We have a new designer. In the dining room, please tell us what you are interested in.
He is such:
I like to eat in silence.

Idiots do not need to be taught, they are not taught. But they are payable. That is the essence of training.

For more than two months, I did not go to the barber, quarantine and so on. A couple of weeks ago at work my colleagues noticed that I was so big. At the same time, the girls said that this is how I go, so I look younger.

I literally decided and cut my hair yesterday. Today I was told that this is how I look younger.

Hm, every time younger and younger, straight Benjamin Button some.

I had a friend, also coded, once asked a question on the site, whether he was ignored or sent, he decided to register under a female name, took a photo of his acquaintance, asked a question, so he was also not answered and told to stop pretending to be a woman.

I was generally from the Trans-Baykalia and the Negro saw only once in my life it was something: I came to Peter from my colloquium, all the strange I go to everything I watch. I drove in the subway and on the climb to meet me, that is to say, on the descent of a man 15 blacks military, barbecues, hoots..It is not for you those hoops that the unrest now in America is arranging, but real gorillas, combat. I have never seen such wealthy people, and there are also blacks. In general, I go up to them for a meeting with an open mouth. And the one who was in front of everyone was looking at me with a furious glance that I had already imagined as he squeezes my head in the fist to the blood. And it is in pure Russian: Look, close the barrel only...

It seems that the quarantine will end, but the masquerade will continue.

Federico Fellini has made a bet with Tony Guerrero that he will not come up with a full-length film of just 10 seconds.
The next day, the great screenwriter brought this drawing: A woman is watching TV. On the screen - the launch of the rocket. The reverse count: 10... 9... 8... We see her face, which reflects the storm of experiences.
In the last few seconds she takes the phone, calls the number, 7...6...5...4...3...2...1 and with the launch of the rocket says in the tube: “Come, he’s gone!”

Morning in the Negro Family:
“Mom, mom, I washed the dishes, can I go and rob the shops with the guys?”
A mascara for me!

xxx: I understand everything, of course, but accepting all amendments to the constitution in one package does not please me. For example, I am opposed to the amendment of Tereshkova on the nullator, but

Absolutely for others, how do I vote if the ballot is just “yes or no”?? to

yyy: you put an apple, peach, steak and a piece of shit in a cup, carefully mixed. Will you eat?

My fellow student, a year in 2008, one marginal asked to smoke, little stuff...In the end, he gave in the beard and took the phone. And immediately carried it to the local repair workshop (the city was small, the lombards we had not yet). Ironically, there worked the uncle of the victim, who identified the nephew's phone and delayed it. The attacker was given about 8 years. Not the first episode.

When I split up with my ex, with whom more than once a week is already a holiday, I also thought I wanted to fuck 24/7, always and everywhere. And then the universe decided to support me and I met a girl of supposed dreams. The 4th size, a great figure, leads a very active lifestyle (enduro, snowboarding, strikeball and doping). At the same time, she was greedy to the fuck as much as possible. There are 20 minutes of free time - why is your member still not in it? ? to Do you need to get up early in the morning to work? The marathon is provided until 4 a.m. Are you going to sleep? In the sense of sleeping, you are lying on me! Over the course of a week, the entire apartment, the entrance and much more was robbed. Her orgasms were wild. She trembled, cried, cried like the last time, flowed and sprinkled from all sides, and all this around dozens of times a night (lords, forgive me, neighbors). I thought I was in heaven and if she wasn’t a noble brainwoman, I would probably have married her.

Only after two weeks of breaking up for all the past years, I began to get really busy. I realized that in the morning I want to sleep an extra half an hour, and not throw another stick of this wild fury. That I am enough to finish a couple of times in the evening, and not to work 5 hours in a row, suffocating from shortness of breath (although I was quite a sports cotton at the time). And that in general - to fuck a few times a day every day, ending at the same time a total of a dozen times, it is fucking difficult and uncomfortable. I felt like a sex toy with crushed eggs. Therefore, it wasn’t two weeks since I was forced to melt her out for some crazy reason, although it was problematic to break away from her. Then, a couple of times I longed to recall all this happiness, when I had no sex for a long time, but was brave enough not to try to contact her again.

And the moral? Yes, he knows, while printed, from memories decided to overturn once and forgot what he wanted to finish the spark)

The main achievement of the Internet is to identify the true percentage of idiots.

Help for friends

About a year ago, a good friend who worked as a lawyer in a small firm approached me to provide him with financial assistance. There was no free money at the time, so I had to refuse.

A few days after receiving this request, one of the long-time clients just threw a small deal, the essence of which is very simple: we put, we did not pay, the claim has already been sent. You need to make a claim, the deadline is until next Friday (almost 2 weeks).

I remember a recent dialogue with a comrade and I decide to pass on to him this little deal. The task is absolutely easy, especially for him, and the money pays very even not bad. Even if there are any bugs, I can fix it quickly enough. The Hero of History:

Oh badly, hi You asked for money, but the situation did not change.

No, has it not changed? Can you help?

Yes I can. But we have to work a little.

Just to borrow?

The answer immediately warned me, but I decided not to attach much importance to it.

Unfortunately only so.

I understand, tell me.

Listen to. The company appealed who delivered the goods on time and was not paid. The contract of supply is, the UDP too, even the act of summoning is signed. The complaint was already written, there was no response. You only have a claim, as soon as you write and send me, I will transfer you X money. It has to be done until next Friday.

I understand, I will think.

After reflecting a week, and, accordingly, losing half the term, Alexei agreed to work and received an el. Send a copy of all the necessary documents.

A few days before the deadline, the customer calls:

and hello. How is my business progressing? Will it all happen by Friday?

Hi Ivan Ivanovich, everything will be done, don’t worry.

I know I’ll go for lunch on Friday. If anything, call me for now.

All the good.

I call Alexis:

- Lozha, hello, the client called and was interested in promoting the drafting of the lawsuit.

You said it was until Friday.

Everything is so. I just call to remind you.

I remember everything, don’t have to control me.

and well.

On Thursday, the fifth point of the half-day felt the immediate approaching of adventures, but I didn’t want to believe it. At 5 o’clock in the evening, I still call the hero of history, and no one takes the phone. Well, I think anything happens, will call again.

No one called back at six o’clock, and at seven and eight o’clock. I try to call for about half an hour, knocking on all the messengers, no result.

I go into the profile of one of the social networks of his wife and see there fresh photos, in which she, her parents and Alexei himself are beautiful, sitting in the country, and consuming shillingdos under hot drinks.

I call his wife:

Olya and hello. I am looking for your husband, can you help me with this?

Hi, and what happened?

“Losha has to do some work tomorrow morning and send it to me. I want to know about his successes.

- So he left with the test for fishing, the waters were caught with him, they will only be on Saturday.

Are you serious now?

Yes of course.

Great, send him a greeting.

After 5 minutes, a message from Alexei comes: “I can’t, give it until Monday.”

Just great!

We have been working with this client for more than a year, and I don’t want to lose him at all. Fortunately, the scans of documents remained on the mail and you can not go to the office for the originals at such a late hour.

He did it himself and handed it over to the client the next day. Alexis called on Saturday night:

Hello, I didn’t have time to do everything. Let’s go until Tuesday, or I’ve been done here.

and hello. Did you work before or after eating vodka with a fish test?

In the sense?

“Ola told me what you’re busy with. And don't worry about the job, I did everything, gave the client and got the money too.

Thank you for helping a friend.

Why thank you? You are there, ohh.

(He dropped the call)

Guess who is the enemy of the people?

For one and a half years, no matter how children are raised, the Bolsheviks still do.

As our director pleaded, he is the owner of the company, honestly earned grandmothers. The money for the work done went... but disappeared. People said briefly “money later.” I waited for a week... another... and stopped driving to the office. This combinator calls me, asking where he is missing. I say, there is no money. There is no gasoline. There is no transportation either.

You are a temporary trouble! Do you think I am honest?

Why don’t I believe, I believe. They believe in fuel. I was driving in the road, but at the same time I was sending them into the woods to see why.

I sit in my room, think about what to do and decided "let's play the piano" (my mom for 15 years regretted buying a piano, but my dad never bothered). So I decided for the sake of fun this time to ask Daddy, further dialogue:



Do you want me to play the piano for you?

Of course, just not now.

And when?

When I am not at home.



And now I think why did you ask A? ! to

XXX: I have a little bit of a fuck. When I was small and she came to visit, she kicked me in the chest every time and asked "does the breasts grow?" And then I grew up and sent her naked, of course, I ran for the mat, but the aunt got off.

You didn’t live up to my aunt’s hopes. She thought your breasts would grow and your eggs would grow.

I sat in the bus next to a woman of 60 years old today with a lateral sight I noticed that she was looking at me as it were.I think like all normal dressed jeans and a T-shirt, the hair is not painted in a bright color and makeup was not the wrong thing?I begin to look at her questionably and she gives me: A girl if God has rewarded you with such a breast it should be hidden, it is unpleasant when the girl shows and so on.

I first gently said I got into a stupor because I had an ordinary shirt without a cut even,the only thing that I had a size of 5 well so I didn't choose it.Only after a time when I had a shock I thought how some people are still trying to inject complexes in an empty place.What if this woman is a grandmother and she says to her granddaughter every day that the breasts are ashamed or that other physiological processes need to be ashamed.She remembered the case from school as my classmate told that when she went her first critical days her mother said to her: "all her childhood ended you are now a woman, so that men don't smell the smell of blood and they will hit you right away"She then was very scared and even walked these days to school.So that's what it would

A few years ago I went to work, got to study and there was a conversation about taste addictions and a girl who led the training says:

I do not eat meat.

Well, everyone started asking why and why and what you eat and then she gives a wonderful phrase:

Meat is getting older.

I couldn’t help but get into the conversation. I look so young that cigarettes are not always sold without a passport.



I eat meat and look young. Do you know how old I am?

Years 18-19

I am 29

Oh that devastating look, it was great.

The bosses are those whom lack of knowledge and understanding does not prevent from making decisions.