means the extreme degree of exaggeration of the appearance - "Don't get in - I will kill," quietly pressed into the back seat of the car.
The girl didn’t notice at first, singing on the radio... But when she turned around... Imagine briefly the face of a man who was near a nuclear reactor a minute before the explosion. It was the same o-ce-pe-ni-e when a person is even afraid to blink. She quickly understood what was the cause and, judging by the scratching hand, rushed to turn off the unfortunate drum, but the spirit was not enough to even move to prevent the disaster.
It all ended well, simultaneously with the end of the song and the voice of the host - "And now it is time to release the steam and relax!"
I still remember perfectly how the blood was poured over the neck of Fedi's uncle, a former motorcyclist and a brutal man in general, all his youth rushing through the former USSR... He barbed in front of his eyes, and we and a friend, knowing that the usual calm and balanced man, this means the extreme degree of exaggeration of the appearance - "Don't get in - I will kill," quietly pressed into the back seat of the car.
The girl didn’t notice at first, singing on the radio... But when she turned around... Imagine briefly the face of a man who was near a nuclear reactor a minute before the explosion. It was the same o-ce-pe-ni-e when a person is even afraid to blink. She quickly understood what was the cause and, judging by the scratching hand, rushed to turn off the unfortunate drum, but the spirit was not enough to even move to prevent the disaster.
It all ended well, simultaneously with the end of the song and the voice of the host - "And now it is time to release the steam and relax!"
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Comment quote №98742
03.06.2014
The closer the protection of the diploma, the more temptation to finish the report with the words "The presentation you saw shows that I know how to use PowerPoint"
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Comment quote №98741
03.06.2014
In connection with the current selfie fashion, I had a persistent suspicion that some Nokia 808 Selfie Edition would soon appear (the main camera is 2MP, the front is 40MP).
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Comment quote №98740
03.06.2014
xxx: today was born beautiful, to the wrath of the day, you can say..."depressive conference"
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Comment quote №98739
03.06.2014
Sub-Moscow drug barons forced a computer to cook “branded” amphetamine.
At the site of drug production FSKN was found a computer, several appliances for heating cylinders, artificial lighting lamps, as well as industrial electronic weights and electronic timer. Control of the equipment during production was carried out with the help of a computer program that turned on and off the light, regulated the temperature, and so on. All this eventually gave the possibility to “cook” amphetamine around the clock without any human involvement.
The commentary:
It was necessary to put a scheme in the opensor, which is good to disappear.
At the site of drug production FSKN was found a computer, several appliances for heating cylinders, artificial lighting lamps, as well as industrial electronic weights and electronic timer. Control of the equipment during production was carried out with the help of a computer program that turned on and off the light, regulated the temperature, and so on. All this eventually gave the possibility to “cook” amphetamine around the clock without any human involvement.
The commentary:
It was necessary to put a scheme in the opensor, which is good to disappear.
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Comment quote №98738
03.06.2014
XXX is live. In Savoie gave a card of the permanent customer
Someone has platinum mastercards by the age of 30, and I have a sabvei card.
Someone has platinum mastercards by the age of 30, and I have a sabvei card.
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Comment quote №98737
]
Comment quote №98737
02.06.2014
In the news "In the Urals GIBDD instead of the bobs decided to punish officials"
To go crazy, this is what kind of bonds and babies in the Ural Bobr, that they even rejected GIBDD.
To go crazy, this is what kind of bonds and babies in the Ural Bobr, that they even rejected GIBDD.
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Comment quote №98736
02.06.2014
As for sound – the human ear is unable to distinguish a copper audio cable of proper quality from gold.
Bro, you have set the beginning of a new mess here that will obscure everything that has been before!
Bro, you have set the beginning of a new mess here that will obscure everything that has been before!
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Comment quote №98735
02.06.2014
I walk with my son (5 years old), around the runway, a buoy gopnik is sent straight to the road.As I thought, how would he point to the unacceptability of such behavior, the son of Wangka-"and if he pulls heavily, he will run faster?"The guy didn't even write, it seems....
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Comment quote №98734
02.06.2014
Are there self-defense courses for cats? Krishtoff came so beaten and scratched that I went to the hospital to take him all day :(
YYY: So he came from them.
YYY: So he came from them.