bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №129533
 17.06.2016
Here I thought.
And why did everyone decide what a young girl is reading on the couch?
The age is not indicated! My friend at the age of 50 could do that. And the mother-in-law could well have come to her visit with such a message. Or do we read only one "Achrenevil youth, at least something useful"???? to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129532
 17.06.2016
To fuck about doctors...I am a doctor-intern in a district clinic. I live in the box of the hospital like a salary of 1500 hryvnia (about 60 backs) is not always enough for food. It is necessary, by direct decree of the management, to make a bunch of papers so that the statistics are normal, or the indicators on morbidity and mortality will not be so iridescent. The burden is not childish, the majority of patients we all owe to the grave of life and they know exactly how they are treated, and we are idiots...And so yes, I am a corrupt and a briber – they brought me a pack of spices...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129531
 17.06.2016
>> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Documents in court. The result is deprivation of v. The overwhelming circumstance – over the course of the year the same violation, when I was on a bicycle at all.? to

This is so. We know, we have seen. You, wondering at the letter M", then you will sit on your own bicycle under the nose of the neighboring bus, making yourself a steel sandwich with meat. You, wonder, miraculously remained alive in the sandwich (the bus driver got away with a slight fright, only slightly pressing your steering wheel), you will sit on four wheels, you will think that no sign you are not a decree, once "pure field", and you will hardly fit in the mouth of me, passing the left turn, with the road closed from you, forcing you to urgently brake and lose the rear bumper. No, Noah, you’re not in business, you’re going on, shit.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129530
 17.06.2016
PM: 40 units is a whole room))
PM: there can be stored a yard, for example)
Unwarkz: Or the cleaner =)))
Q: If the carpenter and the cleaner, then in 9 months, the electrician can appear in the 8th unit cabinet
PM: That is how you can complete the selection and the odin to grow!
Unwarkz: This is a data center!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129529
 17.06.2016
by Toaster
Question: How do I get a screenshot of the Debian terminal?
Comment: One of my acquaintances perverted the control of the system through the image!!! which the server downloads with an interval per minute from the specified URL. The picture is packed in the archive. The performance of the team is also sent as a picture. It is also packed in the archive. He’s just 10 years old as a servant. He is dumb bored. He has a housekeeper in his tea. Even the water can be boiled in the cup!!! I see you just starting to get so excited. The main thing is to remember the rule. You need to be able to stop in time!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129528
 17.06.2016
It was not so there!

A brick floats on the river.
Wood like glass.
Let him swim.
We don’t need a foam!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129527
 17.06.2016
111: A brick slips on the wall,
It is hairy like a tram.
This song is about love.
Do not forget her.

222: No, it was not so! Another option:
Through the river flows a tail from Hueva-Kukuev.
Let him swim. A fly is a plane.

333 Maybe it was like this:
A tail floats on the river.
wood like a brick,
Let him swim,
We don’t need a foam.

Chapter 444: The Thieves This is how:
A brick floats on the river
From the village of Kukova.
Let him swim,
The Iron Eve.

And the same poem in the language of William our Shakespeare:
A brick is floating down the river
From the town of Byron.
And we will let it float along,
F*cking piece of iron.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129526
 17.06.2016
The chaos will not be invented. I am sure that somewhere on Ali there will be a chair with the function of pumping watermelon and a bath-gassing machine.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129525
 16.06.2016
I fix mini-translations and put them on a joyeractor with pictures. The rating is 4-6.
Yesterday for the sake of rugby posted a photo from football with a fun comment. and what? Rating 57.3, getting to the main page and achievement "For creating the best".
"Our people love all kinds of shit" (c) S. Schnurov

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129524
 16.06.2016
This year, being behind the wheel, I surpassed the slowly crawling GAZEL. The road is straight, there is no mark. It is worth a sign of "bending is prohibited" in a clean field and the end of its action after a few kilometers.
— — —
It’s like your first year driving. Such areas are a constant feedstock of gauges, and the gazelles don't just crawl on them.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129523
 16.06.2016
The truth to the passengers should be said, and the problems will be much less.
If you tell the truth, the passengers will go mad.
Example - "Flight N is delayed for technical reasons. At the pre-flight inspection of the air force of the ITS was noticed the bended scapula of the ventilator of the right engine. During 20 minutes, the aircraft technician Kuzyavkin Mithody Kuzmich with the help of a cuvalda and some mother will correct the shoulder. The delay will not affect the time of arrival at the destination airport. Thank you for choosing our company!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129522
 16.06.2016
20592 “Paper Rat” Methodist of the Dean.
Take a vacation, set up a carpenter in some typewriter, RA or something like that. In a month, these "35 really smart people" with their creations will seem to you exceptionally cute and adequate people, and in their texts there are just minor misunderstandings.
Everything is known in comparison.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129521
 16.06.2016
The rules are written to walk. in the rules. It is written. Most of the rules are written on blood. Are you waiting for your blood there?

///////////////////////////////

Do not hinder. I need to write additions and changes.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129520
 16.06.2016
When three years ago I was giving birth under a contract for a round amount in one of the best and most modern maternity homes in Moscow, there was such an unregistered one in the neighbouring maternity room without exchange cards and analyses. In Russian she knew only "Oh-Oh! Go to"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I will support. A little less than three years ago I gave birth completely free of charge in the only nursery of our small Ural town. No bombers and gasterbeaters, I don’t know where they’re hiding. The medical staff is attentive and professional, no hassle. Good repair and decent food.
In the regional center, our friend gave birth to the linen and the mud (papa is a doctor with a position and connections) - tells horrors, fears to give birth to the second.
A lottery short.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №129519
 16.06.2016
He paid for kindergarten at the Sberbank branch - they demanded a passport. At the question “Why” explained that this is done in order to counter the legalization (laundering) of income obtained by criminal means, and the financing of terrorism.

I always suspected that something was wrong with our garden!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129518
 16.06.2016
The case was in the late 1980s. A friend married the daughter of the colonel of the KGB, and we, friends, were not invited to the wedding, said, there his circle, then yes, and the father of the bride banned. And even before the wedding half a year ran a stunned man and said everything:

Oh my God! This is such a girl! Such a girl! She has a belt in karate. The daughter of the KGB colonel.



I have to say that a friend was a guy attractive and scary baby, and such loves happened to him three times a day. Miss Riga, then some incredibly beautiful student of theatre, then who else. In general, we did not pay attention to another love, but it is a pity.



Our friend fell like a chicken in a fist and disappeared after the wedding for a while. Then there is a blue under the eye. After long interrogations, he wavered: he came home subdued, began to push his right, and his wife just in the hallway grabbed him from his feet.

He sat down another clock and went away, saying goodbye.

I am afraid of her.



After a while, I got a phone call from my apartment at seven in the morning. I open, stands on the threshold of our unforgettable friend and begins to beg to give him in the eye. I ask nothing, and he begins to tell you that he did not sleep at home, that he is crazy, that he does not know how to explain to his wife, that the aunt scared him with terrible things for betrayal and that if I give him a good eye, he will tell at home that he fought and spent the night in a lie.

You understand! That is logical! I can’t cheat with the red!



I have convinced. Targeting, I carefully lit him in the eye. A friend nodded his head and ran into the bathroom to see the result. There was no blue, so little redness.

– Yes not! It will not go! Bigger than BEY!

No longer restrained and not targeted, I walked him to the left. The friend moved well, and he ran back to the bathroom. There was no blue, indeed, the whisk was swollen with a good yellow.

What will I show? ! to A knot on the forehead? ! to They will not believe me! In the eyes of Bay!



Angry, I struck him straight in the head. A friend slipped on the wall, blood flowed from his broken nose. After fainting, he began to sprinkled blood on his shirt and said:

is excellent. and. and. Thank you, thank you and. and. What should be. and. and. All that, I ran away. and. and.



He appeared the next day in dark glasses with a swollen nose, two bottles of vodka and proudly stated:

A broken nose. With the shift!

He said that at home he was accepted, regretted, believed and let go to his friends with a pure heart.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №129517
 16.06.2016
We have a pedestrian passage in the city, in the central market. There is constant confusion there. When the red still burns, there is no movement, and people with a huge crowd begin to cross the road. But the fact is that for drivers still burns green. Just the connection there is like that, a little crazy and for me still incomprehensible.

I watched the picture today. A grandmother with her grandson and granddaughter, who are five years old, runs to a pedestrian crossing to get time on the green. But he warned when they were five meters from the road.

Then there was a dialogue between grandmother (B) and grandson (B).

B is Sasha! Go ahead soon! Go to!

A: (with an absolutely calm voice) Grandma, I won’t go. Do you see the red light burning?

B: Sasha, you are your mother, go! They are all passing!

A: You, if you want, go and I’ll wait for green. I won’t let Lisa go red.

And Sasha pulled his hand out of his grandmother’s hand, and took his sister’s hand.

The grandmother cried something, but because of the noise was not heard. But in the end they crossed the road only on the green light.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129516
 16.06.2016
Some time ago, studying in the universe, she witnessed a conversation between a guy and a girl, apparently fellow groups. The guy emotionally told him that he, say, asked to write a reference (on which discipline I don't know) and he, as usual, stupidly downloaded it from the internet, without reading.

In the words of the guy:

- Imagine, I decided, while driving in the road, still to read this report. And I have there in the text: "I, as a member of the Chelyabinsk region...". Glad I didn’t give up.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129515
 16.06.2016
I was sitting in a bar with my friends. Then suddenly came the morning. The condition is already such that I could not call a taxi myself and my friends generously did it for me. So a taxi comes in, I go out with friends, I sit down, we went. Come to the address. I had no money, only a card. He talks to me 500. I was looking for money in my pockets for a long time, as I was already good from the local spill. I searched all my pockets and said I only have a card, no cash.

What do you think he says! ? to

T is goodbye. and. and.

I mean goodbye, and pay for the trip?

Your friends have already paid for you.

He asks what! ? to ! to ? to ! to ? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129514
 16.06.2016
Melting, the password does not fit.
Adamych©: login: Administrator.... that I didn’t invent...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna