Playing with a child (10 years old) in hiding.
Child (D): Now is your turn to hide!
I: I have nowhere to hide.
D: Let me close my ears and tell you where they are hiding.
He closes his ears and whispers to me where he is going to hide.

I knew there was something wrong here, but for a long time I couldn’t understand exactly what the bottom line was.

With Habr, discussing the iPad as a second monitor:

Noopik: I don’t see any particular practical application of this =)
Andorro: The point is to find a practical application for the iPad :)
Valyard: At least anyway!!! 1

The more the course, the less Google knows.

xxx: news "American stole 339 DVDs with pornography"
That’s why there’s no inertia.

The xxx:
And, in my opinion, everything is right... country Russia, so the language should not be Russian but Russian by the logic of things.
Russian was in Russian.
YYYY :
The school detective. Why does the female cow have a cow and the male a bull and not a cow?
and ZZZ:
Don’t talk about this, Fursenko, please.

XXX is:
Chelyabinsk Surov - the building of the regional FSB - the fence is grid-shaped, but closed with metal plates. There was a hole – I looked at it – interesting. The village sort.

Alan: Where are you?
ShadDoran: When I eat I am deaf and dumb
AlanF: I’m not asking you to whine.
AlanF: just press these square buttons

we sit with a friend in the country, about 20 minutes of silence, in the room about 5 people
11 – Oh well... silence...
22: Let’s talk about it!

Somebody is chewing shit! It smells like this, or it burns.

(18:15:27) Semenov Sergey: question at the seminar
Prepod asks: is it possible to make bmc [block microcommand] on AZU (AZU - associative memory device)?
My friend:— No, I guess it is not possible.
—Please be sure. And why?
(18:15:30) Semenov Sergey: Comrade replied:— well, probably because AZU is such a meat dish
(18:15:58) broken angel: O_o)))
(18:16:14) Semenov Sergei: the priest promised him a Nobel Prize :D

An employee from another department has left for a long-awaited vacation from today. In the morning, in the morning, I write to her:
Good morning, how are you resting?
Come and see how I am resting. Take the sugar!

Galina Petrovna, let Olya go on vacation!

by Nokia
I just downloaded from the airport from my cell phone and texted. In 20 minutes I will fly, sorry, to Pisa.

Lexus
Oh! Leonid, since this is the case, I have a small and not overwhelming request.
You couldn’t take a picture of a very fat person there, even a local (well, or looking like a local).
The fact is that I’ve always dreamed of seeing a picture that would really be Full Pizza.

Lola
guys, I don't remember which team, the song about the extent such a fun popsovienka sounded at the end of the greeting... no one knows what the song?)) thanks in advance

Yumaristic
2 Lola
Unknown Artist - Track 1

RoZoWiJ J@GON: I’m going to go.
J@Gon: Donate blood from your ass
Babin: Why is it?
J@GON: Fuck I wrote)))))))))))
RoZzoWiJ J@GON: you need to take blood from the nose to pass the exam))
ROZZZOWIJ J@GON: so I look)

From Contact:

Camila: Waan, help me)))
Surprise to a loved one, for a year of relationship, so that in the morning you can do and not especially elaborate))))
Please tell me ?

Ivan: The Mine

I could sleep with him without a piss.
Oleg: Without a piss and I would have been able

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 MP
Player with xxx killed 34 people with a knife As you think, he is a normal person in real life.

Those who know everything about sex don’t write books about sex.

This story was told to me by a friend...
Like all average drivers, it does not always observe the speed mode, often enough and much exceeds the speed of movement. And one day, on the road to the south in one of the settlements, where as always in the bushes stood the brave employees of GIBDD, he was stopped. Leaving the car, my acquaintance, realizing that again hit, says to the haishnikovs: "Show your radar and how much I owe you money." He is invited to the patrol car, where he is shown on the binoculars, with the words: "You crossed a steady strip about a few kilometers ago, we saw it in the binoculars, so give your rights, we give you a temporary permit for a month, this decision can be appealed in court..."
My acquaintance, not from a timid dozen, a retired officer, realizing that he is being extortioned, decided to go on the principle.
There were several court hearings, to which the haishniks for various reasons could not appear.
On the last, when my acquaintance was given the word, he said about the following:
“Mr. officers, you claim to have seen both of us in the binoculars, like I did.
Broke the rules?
What they claimed:
Yes of course.
While you could in one single binoculars both at the same time.
To see how I crossed it?
At this point, the wife of my friend smiled echoingly, and the faces of the haishnikovs scattered right in front of their eyes.
To my acquaintance right in the courtroom the rights were restored, the judge explained that it was immediately clear - the case for lawmakers is hopeless - the evidence of an administrative offence is not enough.

Paris in 2030. A tourist asks a man in Chalme:
I can’t find the Eiffel Tower.
This is where the minarets go.