bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129873
 24.06.2016
Hubr, article discussion "A new living being that feeds on electrons has been discovered"
A curious philosophical question: Is a being powered by pure electricity a living being, or is it still a “natural” robot?
yyy:> And another question – should they be banned, in any case, to protect children?
zzz:> Adopted in first reading. 99% for and 1% abstained.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №129872
 24.06.2016
How hard to understand British English, horror, this is the accent.
They seem to have invented English. It’s not their accent, but everyone else.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129871
 24.06.2016
by 20671. Ahtung, the latent pedophile broke out again! Interesting: missing such shit, local moderns what do they think?

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129870
 24.06.2016
4pda to doogee x5 max

XXX: You are a puppy. What do you shoot on your phone and then watch on TV? Is it worth considering buying a camera or at least a camera? However, the camera is not the main function, but rather an additional bonus :)

yyy: In light of the fact that people buy phones for 60-80 t.p., an additional bonus for them is most likely the call and SMS functions :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129869
 24.06.2016
Washing a child in the bathroom is equated to pedophilia and giving a deadline, the joint washing of a father with his son in the bathroom is to homosexual pedophilia with the same result.

and washing daddy with son and daddy's friends and a group of people.

MDA... so you can FIG know where to bring the harshness and marasm

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №129868
 24.06.2016
Britain, after leaving the EU, liberated a little space in the union. Exactly 1 GB.

[ + 25 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129867
 24.06.2016
Twenty years ago I gave my friend a tent. His character did not disappear. He seems to be an experienced traveler. Only chemical coal remains from the tent.
As it turned out, the comrades he popped with first broke the stands. They made fakes. Then they perverted, bound the carcass of the tent to the tree growing next to it. It seemed to stand.
It became cold. Burned inside the burner. It is forbidden to burn in closed rooms. But the spirit of survival and all the tomatoes... and then coincidence. The wind broke the curtain, and at the same time the burner fell.
From the burning tank flew a pesto. Two from the normal output, and apparently the most stubborn burn(!) A burning way out. So these ducks managed to gather a raft from the burned slugs, under which they stayed for two more nights.
And you, forgive me, the poser that you went to the park for the night.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129866
 24.06.2016
Book about falling stars and blinded mankind: The Day of the Trifids. A classic, I love it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129865
 24.06.2016
I decided to do yoga to restore my health. Recently, the MRI apparatus showed that I had a big problem.

Oh my God, what kind of?

I was stuck in it...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №129864
 24.06.2016
One day at work, I was in the toilet, sitting quietly, as suddenly the accounting office was stuck there almost in its entirety. From the first seconds it became clear, the aunts came here to be outraged by the person of Gender and his idiotic leadership of the company, passed by and on, on all the tops, some intrigues were discussed, God knows what. To check the presence of anyone in the cabins they did not bother, so lili gow... that is, they spoke openly, not embarrassed by expressions and details. I sat quietly hoping that they would not uncover me, because witnesses of THAT were not left alive. And considering that this information was not interesting to me, I did not want to die in vain (of course, nobody would kill me, but a good relationship could be buried). And when all the bones were washed, one lady decided to get into my cabin, but it wasn’t. I held the defense, pressing my legs, so that no god let my shoes not identify me. There was a grave silence, during which there was a reflection. The uncles in shock began to whisper, realizing what kind of poo they might have gotten with their secrets. I held the door with my hand and coughed a little for the case, so that they didn’t think that it was spelled. The siege lasted for a while, then the accountantry left the toilet one by one, but only the fool would not realize that there would be surveillance behind the toilet door. So it was, the accountantry walked through the corridor, not losing the door to the unfortunate office from sight. They walked like this for a long time, but they didn’t do anything. The identity of the mysterious witness remains unresolved. And all because the toilet was on the first, very low floor and it had a window.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №129863
 24.06.2016
Today, the director at the meeting asked the new assistant to soften the plastic container with a sponge (to put a finger there and then conveniently leaf the pages). So here - she took, spit in her at everyone and gave him back. We have a new vacancy.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129862
 24.06.2016
A Swiss prostitute service firm has announced that it plans to open a sex café in Geneva by the end of the year, where male clients would have oral sex for a morning cup of coffee. Prostitution is legalized in Switzerland, but there are opponents.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129861
 24.06.2016
We had an employee in the office - a catch, he himself is modest. We on March 8 took his photo with VK with the naked torso, there he was snoring out of the pool - the classic of the rubbish) and hanged from the inside of the door of the female toilet))) And signed from March 8, girls) In the end, the guy could not understand why the girls so strangely smile to him. They told him what it was about – good with humor.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129860
 24.06.2016
One day a friend borrowed money from me, I do not remember why and where, there was a deadline for repayment. The time has expired, and it must be said that he was a master of blasphemy, as he thought and still thinks,. And it started. and. and. "The cat got sick," "you were, but sorry friend, I forgot to give and I spent them," "now another friend will give and immediately return to you," and all in this spirit. And then he got the money, and I urgently needed to repay the debt. He says, “I owe you a debt now. ! to ! to My debt remains and I’ll pay it back later. “” I wandered, what to hide, I wandered from such generosity, but I agreed to such conditions.

Naturally, I gave him nothing and decided to forgive his debt.

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129859
 24.06.2016
Neighborhood with us long rented an office girl, who was engaged in the sale of German diapers and something else in this spirit. Recently she went to Germany for PMJ, the office was removed by a company that installs windows and doors. They hanged a sign, and in the window was a huge advertisement poster.

According to the guys who work in this office, young moms are not embarrassed by the presence of a new sticker - they still break and ask for diapers.

After a week of such work, their director bought a wholesale batch of diapers and threw them into the warehouse. And now the administrator just sells the required diapers to the moms, and for the money they earn they buy cookies to the office.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129858
 24.06.2016
20671 "Shame on both of your homes"
I don’t know what’s wrong with being a coward at home. Yes, it’s not so decent to appear on the street, but why not at home? If only their own. Would I be pleased if my grown-up children were walking before me in one shirt? I think over the years of bathing and changing diapers I will somehow get used to their nakedness. And so that a man does not walk home in unfresh trousers, he has since childhood to be taught these cowards to change regularly.

Why do you talk about men? Do you think women do not walk around the house in hot clothes?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №129857
 24.06.2016
Does your husband have a new costume?
This is my new husband.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129856
 24.06.2016
I read the title of my son's master's thesis to her husband: "Development and software implementation of encryption of information in the corporate network without exchange of secret keys," and the husband asks:
Did you write on your example?
In what example?
How to divide the Internet into three without telling anyone your password.
I broke it up and wrote it to my son. The son’s answer:
I’t write about that. The technology does not go into the masses.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129855
 24.06.2016
What is the difference between Diablo 3 and Works of Warcraft? Both games are online.
Yyy: In Voyeur you collect raids on monsters, and in Diablo the monsters collect raids on you.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129854
 24.06.2016
Tagged: bleak
It does not happen)
and ppc. They called me.
Aunt touched the system, it’s hot (logically it’s hot)
I decided to cool it.
Pulled out of the pulver
He turned off.
The Fucks

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