bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98733
 02.06.2014
Please bring to all employees that before applying to the bank for a loan, they must first call the human resources department and clarify in which company and in what position they work.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №98732
 02.06.2014
xxx: I now know what the technical part of the Cisco ASA product line marketing policy is based on.
This is Stockholm Syndrome!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98731
 02.06.2014
My husband often goes on business trips for a long time. I wanted to give him something original so he’t miss it. I went to sexshop. Seller (P) two teachers of younger classes in retirement.
I: I need something small, travel, my husband as a gift.
Q: Now, unfortunately, we have few vaginoses, only two models, not very interesting, China...But there is a very large selection of penises. There is simple latex. Vibrant phalloimitators, anal, are with several modes, different colors and sizes. Here you look.
I: Yes, I have my husband as a gift.
Q: We have it in the gift packaging!

No scene...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98730
 02.06.2014
MB: an additional dimension for the broad Russian soul

I read and thought:
It is that, it turns out, in the wasted west, the soul is curved to the length of Planck, and in Russia - unfolds?
What a great space for science!

told a acquaintance. He replied that we have long been exploiting the teleport and the time machine (but for now only ahead). It works on ethanol.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98729
 02.06.2014
Talk about hiring new employees.
I've been trying 5 years to ask the secretary. :)
YYY : YYYYYYYY? However, as soon as Zzz asked for Stepler, he immediately got it.
Tagged: life pain

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №98728
 02.06.2014
I change curtains for curtains and think: what idiot used wooden hats instead of normal dumbels to fix supports. In two weeks I tried a bunch of different dumbels from plastic to metal; the diameter of the hole increased from 4 to 12 mm, the depth - to 100 mm but the gardin persistently did not want to hang exactly; today I bought a new pack of powerful dumbels with nuclear screws, spent another two hours... Now I took a knife, pulled out a wooden rod two blades, killed with a hammer - and it just hangs, infection.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98727
 02.06.2014
xxx: I will buy myself a monoblock for 27", I will be like a king on the couch sitting at the other end of the room and dragging the mead
yyy: you overestimate the size of 27"
You overestimate my room.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98726
 02.06.2014
Google’s driverless car:
MB: The elevator is one dimension.
MB: The road in three dimensions, the complexity of analysis grows roughly in cubes.
MB: hills, road slopes, birds, bridges, people and other obstacles are all 3D
Will Google deliver its miracle to Russia?
MB: there immediately 4D will need to calculate
MB: an additional dimension for the broad Russian soul

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98725
 02.06.2014
I returned home with a big drink. I want to eat. I don't want to burn before my mother-in-law, and therefore, in the total dark, I cut off a piece of bread, in the refrigerator I see a large bowl with the inscription "Tomato pasta", I pour on bread, thick salt.
Have you ever eaten a butter of bread with mold, with thick pomegranate strawberries?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98724
 02.06.2014
Spain's King Juan Carlos abdicated from the throne.
Is it in Rostov already?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98723
 02.06.2014
Local Chat

111. here would screen the worm of Jim...
222. who is in the main role?? to
333 Who is in charge? Worms in the scarf!? to
...
and 444. Handless

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98722
 02.06.2014
The BGG:
It reminded me of a joke about a cat who ate a plastic bag.
===
Here’s the generation who has grown up who doesn’t know what quote number 191 is. Only 10 years have passed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98721
 02.06.2014
I write to admin about the bag on the website:

Yoh : Yoh
Would you Fklo?
Hello to you :)
I mean the fklo ?
That’s how you write the code ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98720
 02.06.2014
I noticed:
Added to:
xxx: However, the series Ukraine and completely overshadowed Game of Thrones.

As a local, I will say: Unfortunately, the leaders of the ruling houses are rarely killed.

Winter is not beyond the mountains.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №98719
 02.06.2014
Sally (14:16) :
Anya so much wanted to get into the gym that a little strained, pushed the door away and the door opened...

Sally (14:16) :
Usually she opened up to herself.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98718
 02.06.2014
and Siberia. We sit in the office in jackets, discussing the morning snow with the grade. Do you think it is winter? Almost the 2nd of June.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98717
 02.06.2014
Yesterday cracked))) went to the local district center to the store, there on the door of the store an advertisement (there is no slide):
The entrance to the store is forbidden for dachniks in bombie costumes":)))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98716
 02.06.2014
xxx: fuck, freelancer is such a shit
xxx: you need to work, but you do not want to work and you can not work, but you need to work >_<

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98715
 02.06.2014
As Comrade Ghost said, artificial intelligence will never beat the natural, because the computer always plays according to the rules, and man - only if there is no other way out.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98714
 02.06.2014
Dimag
I sell a protected garage of 27 m²
Garage metal assembly of sheets (thickness 4 mm) 4,5 x 6. of self-driving. Urgently!! to

Maximum@
Why write that it is protected if it needs to be removed?

Zingelshuher
It must be carried out so that the guards do not notice.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna