Hijackers are usually hijacked so that they remain completely confident that they are hijacked.

The son in school began to lag behind, decided to take his discipline. Among other measures, the Samsung 8500 TV turned on, so that the child does not stick. In the evening I come - my son is sitting, YouTube is watching TV. It turns out that the password does not apply to YouTube. In fact, Diane is only looking at him.
My son says to me:
Congratulations to Dad! You are Rosemary!

The earth is actually flat. But she was pulled to the ball.

At one time I was in a tinder, apparently I am lucky, I met adequate and cute people there, with some we maintain contact not the first year, it was just interesting to communicate, common interests and topics without any kind of sex-shmex. But not about that.

I remembered one case from the Dottinger times. After my divorce, for some reason, many relatives and friends set themselves the goal of necessarily participating in the arrangement of my personal life by introducing me to their friends, friends of friends and other hands-on single men. Well, in principle, such a tinder, only without correspondence. There was a holiday, on March 8, I go to my friend in the suburbs, "sitting under the shampoo." Her boyfriend worked as a long-distance driver and was not expected to go home. However, it turned out that he just returned to the party, and with a friend. Oh well ok. This holiday won’t ruin us, I’m for anything except for a hunger strike. At the time of my arrival, the guys were sitting and playing in the console, Tanyuha crushed the salad in a coat and a puddle on my head, I gave out from the threshold that it was a holiday, and the boys could, if they did not organize, then somehow help, caused a mess there, sent a girlfriend to put herself in order, and the guys ended up covering on the table, crushing what they were not attentive and sensitive. Apparently, behind the flowers they broke from guilt. In general, we sat down, talked, and overall had a pleasant and positive time. That friend, Paul, called to take me home, my grandfather was paralyzed at home, and I had to feed him, give him medicines, etc. Paul did not drink, so I accepted the offer, especially I had to take heavy things from my friend.



Then began the treasure. Thro the way, Pavlentius told me how lucky I was to have a friend, how decent he earns, and how he loves children (at the time my son was 5), how wonderful, active I am, and how pleased he is with our acquaintance.  Coming home, he gets a bottle of beer right in the car and spills it into himself, with the words, now you can and rest.  Class, how do you go by taxi? It turned out that Paul was going to stay overnight with me: "You have two, we go to bed in another room, no problem, your grandfather will not bother us, and the son of my grandmother, I have all the things with me, so you can not even give me a towel." Falling down and out of the car, I said goodbye, pulled out my luggage, saying that I generally have my own view of this situation, will he sleep, apparently, in the car, or here is the number of a taxi, there to go for 30 minutes. My idea of joy for some reason did not cause, I was grabbed by the hand, with the claim, "well listen, you are this, behave correctly, I gave you flowers, I don't give them to anyone." Oh, only to those with whom I am going to sleep - I shook. And then he gives out: "Okay, because you are afraid that I will stay with you, so and so, I spend the night in the car, only give me money in debt, I want to cater to you, or I left the money with a friend (now), I go to the store, what is there to take you, shampoo? We’ll sit there a little, and maybe you’ll change your mind.”  I am generally a girl raised, but here I had to tell my mother what I think about this wonderful proposal. I gave him 500 r. for delivery, I didn't want to be honorable to such a knight. In my back came the tirade: "Who you need with such a character, a divorce with a trailer, right your husband left you."

In the morning, a friend calls: "Well, you give your mother, on the first date, Spili-Villi." After heating and not shaking out, I learned how my night passed, in what poses and how many times. Somewhere in a week this miracle rings, the phone gave him a good friend of a friend and says, "something bad with us the first date went, I will come in a couple of weeks, you think there well, the guy needs a father, you will not be one to raise him and 500 rubles I will bring you."

She wished him happiness in his personal life and blocked him. Sometimes I remember and think somebody got such a wonderful one!

One of my Korean students travelled for exchange in the United States and lived in an American family. As soon as the mother of the family asks him: (read slowly, if he understands English) NOW WE WILL EAT a chicken. Have you ever eaten chicken in Russia?

I said a lot of thought over the question and gave out - no, we don't eat chicken, we only eat chicken poor.

The ear came to her.

As history has shown, the most interesting story does not show, but shamefully hides.

Scotch Pashka

From the bushes a cuddly girl cries out: “Pappa! Give me the cowards!”
The entire beach is shaken by the shrimp – and those who don’t know Pashka, and those who know that Pashka is a stolen apricot pudel.

For those who do not understand economics:
The higher the dollar, the higher the price in rubles. The lower the dollar, the higher the price in rubles. Hopefully now everything is clear.

My husband and I used to eat fish pellet at dinner. The nuance was that the test was black. With ink caratica or some other shit, I don’t remember. Well, on the output, respectively, the same color palette, all in dark black colors). I ask him after some time - did you not get scared there in the push after these pelerins? It turns out, he, the poor, completely forgot about the pelmeni and began to google the symptoms, according to which three days of diarrhea and death.

Xxx is a shit. Now even shaking is dangerous, everywhere.



Yyy: Oh, I went over to a nursery trance, and it turned out to be a grandmother. Fu, the ugliness (