bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114319
 03.06.2015
The Blue Horse is a shit. I knew that Anka wasn’t a femininity model, but yesterday she exceeded all expectations.
What was she surprised by?
Blue Horse: I broke it yesterday and stayed there for the night. I thought, wine cinema, all the work. She looked around and said, “You have fig curtains, it’s too light, I’m not used to sleeping.” While I was wondering what the hint was and whether she had decided from place to place to arrange the house, this goat walked into the warehouse, found my old drawer, put it in the corridor, shrugged all the doors and crashed. I tried to push it up – she whispered, “Light!”" and went down with her head under the blanket. Pizzac is shorter.
You’re a fucking winner in life ?
Blue Horse: It’s true, she’s eaten breakfast from what she found this morning. But the fucking idea of sleeping in the corridor with two sofas and a full-fledged bedroom doesn’t stop it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114318
 03.06.2015
Another time, you understand that you have to choose expressions. Not from what.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №114317
 03.06.2015
Tramway

I was awakened by the phone:

It is great, rough! Did not know?
Not yet, but probably must.
- This is Bobik, Bobko, you and I were in the same class. Do you remember? I was in Moscow, George gave me your phone.
Hi Bob...

I haven’t seen Bobby since I graduated, it’s been thirty-one years. Particularly uncomfortable was the fact that I had long forgotten his name, although apparently he did not remember mine.)

Honey, how are you with time? I’m free all day before the plane.

After two hours we were already sitting in a small cafe and ordering a chocolate ice cream.
Unfortunately, the bald fattened Bobik, I knew much earlier than he did me, it turns out, years and worked well with me. Who could think?
Bob was a powerful German-Italo-French businessman, and also a Dutch subjects. Married, three children.
On the children's topic he took it:

Well how? How to raise them? You give him, you give him, you pull all the veins out of you, and he suddenly declares, "Daddy, my "Audi" is five years old, all my friends are looking closely. How much more will I ride on it?”
Do you imagine? The boy is twenty years old and he turns his nose from a five-year-old Audi? Stupid, well why not? Why did my mother, with three classes of education, and even without a husband, manage to educate me, and I didn’t?
Although we lived in such poverty that it is terrible to remember. I remember during the summer, all the holidays I went to work with my mother, helping her carry the boxes there. And not just on the tram, but strictly in different wagons. Do you remember the Czechoslovaks? And if the old one approached with a harmonium, then my mother and I didn't even sit in it, waiting for it to come with separate cars.
They climbed and stood: Mom was at the end of the first car, and I was at the beginning of the rear car. So they looked at each other through the glass, not separating as spies.
And to go, among other things, far: from the Yanovsk Cemetery and up to Lychakovsky. From Shevchenko to the Walk. Do you know why they did so?
Why is?
Money saved, that’s why. Two times three cents and the same amount back. And when, for example, the controllers flew to my mom in the car, she showed me a compost sign with her hand. I quickly knocked two pounds and ran over at the stop to her, and she, at that time, pretended to be digging in her bag and looking for tickets.
If the day was a good day, without controllers, then my mom always gave me those 12 saved copies and I was happy, not that this, "Audi" he is five years old... And even there is no talk to go to my grandmother to the hospital.
Fuck them with them.
“Bob, and I remember your mother, a prominent woman. She had such red boots.
Exactly so were! I’ll send you a greeting and say you remember her red boots. Mom would be pleased.
How is she alive and healthy?
He is alive, but not in good health. One day there was an attack, they were taken to the hospital. She has lived next to me for a long time. I bought her an apartment in Amsterdam, but she doesn’t want to sell Lviv. The village. Well, yes, because she is so calm. Hopefully one day he will see the lion again.
What did I remember from my childhood? Now I came to the hospital, my mother was still in resuscitation, I was not allowed to go there, but I was taken through the glass to look at her. She lies under the dropper, very close, unfortunate such. She felt, opened her eyes, turned her head, saw me, smiled, and suddenly raised her hand and once, as a "composer show", as in childhood in the tram.
I stuck in the whole corridor, and the tears of myself...
The doctors look at me like a fool, and I grieve and cry.
Fuck, here and now.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №114316
 03.06.2015
Modern priests are like rapers. They ride expensive cars, take pseudonyms, walk in thick chains and read very incomprehensible texts.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114315
 03.06.2015
The truth and the plebees.
Yes, I am tall
And yes, I am a fat woman.
This is a truth that makes no sense to offend.
But how would you tell me to react to the message of a third-party drinker walking out a bottle and a saucer that I am a fat cow?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114314
 03.06.2015
This is:
Antibiotics cause a mutation of viruses, which is why the child may not be cured with the usual prescribed pills.
___

It has muted you.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114313
 03.06.2015
Ten days after menstruation, you can have sex without a condom.
________________
The men! The attention! 10 days after the start of menstruation. Do not confuse

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114312
 03.06.2015
This is not a Muslim community website, it is a technical portal. There are people with brains, not Muslims.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114311
 03.06.2015
There is only one question left: "How could such a powerful mutation pass so quickly?"
— — — —
Per at that time there were nuclear reactors in every village.
— — — —
That’s what they called "Suseki"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114310
 03.06.2015
And then we ask why we live so badly. And even we live that it is easier for most to believe in such a heresy than it is normal to study in school.
____________________
Have you ever tried to argue with sunsets? Quite amusing. It can be used for future astronauts as a training "how to negotiate with an alien without knowing his language".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114309
 03.06.2015
The C Hicks:

xxx: When in the accounting office put a boiler to boil, in the neighboring room the image jumped out of the monitor
YYY: How is it?
xxx: This is when the IPP, calculated at 600W from the connection of a two-kilowatt boiler, says, “Kraja!”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114308
 03.06.2015
In the kindergarten, I also periodically wondered: do we have a mother?
In general, they saw their mother only two years later.
— — — —
We had a nursery next to my job while driving from home. My wife has a job at 40 minutes drive, but in the other direction. I only saw my mother in college.
No need to regret single fathers. The teachers, considering me single, and sitting longer with the child did not mind, and dressed the child to my parish. And forgive the absence of any plastic paints. And the sick child was left in isolation for a couple of hours, while I prayed for affairs, while the mothers were called for urgent emergency.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114307
 03.06.2015
Who is Karl?
- I'm hz, but if you write everywhere, Karl, you'll be in the subject.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114306
 03.06.2015
Have you been to the garden at least once? Did you go to the doctor? Viruses adapt to antibiotics and then do not act. New strains of the virus appear if so understood. There are accelerators of growth and maturity. The mass is increasing and the "potential" is not increasing. The difference is easy to feel in taste. Fresh vegetables and fruits from the store and sweet-pocketed own. The basics of vegetarian can be taught once I have not studied in school.
........................................................................................
The idiot! March to school! Yes, it happens in school!
Antibiotics do nothing to the viruses, they do not even have to get used to them.
Taste is half the soil (and not all in the Voronezh region are grown) and half the varieties, and this is already for breeders, for whom germination and resistance to pests are more important (and the seed foundation has broken, all the abandoned planting materials are taken - shame). "Potential" and others are anti-scientific Houthi.
This is the problem, not the EEG. If the “smart people” regret the fact that “viruses adapt to antibiotics and then they do not work.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114305
 03.06.2015
xxx: In connection with Britain's transition to the metric system of numeration, a new currency of £2.20 is introduced.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114304
 03.06.2015
We go out at night with a guy of guests on foot, empty streets, romance, kisses, all that. We see - near the passage on the boulevard, a man walks there and there, apparently, waiting for someone. He is a young man, forty or fifty years old, in a suit, a shirt, a tie. We pass by - he runs, covers us with a wave of garlic and to the guy, hopefully so, he says: "Young man, you, by chance, do not want to fight?" - "No, I don't want O_o" - "Sorry, very sorry". He turns, breathes, goes back.
What was it?

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №114303
 03.06.2015
You will also say that the children are wanted by the husbands, not the wives :)
+ + + + + + + +

You forgot to add that women are logically interested in children, not sex.
Congratulations to another sexist.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114302
 03.06.2015
The xxx:
I am currently in Volgograd on a business trip.

YYYY :
Funnyly

The xxx:
150 km in length, I was on the outskirts, not even tried to drive to the center - 2 hours on the road.

YYYY :
Did you now quote a fragment from the diary of a German soldier near Stalingrad?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114301
 03.06.2015
We are standing with a friend in the subway, and in front of us sits a very nice girl, probably the size of 4-5. Well, it is hot already on the street, the dress is light, and the view from above is such - the spirit captures. Well, a friend slips, then says, haha, I can look endlessly at two things. I ask, well, judging by where you look first understandably, and the second which? He stabbed for a short time and answered - on the left, on the left of the fox and on the right!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114300
 03.06.2015
Vegetation - five, biology - two. Sit down
and ==
Have you been to the garden at least once? Did you go to the doctor? Viruses adapt to antibiotics and then do not act. New strains of the virus appear if so understood. There are accelerators of growth and maturity. The mass is increasing and the "potential" is not increasing. The difference is easy to feel in taste. Fresh vegetables and fruits from the store and sweet-pocketed own. The basics of vegetarian can be taught once I have not studied in school.
and ==
Viruses are not destroyed by antibiotics. The point. Antibiotics destroy bacteria. Viruses are destroyed by the body's immune response, or antiviral drugs (which are extremely few with proven effectiveness). Everything else is a pillar of pharmaceutical companies with the aim of cutting off a bigger bubble from lambs walking on two legs and considering themselves the crown of evolution.

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