bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114859
 15.06.2015
I sit in the car and smoke. A mosquito flew, zero reaction on me, sat down on the back of the seat and began to knit him, squeezing his hood at the very least.
He didn’t even squeeze him, the fucker knows what he has in mind.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114858
 15.06.2015
(My mother is a doctor)
M: 10.44 What is your Dim foot size? For any case.
I: 10.46 by Dima 42
13:15 O Lord! I forgot what I was asking and thought he had a fever!

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114857
 15.06.2015
It is 7 winds. And this new chip of Microsoft with an independent update on 10 wheels just got. Remove and squeeze. does not succeed. All the forums have broken. But the way out was genius. Just take and rename the folder and the track will not just know where to update. Microsoft is clearly not ready for our smart ?
Z is. And many are now on their foreheads "CHRY" with the words "EXACTLY BLA!" ))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114856
 15.06.2015
Then I will share)
My cat’s name is Scaly, but not in honor of Agent Scally. This is a reduction. From Scalopendra. When I brought her home from the street, dirty and hungry (eternally hungry!!!She was hiding wherever she was. But it was worth only to see the bowl, she splashed on the pulp and fast-paced with her legs, bending the frogs toward food))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114855
 15.06.2015
XXX: yyy, sit down now, listen to my advice and never forget it
The best thing you can do for yourself and those you love is never, even so, NEVER buy a full-drive car!
YYY : Why?
For one day you will call from the moon or Mars with the words "I don't know how I got here, but I think I need an evacuator."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114854
 15.06.2015
to this:
I saw a man with a iron fist. The man poured coffee on himself in the pub (the cover was tightly wrapped on the cup), said "ups" (UPS, Carl), laughed, began to wipe out coffee from the clothes, table and bag and sent the child to the box to ask for more towels. Yes, the man was with a preschool child.
Is this Zen so perceived from the appearance of a child in which it is not possible to mother? Maybe try too?

I was raised in a decent family.
Rubicon fell asleep when mat became the norm, if anything.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114853
 15.06.2015
"And why do the Austrians have a pair or three of players shirts so stretching?"
I say: "Surely this form they have"
She: "Then, after all, the other shirts are spaciously sitting, and these have arranged erotic here!"
I looked, and it is true. Men and women see football differently.
----------
And imagine how differently we look at art gymnastics, figure skating and synchronous swimming!

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114852
 15.06.2015
Are you familiar with the service "tracking mail" by email ID on the Internet?
_________________________________________________________________________

Of the 10 packages, more than half were still allegedly going, although they were received three or four days ago. Here is your entire service.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114851
 15.06.2015
My wife recently gave birth and it was all surrounded.
The eldest son comes in and says, “Dad, take your hands off my brother’s lunch!” Do you enjoy when your food is touched by other people’s hands?? to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114850
 15.06.2015
The Smart:

In fact, in the late Middle Ages, it was not for religious reasons that sudden morality occurred (religion played a significant role before) - and because of the spread of syphilis.

Syphilis arrived in Europe from South America. What is Late Middle Ages? Learn the game before teaching others!
--------

Later Middle Ages - the period of European history in the XIV-XVI centuries.
Columbus first sailed to the Americas from August 2, 1492 to March 15, 1493.
What is the contradiction?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114849
 15.06.2015
(See the horror on the net)
P: Forever GH climbs unclear where and not clear why
D: I’m alone here in the hut.
D: But I have a drill.
D: If it’s lonely and scary, I’ll start drilling walls.
P: That’s why they do this.
P: They’re just lonely people who are scared.
(They are

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114848
 15.06.2015
In Russia, for centuries, the genealogy was conducted on the male line. If a man dies without leaving an heir, the ROD is interrupted.
This is why Nekrasov wrote: "The family is one big one, and two people, all."
Anyone who doesn’t like it can go to Israel.
____________________________
Not only in Russia, but all over the world. Well, they did not consider a woman a man (which, in general, is strange - the mother is almost always 100% known, but the father is not).
Per, only the rise of the Roman Empire on the rights of women can be compared to the modern world - women inherited equally with men, had independence, and the legal status of the child was determined by the status of his mother.
Also, rape (Roman citizens, of course) was a serious crime in which there was no fault of the victim. But in the following centuries, Christianity has somehow become accustomed to the position of "the guilty himself."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114847
 15.06.2015
The old men did not suffer. Then came the King friend. We need such friends.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114846
 15.06.2015
When I entered the village toilet, I did not expect to find the full set of things needed for such a facility: a hole covered with a stool, a deep hole underneath it, toilet paper and (attention!) The Yorkshire!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114845
 15.06.2015
The minimum wage, like free medicine, exists to ensure that a person does not die. If you want comfort, pay.
You live under capitalism.
— — —
Is that fucking free? Well, those who do not pay taxes, it gets to the hole, and the rest very even for money. It turns out that give the state the deductions, and for the treatment and comfort of the shit to the private people again for the money, did you mean it?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114844
 15.06.2015
I will explain:
I add, and I am not funny here:

We have normal medicine, and doctors are good. People are unconscious.

>>...Early diagnosis and treatment, you say? Medicine and doctors are good, but they can do little.
____
My mother is a doctor, but for a long time not in the reception, but in the highest administrative instance. Coming from any meetings/conferences says they don’t work at all. Our state is doing everything to make patients hate doctors and doctors hate patients. Even if in some state hospital there is excellent management with talented doctors and excellent managers, they are not allowed to do anything. There is no money, no medicines, no equipment, nothing to reorganize to improve the efficiency of work is not given.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114843
 15.06.2015
I’m sitting between Siri and Galaxy, I think they’d ask. The man says, “And you know in one how she treats the other, and let the other listen.” This is man’s deceit. What to do, I ask: "Galaxy, how do you treat Apple?" She: "What are you hinting at?". Siri replied, “Sorry, I don’t understand what you’re asking about.” Tactical girls did without scratching their eyes. We drink all four.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114842
 15.06.2015
Answers to

What does it mean if I dream of a half-dead cat?
Q: This means that you are thinking negatively and pessimistically. Otherwise, you would dream of a half-lived cat.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114841
 15.06.2015
xxx: We sit on a presentation of the servers of one company. The lecturer talks about the advantages.
xxx: Suddenly one guy stands up and goes out.
XXX: The lecturer asks him - did you not like the presentation?
xxx: "No, everything is OK norm, I just have your servax on the job"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114840
 15.06.2015
Recently, I chose jeans in the store, and I was approached by a not enough active manager (well or who she is there) with her "help" advice. I had no specific questions, but to speed up the process asked:
Are they cotton?
“Well, what a cotton, we have a 100% cotton!”! to
I still don’t understand why she depended on my subsequent request to bring a volley sweater...

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