bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №17221
 13.06.2009
The children finished 9th grade and received a certificate. How to please children? ( Boy and Girl )
Go here, go here, go here, go here, go here, go here.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №17220
 13.06.2009
I live in Kazakhstan. In 11 classes, as in Russia, a final test of the type of EGE is carried out, only called ENT.
The subject of submission is History of Kazakhstan.
So in the tests on this very story was the question: From whom came man? Different options of answers...
The girl answered correctly, from the monkey.
That fucking there! In fact, judging by these tests, the man originated from the Kazakhs!!! to
The Court of Appeal did not accept the complaint...
And this country still wants to be a full member of the world community.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17219
 13.06.2009
My wife comes home with a package of food. I waited for an hour at home, hungry. Get out of the package of foods, not in a hurry, get a bag of cat food, whisky, calls the cat and feeds it.
Can you feed me first?
Is it my fault that you don’t sell food in your bags?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №17218
 13.06.2009
I have Mr. Tomorrow. Three objects. They’re so different and yet they’re crazy together.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №17217
 13.06.2009
In the end, we all have an end.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17216
 13.06.2009
Two months ago the episode was on some channel.
Russia, a small town, a crisis. There is no work. There is a big city.
Manufacturing of glass and crystal. The owner –
A man with a German name. The company is arranged by the last word
Technically. Cleanness, order and comfort. A huge number of companies
vacancies, the salary is higher than the average at least once in three, but
No one works at the company for any reason.
The following picture shows the longest row in the employment fund. from
The ranks pull the man out, ask why he is arranging somewhere.
Somewhere else, not in a crystal-glass factory. The man looks at
The journalist, as a fool and offended and surprised responds - the master
The company is a real beast - punishes for passes and forces to work.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №17215
 13.06.2009
Many confuse mental work with a lack of physical work.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №17214
 13.06.2009
Talk with a girl in the subway:
What is your mobile number?
I have no mobile at all.
How is?
Well this is so. is not all. Why is he me?
Calling at work...
I have a worker I leave at work.
And in personal?
What kind of person, Katya? I get up at 3 in the morning, I leave the house at 4 in order to leave the bus at 4.30 and get to work at 8 in the morning. I’m not coming home before 9 p.m.
Well, like the clock...
I have a wake-up alarm. However, according to the military habit, I still get up 5 minutes before the "rise". A "like a clock" I have a watch.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №17213
 13.06.2009
Remove the capsule!! to

2: This is I hold the shift

1: Release

I can’t, then I’ll be like all the people on earth.

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17212
 13.06.2009
The girl with dark hair, in a fabricated shirt, who on Thursday, June 12, at 9 o’clock sat in the wagon at the station of Ladoga station, the beauty of which I looked... I will wait for you at the same station at the same time every Thursday of June.
Please go to /abyssbest.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №17211
 13.06.2009
Dialogues of poor students about engagement:
xxx: Well, let’s give away the crowns, your mother has gold crowns at home, you said, I remember.
Yyy: My dear, I’m not going to give my bride a ring made of my mom’s teeth!!! I say I will accumulate...
XXX: That is not the case. You give away the gold crowns, and you immediately make a ring of the same weight. Oh sweet...
Yyy: Remember, woman, I will accumulate on the ring!!! And to give a ring made of my own teeth, and even more, I will never be a foreign mother!!! clearly?? to
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 103 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17210
 12.06.2009
It was released by "Honest Detective". A girl came to the detective and said that she felt suspicious that her husband was bringing home a lot of money. Detectives conduct an investigation as a result of which, the husband is put in jail...well, didn’t he?? to

[ + 78 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17209
 12.06.2009

Puppy guys, be careful! I went with a child from the kindergarten, two came to the kindergarten. First they offered a acquaintance, then one of them grabbed the child and dragged somewhere. Sorry for him. My faithful "Osa" broke him his male sexual fox. The second in panic fled, abandoning his shareholder. I called an ambulance, a police. She told me how it was. I was not even told a word, and the young Homo sapiens was accused of trying to kidnap a child and imprisoned for 8 years.

The Loving Mother, Mr. Kishinev

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №17208
 12.06.2009
bring the plz to the top, or people will dream of glintwein as unattainable perfection!
----------------
I worked as a bartender for two years.

wine from barbecue© (Alt+NUM 0169)

Red/White Main Semi-Sweet Wine - 0.25
apples / oranges / lemon - 2/1/0,33
Tagged with: 3 "bottles"
Cannabis – three slices.
honey / vanilla - by taste, 1/2 oz.(the units)

and boiling.

by Voila.

cat odmin itede - bring to the top - drink the right glint wine (:

In order of shit.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №17207
 12.06.2009
Excerpt from a sports newspaper:

And now guess why are they flashing the far light in Finland? I’ll tell you, too, to reduce the speed. There is no courageous guard of order. Loose there. Or an eagle.

You are fucking! We are not right so!! They also indicate that there is a deer ahead. Or a deer, a goat, a lamb.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №17206
 12.06.2009
xxx: the hell, what I need is not googling on the request "hunk from the Pharaoh", I wonder what this hunk is called and what it is from.)))
YYY: What is it? O_O
This is a scourge, many of the Pharaohs have it.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Is this not the red and white crown symbolizing the unification of upper and lower Egypt?
Do you expect a reasonable answer on this question from the man who calls this the ‘blasphemy of Pharaoh’?

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №17205
 12.06.2009
Well, what can I say, if Prometheus had not set fire on the gods and brought it to the people, we would still freeze eggs on the snow and eat raw mammoths.

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17204
 12.06.2009
Two o’clock at night, you want to sleep and you can’t. Because 50 people don’t sleep, they sit and wait for your strawberries to mature.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №17203
 12.06.2009
(in the ASCII)
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What is invisible?
I am encrypted.
Is it the FBI? and :)
Wauu - Cru
Do you paint? ?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №17202
 12.06.2009
Thoughtful Fox: Come you to me, a double sofa.
Thoughtful Fox: a double sofa is not an appeal, but a justification of the proposal

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna