bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129793
 22.06.2016
LIKE: The feeling when you watch a new clip or listen to a new fashion song, you realize that you don’t have time to degrade and dumb as quickly as society))

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129792
 22.06.2016
When the next friends write out how it is complacent to mess with a half-year-old daughter (" and you also very, very need!!I say: and tomorrow I will sleep probably until 10..." Having seen the young dads and moms start to turn tears in the eyes, I continue:" and in the meantime I will probably wake up until noon, and then I will prepare a tea, breakfast in bed, watch a couple of hours of video with a companion(sleeping in bed), then I fall under the shower, go for training, walk around the city for shopping. In the evening I go to the cinema with a friend or friends, and then I go to the PAB, I eat beer and gin with a steak... Well, and if I am in the mood - I can go to the club, or to a couple of other institutions to walk... "The expression of the faces of young beginners "parents" is difficult to convey in words. There follows a long sad pause, then usually quite overwhelmed "mamaša" with a rattling eye quickly rattles what "well" and with the children too... the type... it is... like his - a, fun and pinky begins to drive his sad spouse home. And, ruining things, phones, shoes, children’s toys and, in fact, a child, a couple floats in the direction of their home... And yes, children are great!!! But this is hard, stubborn, long work and not "out-the-road", as many hope and are not ready for, if you are honest with yourself.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129791
 22.06.2016
Discussion of an interview with a church figure, quote from an interview: “Why go against God and make economists of mothers?”

Congregatio: I imagine that a voice from heaven says to Moses on the mountain: “A woman must not be an economist.” And Moses said, “Lord, who is this?”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129790
 22.06.2016
Website of RENT.

Eyewitnesses told the details of the horrific accident on the Friday highway in Moscow.

"He flew across the well. It is said that from the trampoline he flew through the air, rose back. If he walked on the earth, he would have stuck here", the eyewitnesses said.

What language is that? I did not understand anything!!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129789
 22.06.2016
X: I don’t know how to play football either. Where are my millions?
Z: Where is it?
Z: You are not as unable as some do not.
Z: You don’t know how to do it!

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129788
 22.06.2016

here here :
It’s good that people only have two sexes. If there were more, there would be a PSC.

But if there were not two sexes in the world, male and female, but, for example, five! And in order to save mankind from extinction, it would be necessary to gather five. Well, and if the first got sick, the second was late, the third confused the password when appearing, and the fourth just changed his mind... It turns out that only the fifth is ready for love. But what can he do alone? How wonderful it is that there are only men and women. – Peter FM

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129787
 22.06.2016
Probably should

(In the forum there is a talk about another reorganization of the movement in the next Moscow traffic jams)
...
No, I understand everything, computer modeling there, technology all kinds of things...
And do car enthusiasts know that they should behave according to the model?
...

Once we went to train this very transport modeling and I in my youth tried to push the idea: and let's model fools on the road. Thus e. Part of the flow on the strip is only directly empty to the right or allow reconstruction immediately before the turn, etc. Below they say, it is not on the PDD. Not by guest. Oh well clearly.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129786
 22.06.2016
How did you bite everyone – feminists, chauvinists, goats, hounds, cows, children, childless.
Just go away. Go to Nashville. Please please.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129785
 22.06.2016
I am a very tall girl, 180. In the universe I had a very miniature teacher, to one and a half meters, probably, did not reach.

And this lady confused me with my classmate Yulia. She was probably the only person in the world to whom Yulia and I seemed similar, because, apart from being above average height, we had nothing in common with this girl. Once, when we were once again confused, Julia thoughtfully said, “Maybe all the people above the seventy-fifth meter seem the same to her?”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129784
 22.06.2016
I only have four compasses in my room.
xxx: one sysblock, one laptop, one tablet and one I support the window

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129783
 22.06.2016
Oh, these psychologists in school... an instant test. They answered and immediately collected the papers. You need to answer with one phrase, without thinking, the question: what would you do with a time machine if you only had one attempt?

Most used to start with money, the revival of Peter or Stalin.
Only one disciple replied, “I would sink Columbus’s first expedition.”

[ + 21 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129782
 22.06.2016
Discussion of the high cost of the son's wedding:
We were not in doubt! My daddy has nothing to do with it, yes.

"...he’s one of the smartest people I’ve met in my life..."
What a coincidence again! That is not the son/daughter of an official, so brilliant entrepreneur/businesswoman.

Immediately the mood and health became good, there is no money.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129781
 22.06.2016
And in general...the game itself, quite dumb and poor. 22 idiots in cowards (in general, any footballers) chase the ball on the pitch. It is very spectacular, ah.
Real men play hockey, cowards don’t play hockey. This is a game for real men. Hard, fast and spectacular. Adrenaline and driving. And footballers...what’s the man in this game at all...half-pokers are some fucking stuff.
— — —
Yes!! Cut in the grenade! Finally a healthy thought!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №129780
 22.06.2016
I am watching the news carefully. For example, it is easier to teach AI to ask questions than to give answers.
I went to the ballet or the opera. It is difficult and you can get stuck.
and when? How is it called? Do you like? Simply and honestly.

He began to use this method when dangerous questions were asked.
I understood where the tradition of answering a question came from.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129779
 22.06.2016
During the whole holy-war, I saw only one example of a truly feminist approach - about the family, where spouses support each other in self-realization and the search for a suitable job. And the princesses, waiting for her husband to beat every idiot who let go of the rough joke that hit her, are not feminists, but just the opposite, longing to hide from everything in life for a knight.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129778
 22.06.2016
My wife brought me to meet my aunt. There is a chess board. I asked, can we play?
The championship was hardly at all.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129777
 22.06.2016
– Shirt, and your Abrasha helps you at home?
“My Abrashah is one of those people who are most beneficial when they don’t do anything.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №129776
 22.06.2016
I stand in a line at the box, in front of me, a Negro pays for the purchases and goes out. I approach the box and see that there are 500 rubles in the box for delivery. The seller looks around to call the guy and return the delivery, and gives to the whole store:
Chunga Changa! You forgot to surrender!
Strangely enough, the guy realized that they were addressing him and returned for his surrender.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №129775
 22.06.2016
Alex Byev: Today in the match against Wales I saw how Russian football died
Jester: The Iron Birds disagree with you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129774
 22.06.2016
Dennis, change the monitor for me. It is impossible to work on this!
What does not please you?
Not all lines are visible.
I’ll give you another monitor.
I have a virus on that computer. Will they also be on the monitor?! to
I will be very careful when replacing.

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