Drivers and Drivers.
Last year, the autumn-winter daughter studied for an exchange semester in Paris. I went to Spain for the weekend in the Basque Country in Bilbao. On the way back at an interim stop between Bilbao and Paris, he asks drivers (two of them on long-haul routes) if they will soon get to Paris. They have round eyes: we’re not going to Paris, we’re going to London. We will not go to Paris. Now the daughter has round eyes: going back in the night, confused the bus. Go here and get to Paris in the middle of the night? The drivers say: we will soon have a shift, another couple will go to London, and we will be taken to Paris by minivan. Do you want with us? Where did we not disappear? I went to some town. Watermen ate dinner/breakfast, smoked/pizzed, waiting for a minivan, and so on. Then I drove in the night with a bunch of men (except those drivers were from other routes). But! The Surprise! He arrived in Paris safely and safely. They even brought him straight home.
These are the drivers, not the drivers.

Phone call to my wife:
Listen to me, beautiful girl. We took your husband hostage. If you want to get him alive, you have an hour to meet our demands.
The Wife:
I agree, what are the requirements?
You have to bring a beer box in the garage.
The voice of the husband in the telephone: “Two... two...”

Sberbank for the first time used a special drone to deliver money‍
Poo: Pita4og, do you have a gun at home?

xxx: And I’ve noticed the times when Ramstein was included in our cage.
xxx: Under the cage, I meant the disco, there was just a cage-enclosed dance floor.
YYY: I could not clarify, it was so fun.

rxubarb (23:02:32)
I have installed a lock in my room today) I am pleased, all the things are done.
Fought with my mother. She locked me in the room (I can’t get out.)

To Dmitry Anatolyevich hanging on the lamp, we will say: "There are no tabs, but you stick".

What’s hard with the cat’s job?
Try it out, take a hat.

in the restaurant "two sticks" in the Primorsky in one bathroom - TWO UNITAZES
Next is the quotation of the manager to whom I asked the question "and if the resting gentlemen do not want to interrupt the discussion? And we made the second ".

A 6-year-old boy calls all the religious structures “cirkus”... the mother thinks that the daughter is just promising. The father is convinced that his daughter is a warrior troll atheist.

Correspondence with the journalist:
Do you know why no one has heard of the heroic people of Switzerland for a long time? Because the more incompetent the government, the greater the feat the people do, once again getting out of the next ass.
The secret to a successful people’s life is to disappear from all heroic news.

Lennonenko: With pineapples you need to be very careful, a piece of lemon, day-to-day pineapple diet - goodbye, enamel.
Ryle: While you digest the pineapple, it digests you!

Conversation with a student of Samara. Aerospace University (SGAU) on helicopters.

Why do you need a tail ball?
Turn the tail!
And the final...?

... And then it turned out that the contact he had on the phone "Katia Big Fool" is not about physical parameters but about lifestyle!

A comrade here arose an idea, after a short look at the playground in the courtyard, and said: And I know what kind of sandbox children need, so that they do not scatter the sand in vain. The bottom of the sandbox is made of a powerful magnet, and instead of sand - a iron shredder!
No, did you think? They put sand in all their pockets. They are completely in the sand. And with this stitch soon there will be a bunch of children lying there and will not be able to get out!

xxx: just if predetermined - you can scroll, say that I should be stressed, everything is predetermined

YYY: So that you run is also predetermined.
YYY: This is a very funny loop.
YYY: You cannot do what is not predetermined.

xxx: and that I don't want to scroll even if predetermined - also predetermined

YYY: is correct

XXX: This is how you can enter the recursion
XX: After all, what we write about that everything is predetermined is also predetermined, including that I am controlling my messages.

YYY: Yes Yes
YYY: Just performing one large script

What if someone refactored it?

YYY: We will not know.
YYY: We live in a scrap scrap.

That’s why we sleep. While you are sleeping, someone refactorizes your script code
xxx: I am not
xxx and dreams dream because this someone test launches does
XXX: The Dude

yyy: no, well, it’s just garbage collection happening) the brain works like a virtual machine.
And those who do not dream - there are no refactors.

The Raf
I was riding to Dacia.
Ivanka
How is it?))
Ivanka
When will the weather be normal, right???? to
The Raf
I waited for the storm. But! I broke my finger with a hammer, and on the way back my failing member began to collapse!
Ivanka
What is a faking member?
The Raf
This is my bicycle. The Challenger system. But due to the design features of the Member is more suitable for him.

What a layer? I lay my hair, as I print - by the ten-finger method and blind.

All my youth listening to the song of the group Friday - half of me, I counted and sang the song like this: half of me - Dolboeb, Dolboeb! And recently I learned what there is "song". I told my friends - they argue that they now also hear "dolboеб")))

Recently an interesting story happened to me. I repair the car in the garage and a man approaches me slightly in a sneeze (and maybe even more) and engages in a dialogue with him:

Q: Do you repair it?

I am repairing.

After 10 minutes, he gave advice on how to repair, how with the guys they ran on such cars in the 90s (I have a VAZ 2108), what he owned himself for such a long time and blah blah blah blah, nonsense that I listened to in half a hole, and then asks, doesn't even ask, but rather demands:

Give me 50 rubles.

I: No, no is there.

M : Absolutely?

I : Yes!

Q: Do you live far away?

I: Yes so...

M: Go home and take me a puddle!

Here for a half-minute of such arrogance, I just fell into a stupor and looked stupidly at him...

I : No! I won’t go, I’m not sure.

M: Go check, I’ll wait here.

I said no and I will not go, I am busy, don’t bother.

M: Oh, I’m human to you, and you... looks like a normal guy, but in fact.

And went further...

I served in the Israeli army. We had plenty of religious bearded guys there.

The day before the war in Iraq, everyone was forced to shave. Type under anti-gas - awaited enemy attack.

It was a kind of whisper... You go - and half of the people on the base you can't recognize in focus... And I only managed to serve on this base for a week at that time... I didn't always recognize everyone with a beard...

Thank God, I wasn’t the only dude who walked around and asked everyone, “You’re the type of who.” Well, or called the cell phone, looked at the sides, who took the phone and said that accidentally called :)