I sit in the kitchen, in the guests. There are two sisters and their mother with me.
My mom is chewing. Accordingly, it takes the mouth, eggs. Then one sister begins to say to her mother:
1 sister: Mom, there is still pain in the bank.
Mom: Oh the pain. It is crumb.

An awkward pause.

2 sister: yeah... what did you do with this "muchi" cake?
The hysterical laughter of everyone.
Is that the cake I didn’t get?
One sister (almost not crying)
2 sister: and I think why my boyfriend did not go out of the toilet for half an hour after the cake, and then said "Now I know how to rub bricks" :D

was at the wedding. Without a husband. I spent the night with a friend and unexpectedly forgot her cowards. and chess. The word "unexpected" and "in it"!!!He won the competition with children, yellow. My husband calls:
Are you going?
I am going.
What are you lucky?
(Without a backthink) The horn!
There was no limit to indignation!
That is OK! But when he learned about the cowards...

With all cloud tariffs, human heat is the most expensive.

A guy in the pharmacy in front of me asked for a nipple, a larger size.
“Yes, they are all the same,” the pharmacist wondered, “you for what age?” the guy jokingly replied, “24! I take myself!” in the eyes of the pharmacist jumped unbelievable scorns. The man was of normal orientation. The nipple was not attached to his brutal brave face. “A friend advised,” the guy explained, “is a proven method. It turns out, if a man falls asleep with a nipple in his mouth, he will not release it until the morning. The baby reflex is turned on.
It is impossible to squeeze. Let her wife roar as much as she wants, but she will sleep!”I thinkfully take off the hat before this guy...

Dear road drivers who removed the asphalt on the road in the Sofrinsky direction!
Thank you very much! There has never been such a straight road.
Please do not put the asphalt back there. Let at least a piece of the road in Russia be straight.

XXX is Hi. With whom am I talking?
and Alexei.
XXX: I understand, and what is your name?
YYY: O_O

I think the whole chach-chak should only be done by one company. OOO "Norris-Norris"

News on Rambler:

The team of pilots conducted flight tests of the new Boeing 747-8 Freighter cargo aircraft, flying from Seattle to Pittsburgh for sandwiches.

The first comment:

Do not let God tell you so!

and c)

Call to OK:
- Hello, I am calling for work, vacancy "advisor (without work experience)".
– so...
The matter is what? You know... *changing* I have experience in a similar position for 2 years...Nothing terrible?

Asking about the Russian post is useless. At the last meeting, the minister said he was afraid of her.

XXX: I have passed the passport! I am a big boy.
YYY: 20 what has happened?
Xxx: 40

The real story - told the acquaintance (z):

I stand and clean my clothes. Next to the couch is my 4-year-old son. The further dialogue:
“Mom, do you remember I called you a bitch?”
I remember you want to apologize?
No, I just remembered...

It is wrong: NEVER!! The men!! Do you hear me? never ever!! Never try to shave eggs with a depilation cream((((((((((((((((

Today on the radio said: "Onishchenko said that the alcohol should not be poured into a large plastic bowl, because it is very much.It would be much better if the beer was poured into a smaller bowl, for example, like corvalol! " Petriches were smoked there.

Archangel: Judging by the documents on our table, the brand symbols of our company are a half-round spot from a cup of coffee, a footprint from a 45-size shoe and a killed mosquito.

XXX I have an exam. Blame me tomorrow.
YYY: You are an idiot! You had an exam yesterday.

Call for support:
The employee asks the client:" Do you have a computer that sees the flash?"
Customer:"see of course, here she is, I hold her in my hands"

I would love to know your inner world better.! to
Will the results of the gastroscopy suit?

XXX International Grandmother's Wedding Competition
The Russian grandmother tied her socks.
The Dutch grandmother couldn’t connect two words.
A Chinese grandmother connected an iPhone.
Somali grandmother binds all grandmothers and demands $3,000,000
yyy: So you can continue the variations yourself)
YYY: A Spanish grandmother tied a bull with a strap, and slaughtered him with spikes.
Yyy: Whatever the Brazilian grandmother does, a football ball comes out all the time.
yyy: An Estonian grandmother came to the contest three days after it was finished.
Yyy: The Japanese grandmother connected the most things. In the sixth hand.

Q: Do you know any single girls?
No, not just fighting friends.