bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141996
 07.06.2017
From the discussion of social network Ukrainians
xxx: You can't add friends, you can't write messages...who needs such a social network?
I am introverted.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141995
 07.06.2017
Zzz: Tracing a bunch of textbooks for schoolchildren was invented by chance. In the future, if there was a war, they would not use a heavy PCM with ammunition.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141994
 07.06.2017
xxx: It’s uncomfortable to be at the doctor’s appointment, to see how he looks at the results of the examination and to read on his lips.
Yyy: It’s uncomfortable to be at the doctor’s office and see him googling a diagnosis.
Zzzz: I’ve had it recently. The traumatologist looked at the symptoms in Wikipedia.
Fuck, I was joking now. The hero...
xxx: >guglit >Wikipedia My friend ohuel when the pediatrician went for answers mail ro

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141993
 07.06.2017
They invited a childhood friend and their four-year-old daughter came with them. The girl brought an old hamster to "Homa’s grass". The hamster will not have time to enjoy freedom, as the corshun fell from the sky and took it away. The girl in rev. The parents try to calm her, say sorry for Hom and all that... And the girl is like this, crying through:
No wonder, he would have died soon. My grandfather and I had a funeral on Thursday.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №141992
 07.06.2017
There is no doubt that Android is eating a lot. Three hours a day on charge. I spend so much time in the kitchen. I immediately cling to him. Whatever it is, company. I often say machinewise:
Go to Havana, my friend!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141991
 07.06.2017
90% of signatures filed against the renovation program in Moscow are invalid.
In fact, that’s all you need to know about making decisions in this country :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141990
 07.06.2017
To the shit about pension contributions and varied salaries.

Rules are set by the state. Wonder why the state did not establish the simplest rule: the employer gives the employee the agreed salary, the employee himself lists all taxes, fees and salary contributions? It would seem: the problem of "grey" is solved, it is unprofitable for the employer to underestimate - this is his expenses; who has not listed contributions - the fool himself and reduced his pension.

Answer: After a person received a salary and the state stood up with the demand of the majority - a person ceases to whisper about the chamber-director and begins to be very actively interested in where such a breakthrough to the state. And if all these amounts are shaken from the director - he, of course, will hide and minimize part, but will direct dissatisfaction to himself, not to the state.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141989
 07.06.2017
They usually think and feel in different places.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141988
 07.06.2017
The money is scarce, and the kids ask for ice cream. Okay, I’ll buy one brick, it’ll be divided into two.
At home, my husband is watching me break my shopping bag.
This is a good ice cream, I like it. You bought one, right? And the children?! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141987
 07.06.2017
Putin came to the guess, and she said to him:
You only have one more summer to be president, and then you will not be re-elected.
“There will be no more summer,” Putin said.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141986
 07.06.2017
I was talking to a girl who decided to search for her happiness on a dating site. It complains:

xxx: I'm writing some unsuspecting)) I think maybe I'm too

yyy: This is the zoo there) Excellent on such sites)

I agree with you.....) how people get married and get acquainted on sites) I think it’s not real.

yyy: Funny that first wrote "to get married", and then already "to get acquainted") Very indicative, because often this is the case: a girl stumbles a guy in the ZAGS, and then it turns out that he goes to the woods with friends every weekend - training rollers or strike games) And it doesn't please her! But she was so focused on marriage that she forgot to meet her future husband properly.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №141985
 07.06.2017
> under the threat of a gun demanded a shaurma

But they had only a shovel, and they even refused to go to Moscow under a gun.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141984
 07.06.2017
Encountered the list of school teams "What Where When" (about a thousand), ran through the gaze - fireworks of deceit. I felt the same feeling when I read the list of clans in Skyford. Enjoy it :
The Unbelievable Adventures of Rahmaninov in Ashgabat, Copies of King Solomon, Tsar's Uchanka, Hegelmeister Bražnik, Papin-Sibirjak, Sauron on Niva, Ivan the Terrible, Shproty of Schrödinger, How I Met Your Mother, Tinnitus, Mantu's Thunder, Steel Cushion, Space First Beast, Petarda Sevistrunna, Yozik in the Nebula, Sevillan Hangover, Stalin's Sealed Blinds, Galactic Landscapes, End of Horse, Freud's Cushion, Command Combinate Combinate, A-Stades, Canary Chapel, The Last Day of Vineyard, Pure Potatoes, Into the Face, Absolute Moabinoid Eggs

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №141983
 07.06.2017
Jennie Hall
This is the difference of generations. A young girl in her 20s asked me how I feel about BDSM novels.
I don’t know what BDSM is. It is very similar to VLXM. I feel very negative to him, I replied.
What is VLXM? The girl asked.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141982
 07.06.2017
The stars celebrated the birthday of Alexander Pushkin by reading his poems.

Pushkin was upset and invited everyone to a personal meeting.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №141981
 07.06.2017
I live in Rwanda. Here I got the most adulterous article in one local magazine "What in the behavior of foreigners seems strange to the Rwandan". The author conducted a survey among the indigenous population and brought to the judgment of the reader the main points. What are the characteristics of representatives of foreign powers?

1st They ask too many questions. Politics, history, culture and so on. The Russians find this unacceptable.

2nd They dress carelessly. They rarely change clothes and shoes. They allow themselves to defile in a cheap costume. You have to dress so that no one thinks you are a miser, even if you are a miser – this is what the citizens of Rwanda see.

Three They eat and drink on the street. Do not feed the musung with bread, let the bull flow right on the street. Unknowingly, it is uncultural to eat at the table.

4 is Feelings on the street. They kiss and embrace. How can I? All tenderness is at home.

5 is Protecting the rights of homosexuals. Europeans love to prove that same-sex relationships are a normal thing. Who can and normal, and contrary to the Rwanda system of values. Let them say thank you that it is not in Uganda. They are still in prison for these excesses.

What conclusion can we draw? When you are in shorts, chewing your friend with one hand of non-traditional orientation, and the other hand compressing a sandwich, asking a Rwandan about the colonial past, he feels personal hostility to you, so that he can not eat. Respect the laws and customs of the host country.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141980
 06.06.2017
"Children poisoned with sweets "Angry Bees", found them on the street".

This is congenital, Kiss. Pick up the garbage and eat it. There are no words.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141979
 06.06.2017
Sitting his son is watching the site "Rescue egue" prepares for physics, after an hour of trials and mistakes declares:
-I have the feeling that we are studying different physics.Somebody would make a constructive proposal for the exam to issue the same substances under which these tasks were made.


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141978
 06.06.2017
xxx:Gyges, since the advertisement has seen fun, a company some rooftops industrializes. Like a telephone directory,
Fire on the roof - 01
The Roof - 02
The Roof - 03
I need a roof - company phone
I liked it :)
I would change the second and fourth rows by places, leaving the phones in place ;)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141977
 06.06.2017
XY: How many I’ve seen those TZs! Every time the same thing. A, yeah, here I forgot to write about it, but you do it again. "Normal TZ can only be a bit of a scrap - like two lesbians who know how to bring pleasure to each other.

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