Who did you want to be when you were 13-14?
I do not remember :)
- And I wanted to become a drug addict :) so that all people immediately lag behind me, such as, and why Iljuša does not study, so he is a drug addict.
I still like this position :)

There is a couple, a dumb guy and a full girl. I ride a bicycle and hear a dialogue:
Let me help you carry the bag.
Girl: Is it you? She is heavy! This is for you, little girl.
Fuck, this guy is heavy too...

HHH: I wonder, and the jump of the people here is three?
1 of 1!)
You know the way, you know the way.

All Russian fairy tales teach us – if you want to live long, keep your eggs.

SMS from an unknown number
Hi to you! Can I call?
I call you!
Sorry... I’m probably wrong...
Please call me at any time. :)
I don’t even know... what is your name?
I am: Vitalka :-) And you?
Oh, Vitalka... I was wrong! I am smoke!and :-)
I: Well then let’s go!
Go to! Good luck brother!and :-)

A huge human described the way to get a new driver’s license through marriage and name change)) fuck the police))

by Zh.
The author took the chicken, and shares the tricks:

It was necessary to apply the folk peasant trick and lay down the nests underpinned - thisacee eggs-mulch. Initially, the tiny idea of titanium eggs was rejected: they are Russian chickens, they will either break them or lose them!

"clear", "clear" and the smiley are the killers of dialogue.

Today was Epic Feel. In the morning, the Father went in and looked into the toilet, and there was a textbook on nuclear physics and platelets.
I see you have fun alone. I will not disturb.
I went away =(

We are against drugs! We are for a healthy lifestyle! We are for a strong Russia. The leader shouted.
Oh yeah! Drunk youths shouted, brewing beer and strikes.

I sit in the jacuzzi pool in the fitness club. Next to me is another very pregnant woman, rubbing about the maternity house and so on. Here comes a man, sitting next to me, to my left. We reduce the noise, but continue to talk about pregnant topics. The girl asks: "and he is pushing heavily?"I say, well, yes, this is what she just got with her heel under her left ribs. At these words, the man was almost thrown out of the water out of indignation, he cried for a long time, through the noise of the water we only uncovered, "If I hit you, then by chance, and then - not with the heel, but with the hand, and not on the ribs, but on the foot." How then we laughed all three did not drown - I don't know))))

Answering a question from the hall, the Prime Minister of Belarus Mikhail Miasnikovich raised the situation with such a joke: "There are three degrees of poverty of the Belarusian: the first - no money, the second - no money at all, the third - will have to sell dollars."

A familiar monoblock with a touch screen. He said he turned off the sensor. The reason - mosquitoes hit the screen and manage to close open programs.
Survived to complete computerization - mosquitoes study Windows

I like the graduates.

The certificate is awarded %username%!
...
He is already in the army.

Sometimes it seems that the goods of Russian production should be written "Russia. Made for fuck"

Every day I go out on my glazed balcony and kill dozens of mosquitoes, mosquitoes and flies of various sizes in the open windows. When I went out today, I noticed the oxygen again. A few different sizes! The first thought from what I saw: LevelUp!

News on RBC: "Moskovich gave the police almost a million for unconventional sex"

So, it’s proven that they’re still pigs...

5 years ago, having received a gift from his mother 2109 turquoise, he could not meet any girl sitting in the car.
Now, having earned on Pajero, since the beginning of this year, I fucked four in the car, and six outside it, already on the second date after the cabbage.

And just don’t tell me, dear fools, that I’ve just gotten fantastic in these five years.

AST-Systems: Hi, can you rework the bill by adding another 20 boxes of paint and throw it off on the fax?
Good morning, one minute, an urgent matter, then a drop.
The system: OK
Did you bite jellyfish as a child?
Originallogin: Oh sorry not to you.
AST-Systems: Nothing, solve your questions. We will wait...

I need a funny joke.
So that I can read her.
Laugh loudly or quietly, roll under the table, smell tears of happiness, tell it to a girlfriend, my friends.
To raise my mood, whether I want it or not. Not to be a template.
To be able to remember her, when you drink tea and splash the monitor from your nose, stupidity, of course, but still a lot of fun.
And then take and press "funny" and don’t be ashamed of it.