bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114819
 14.06.2015
The protoplasm.

I’m so old that I’ve seen laptops with flop drives.
He saw him. I worked on such! The students...
We made them:
We supplied materials and drawings for their components.)
We made these drawings!

— — —
I remember once seeing that light is good, and separating light from darkness.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114818
 14.06.2015
The Pucks (Goblin)

Believe me, German duplication is ten times worse than ours. Indians jumping on horses and weapons: "Schneller, schneller! Los, los!" is clearly more violent than Faust Goethe."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114817
 14.06.2015
Does no one need a small piece of perforation? More clean

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114816
 14.06.2015
I have never overestimated the role of men in human life.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114815
 14.06.2015
Yesterday I stood in the center in the traffic jams, very long.I sit by the window, psychic and see in the nearby bus a girl who with a sad face wrote with a finger on the glass. I looked at it and it was written "Pizzac=(". I thought and wrote on my "Yes=(". I laughed :D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114814
 14.06.2015
Day of Russia is celebrated, so loudly, well. I will call the police if they continue. I answered "What are you, Banderovets?This country cannot be defeated.

*** by

This country will defeat itself.
- Dear most important ones, is it true that Serdyukov with Vasilyeva's chrenaliard sperm?
Do you criticize? What are you, Banker? Maybe you have a double?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114813
 14.06.2015
In school, as it was in the junior classes: pulled a girl for a puppy, it means she liked you, and if a wallet on the head - it is already love.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114812
 14.06.2015
On our roads we must look not only to the left, but also to the right, and even up.
Harekrshna: and the sanitary from the luck?
Vredtech: Mya...that’s what it means to rarely drive.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114811
 14.06.2015
A glutened navigator and a hundred verst not a hook

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №114810
 14.06.2015
Art of War
Leather V.I.After the 1st batch of lieutenants and staying in the wild, despite the winter, part of the squadron went home through the swamp. Vodka has already begun to act on Captain P., and he had difficulty "holding the horizon", he had to take under his hands and provide "help in piloting." Here is the top, below was a town, but before it to go and go in the likeness of a serpentine.
to stand! - Commanded by Captain P., listening to the senior by rank, the group stopped. A steep, icy slope, on which the children did not risk to ride on saucers, led straight to his home.
Behind me! - and Captain P., sewing his flight portfolio, slipped, gaining speed. A new record was set in the San Diego sport. The captain ended up at his entrance. More about the entrance...
I am B! He told me I broke my leg.
After descending the sprinter race, and picking up the victim under the arms, the group moved back to the railroad hospital. The surgeon identified a closed fracture of the ankle and applied a gips. After 15 minutes, the captain, all in his hands, was carried home. When carried by the miserable slope, he suddenly broke out of his hands and once again seized his portfolio, with which he did not break up, no one had time to do anything.
There are no two deaths. Captain P. cried out and slipped down the slope again.
From the state of the stupor of the debilitated pilots came a scream:
I am B! I broke my second leg.
When Captain P. was again taken to surgery, the surgeon had not yet had time to wash his hands from the plaster.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №114809
 14.06.2015
XHHH: The son wiped out
XHHH: stumbling with his fellow girlfriend, girlfriend
I say - you know, if you let go to rest with someone in the summer, it's with her, you don't drink and don't sleep.
The baby is looking at me.
XHH: and publish
HH: "and then why go with her like this?"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114808
 14.06.2015
What about the foot?
It is OK. Strained by the pile.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114807
 14.06.2015
The tariff of a single mobile operator, which is called "All", would be much more popular if you added "Oh" at the beginning.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114806
 14.06.2015
Especially for the wise man who believes that religion does not interfere with ordinary people.

Residents of the Krasnogardy district of St. Petersburg on June 13, 2015 held an action in defense of the park Malinovka, against its construction of a temple complex at the initiative of Deputy Vitaly Milonov.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114805
 14.06.2015
I am Robin Hood, I plunder the rich and give to the poor.
RG (scan the man)
RG: The object is poor!
RG: (giving a bag of gold)
I am Robin Hood, I plunder the rich and give to the poor.
RG (scan the man)
RG: The object is rich!
and----
We discuss in the working chat:

aaa: Infinite cycle :) No output conditions are prescribed :)
BBB: What could be the way out? It is like event-controlled programming: we passively and eternally wait for an external event, process it, and again go to waiting mode. In this case, external events come from a scanner that detects the rich and the poor.
bbb: Here the glue is more within iteration.
The easiest solution is to kill a rich man while taking away a bag of gold.
ccc: ah, and if the object is poor, give a bag, take and kill :D
ddd: The greatest thing about this algorithm is that Robin Hood himself is always with the bag.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114804
 14.06.2015
Situation: Some companies are waiting for the arrival of the mask show. Admin was told to think.
The admin, without dulling, encrypted the servacle with the trucryptor, wrote a batnik with the shuttle -m -s -t 0, installed Zekris, hanged the batnik performance on the arrival of the letter with the theme "kwa-kwa", to the boss... The boss said: "all create a draft of the letter" created... And only the admin, instead of the button "journal", hit the button "send" 8-0 under the finger
The company smoked for three hours while the servaques started...But checked :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114803
 14.06.2015
Our cat named Marisa gave birth to a beautiful colour cat girl "a-la siamca", the name was not picked for a long time. The kitten grew up and began to crawl around the apartment on its own, leaving the pebbles there and there, while the animal was small, the pebbles resembled what can be digged out of a pipette. My son is 8 years old and he’s called Pippa. This Pipetka, in turn, gave birth to a red cat, while he came up with the name, whispered it simply "cat". The little girl pronounced it as "cossack". They took part in a family game, the host asked the daughter - whether she has pets, and our smart woman replied - Yes, the cats Kosyak and Pipetka. The public was confused for a long time.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114802
 14.06.2015
A mental crisis is when you don’t even do anything and still don’t leave the feeling that you are doing something wrong.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №114801
 14.06.2015
The parents of the acquaintance has a friend - he is a badger. I came to them from a journey. He turned on the telephone, then decided to wash, turned on the water in the bathroom and fell asleep. And they were all at work at this time...In short, the water flowed from the bathroom to the corridor, went into the room and of course the neighbors were poured down. The neighbor from below, with a scare, broke up the stairs, let’s knock on the door. The man woke up, opened the door, and she said, "What do you have here? Why is water around? What are you doing here??? - and here standing in the room, submerged with water, falls and floats out into the corridor. And the neighbor cried out, “Crazy!” He is leaving the boats here!!”

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114800
 14.06.2015
In Ukraine, Yatsenyuk is a citizen of Canada, Poroshenko is a citizen of Switzerland, Klitschko is a citizen of Germany, Kolomoisky is a citizen of Israel.
One Saakashvili is a citizen of Ukraine.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna