How to talk to a girl:
xxx: You say she’s watching a telephone... first you need to distract her from it and turn your attention to you. for example, type unknowingly include her any porn (if there is a video or DVD player), then immediately apologize type accidentally was, well, and then the matter of technology.. the main thing is not to turn off immediately, so that she understands the hint
yyy: Maybe he still gets a member and suddenly shakes them in front of her face, then immediately apologize for the type of accident.

My cousin brother came to me at the country, only meat was removed from the mangal and there was the sound of his scooter.

I ate 3 shampoos of meat (I said the meat was rough and tried to teach me how to marinate meat)
He drank three and a half beers (drinking and saying that Jigulevsky is full and he doesn’t drink)
The type he would never have taken (I understand that the accent is not the top of the Korean automotive industry... but in the summer of 30 he is running on a scooter to the scratch)
He found a bottle of vodka in the refrigerator and drank it in one face.
Until 4 a.m. he did not sleep... he sang songs in the courtyard, swallowed on his wing and fell asleep in a sun lounge on the street...


In the morning we got up, cleaned up the wing, closed the house, plunged into the car and left.
Before that, I personally ate a piece of gas on his scooter.



It is.
9 km to the city, 15 km to his home.

I went to Hulk 2.
And here’s the scene where Edward Norton dropped a girl in bed, but then says:
We will not succeed anything. I can’t get excited...
From the hall a male rooster is spread, and then next to this a female voice: that you roar, you can’t too!
The whole cinema was crying.

In order to get contracts,

need to have contacts.

I am a pharmacist. Many think it is a quiet and easy profession.

The morning. Opened the pharmacy, comes a pretty decent woman, 45 years old, and

Do-o-lgo goes to the pharmacy, looking carefully at everything. Then comes the

He asks me, can you advise me? Yes, of course, as I can

Help, what specifically interests you? Go out to the shopping hall.

Please! I – what did you want to ask? She - What, to you

is difficult? Okay I went out. We go to the distant windows... Aunt is inclined

He asks me, “Child, do you have an education?” I am

- so far calm - well, if you count five years of pharmacology college, then probably,

is there?

Is it medical?

I - yes, it is medical, we can even have a doctor's correct appointment

to check.

Then she is protective: Well then bring me a contraceptive!

I am what? She - what you were taught there, you are all lying, shit sellers!

I’m trying to reassure you – you need pills, something external, injections,

The plaster? She - you know nothing, but you sell, hate, chase such and must.

Close it all! And he leaves.

How is it possible? I didn’t say if I used anything before.

clearly no - once I didn't even understand what they asked, didn't explain for what

situation - maybe she has a condom for one time, or maybe a Depo-Prover injection

for six months immediately, or maybe - just decided to take the pills, not for

sex, and so that the acne passes - and this happens - what should I guess?

Once I came to the doctor, I need to tell you what help is needed.

Ideally, of course, and analysis to show.

Okay, of course, they’re upset and... k, but I think she might have it.

Climax, let it be angry.

Maybe it was such a day!

After an hour, a woman came in and asked “the cheapest.”

condoms" - and we had the Russian "Eros" - I clarified, for every

The case is unreliable, I say, they are only for honey. Research types of UTI

Take it! If necessary, it is a bit more expensive, but normal.

She replied, No, for my husband.

Is it from the husband children does not happen, as she thinks, even if the product No. 2

Did you think anything wrong with taking such things specifically?

And that’s not all – then a woman in a expensive shirt came and asked, “I’m

The contraceptives!” I am already innerly stressed, asking what you are.

Do you prefer?

She: "I am a vegan, on a diet and overall health care, so my guru

I said I can’t take hormone drugs – they’re the same.

Made from animals!

Do you have condoms, for example?

She said, “No, it’s uncomfortable, they feel different.”

I: "Maybe candles or vaginal pills? Do you want to put a spiral?

She said, “No! Give me homeopathic contraceptives!”

Homeopathy is the type of taking a bee and wasting it.

Alcohol, then managed to soften half a kilo of sugar beans... and

Take the drug "Apis" three times a day for six peas for six months.

In general, these are very long-lasting medicines for chronic diseases.

It is impossible to protect homeopathy from pregnancy.

I explain to a woman - there are no homeopathic contraceptives!

She is like this, all drugs are homeopathic, so that is! What

You are rubbing me here, picking up visitors from the village, they know nothing,

only the flocks grow and shake them, to chase everyone, the limit

It is illiterate!

is leaving. About the strawberries is, apparently, my strawberry... Although I am a descendant

Peterburgen, I didn’t say anything bad about that, polite.

and farewell.

The young man comes in, standing in front of the window with condoms, proudly

He tells me, “Blue moon!”

I ask, “Do you know what these condoms are for?”

He said, “What? Give me the promise!” I understand that the client attracted the name...

The song was then, Boris Moiseev, many liked it.

I explain quietly and clearly, “This is for anal sex.”

The boy insulted, “Why are you helping the pedics here? such shit

must be kept under the shelf, or in shops for perversion! to me

normal prejudices are needed, XXL - where did I know that there are all the goats

They are chasing the wicked!”

I asked, “Are you normal? Or with rings, buds, spermicidal

Anesthetic or anesthetic? That’s all for normal people, what do you?”

The guy grabs the first box and runs away shouting, “Well,

The goats! “P is R!”

And the curtain! Into death drunk aunt with a fingering and smoking on

package from which the used test is obtained to determine

Pregnancy with which something drops.

And it begins with a good voice of market trading:

“You, wow, you sold me the wrong fake test! Give money

back to! Russian test, 8 re price. I did it, and it was wrong.

It shows!”

I wonder, is it tonight, did you use the test now?

She is: Yes! I said, “Did you drink alcohol?” She said, “I haven’t drank vodka.

“Only beer!”

For a reliable test result, you should not drink for a day.

before testing - to get alcohol and its metabolites out of the body

Go out and get tested in the morning. Everything is written in the instructions!”

She, hearing nothing, for a while cries and cries, and then,

I tried to break the window and saw that it finally flew out of the fence.

"guard" - my shifter with a scissor to rub meat guard that day

not appeared at all, because they confused the changes of duty - somebody

I did not pay the IDD, and whoever did not go to work, the aunt was scared and left.



I talked to the change officer, told me what today is the "Festival of Open Days".

In the psychiatric room and gave the box. He was left alone at the pharmacy to work.

That’s why I brought a toporik. Then the director called and asked.

I’ll stay in the night too, instead of guarding.

In a drunk state it is difficult to express:

1st Innovative

2nd Consultative

Three Annihilation

4 is The transatlantic



Very difficult to say:

1st Calculated

2nd Poorly Coordinated

Three existentially

4 is Satisfactory



Absolutely impossible to say:

1st Thank you, but we won’t have sex with you today.

2nd I don’t want whiskey anymore.

Three Sorry, but you are not my type.

4 is The McDock? No, thank you, I don’t want to eat.

5 is Why should I call him at two o’clock at night?

6 is Oh, I can not! No one wants to hear me sing.

The bear in the ear!

7 is I am not going to fight with you.

8 is Thank you, but I don't even want to try to dance - I'm broken

and coordination. I don’t want to look bad!

9 is Where is the nearest toilet? I am not going to park.

I go to the metro. The train stops between the stations. We have been standing for a few minutes. And here in the grave silence: "Government is missing..."

The older brother (01:16:50 14/06/2008)
Let me give you a topic, and I will have to put it in poems.

Shame_Begemot (01:17:41 14/06/2008)
Sofia rotar gives a concert in the men’s toilet of Pavelecki station)))

Oldest Brother (01:58:12 14/06/2008)
Men’s toilet, Pavelecki station
Practically the capital.
He lived a century in a measured rhythm:
Cleaning, night and new faces.

Usually, but on the weekend.
He was thrown away by the feeble,
The fate of fate, fate of fate.
Like a thunderstorm in the clear sky:

The event! Concert on this day.
In a man’s case.
Sophie participated in it.
and rotar. The people were not embarrassed.

Everyone listened to the lady of the Balzac years.
Not yet able to empty.
You can believe, you can not.
Maybe it will happen.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
I don’t want to distract you from the exams, but I still have to get drunk.

You are my most attentive, the most caring.
See also: AGA
She: I will all boast that you complained about the heat in the office, and the lack of cool water, and you came up with freezing ice cubes at home, and even did it yourself.
See also: AGA
She: I’m just melting from such anxiety as the ice you’ve put in my bag since tonight!!! and gt;
He is: Oh

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WOW: Congratulations categorically
Emm... how is it?
Hm... Well type "Hello and Nibet!"

After death, all clowns go to McDonald’s.! to


And all the foolish jokers at the Petrosian concert

Clash: Today in the broadcast "Good Morning" on the first channel talked about Euro 2008. And they touched the topic that when a country wins a match or becomes a champion, then there on the joys most go to have sex, such as a demographic rise. I now understand why we have a demographic crisis in our country.

< xxx > who believes in Russia?? to
< nn > I believe it exists

I started dating her!!! to
feliot: o o curta))
steel: finally somebody who really loves me... I'll meet you soon))
Feliot: When you meet us, she will leave you.
Is it because of you?
Feliot: Nea...just because you have friends idiots))

I am mega cool.
I caught a fly.
XXX: She is shaking in her hand
XXX: I'll put it on the system.
I will call her Mom.
XXX: I will have a hand beast.

...
XXX is fucking.
xxx: she flew into the cooler
xxxx: her eyebrows roll on the bottom of the body (
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Today I am in the universe, in the Copy Center. Waiting for the papers to be printed. A group of female designers. I ask them: "Type, what do you give to your department for the defense of the diploma?"
They are: "Printer". The rumors were silent. "Which year has already printed." Still remain silent. "They probably don’t know that the cartridges can be changed..."

@Dingo (13:14:04 13/06/2008)
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I am a bachelor.
Sergey (13:24:12 13/06/2008)
Why so happy?
@Dingo (13:24:40 13/06/2008)
May is the first in 4 years!! to
Sergey (13:24:50 13/06/2008)
and 😉

Dear Administration!

Improve the top of the Abyss!

1) Make at least 50 quotes, please, tearfully please!

2) Make the reverse order, that is, to read from the last quote to the leader (top 50th quote, and scrolling down you approach the most funny).

3) Please make the first two points, at least once consider the wishes of the simple reader from the Abyss.

Yes, something is not moving the matter, let's arrange this offer for an Offgen rating, maybe at least then the admin will listen.

Dear Administration,
I drank here and decided to get rid of one of Bash's problems as much as possible. Many complain that they have taken quotes on a particular topic, for example on the topic of "anime" or "tops" or "case at work". You can solve this problem in a simple but years-tested way - make it possible when adding a quote to add several tags such as "anime, IT humor, stupidity" and so on. And also the ability to configure for yourself which quotes to display in the main.
I think the people will support me, and propulsion the quote :)
idea by qter