In the sixth grade we had such a funny thing. Students prepared various fun tasks or examples in mathematics and told at the board. And here comes out excellent Lena to the board and begins to explain for Jules our Verne, what kind of shit he wrote about 20 thousand lieues underwater. He writes with a crumb how many lieues will be (it is 5556 m), multiplies by 20 thousand, and op - there is no such depth, and it can not be. Jules Verne was wrong, and our Soviet schoolgirl embarrassed the Frenchman.



I, who then read Verne and even carried books with me to school to read on the shifts, raise my hand and say, forgive me, but Verne in the books calculated everything very accurately and although of course I was wrong in determining the maximum depth (not much), but 20 thousand lieues is the length of the way that Nautilus has gone underwater, and not the depth at all. In my opinion, in the publication there was also a map of the route, only there was written about 80 thousand kilometers... And my teacher is like this – sit down, don’t be wise, and Lena is good, Lena is five.

xxx: Can you attach at least a small biography of the model to such photographs? Not to search on the internet.



YYY: Could I still be younger for you?

I remember one day I went to a camp. Ordinary Soviet model. And somewhere on the 4th day of my stay there, we were led to play the Intellectual Games. My team and I answered various questions. The last question was: "Note the name and surname of the President of the United States depicted on the 100-dollar bill." Since I was interested in such facts, I was able to answer that none. Franklin was not a president, he was more in science and public activity. I laughed in my face, saying that this could not happen. That only leaders print on banknotes. But the question was counted as B. Franklin sounded out of my mouth. The first place. However, I had a bad feeling at the time, because I was tried to be exposed as a fool in collective perception.

A five-year-old son spent his savings on toys. I ask, well, son, are you happy now? Yes, he says, but some toys are not enough, more money is needed. I begin to explain that money is simply not enough to be, you need to behave properly, study well and, in the future, work decently. Type, the usual strategic scheme of the appearance of money, and life in general. The son sinked, thought and went out to play the tablet. After a while, I checked his queries on Google: "how to make money from paper", "how to make the ATM issue a lot of money".

Now I think how to understand a child in the language to explain some articles of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

I, being a small 3.14s, painted a ruble with Lenin on paper. How I could, of course. I went to the store and at the box, with a serious face, asked to pierce me some candy. The cashier, apparently deciding not to upset the baby - broke (thank you, good woman!). What a surprise I was when the next day this magic didn’t run through!

Xxx: We opened an unnamed food store sometime in the 00s. And some hooligan on the wall next to him wrote with a balloon "mammon shit." The name of the store was determined and firmly settled in the minds of all the inhabitants of the area. Even adults, including my parents, were accustomed to this name and said, “Go in the shit for bread.”

Xxx: I had a period when the pear was very encouraged by others. He went to the hospital with appendicitis, in the chamber all lay after the operations, all the men. The first sign of the beginning of the proper functioning of the intestines is flatulence, well, the doctors said in any case not to restrain yourself. The collective picked up fun, so it was customary to congratulate the popping loudly and fun) and the louder and more delicious the pop got, the more fun it was in the chamber) not to get sick and not get into uncomfortable situations)))

You need to go to bed on time, not during the day.

Recently, in one discussion, a major physicist said that a real physicist, if he is an honest person, would have trouble answering questions such as: what is entropy, field, spin, or, say, quantum confusion. However, any scientist who is cuddled in Wikipedia and hardened in scratches on the internet, without a whisper and with a sting, will indulgencely scratch the answer to any of these questions with one spirit.
And someone illustrated this point of view with this story:
The English physicist Joseph Thomson once asked a student at an exam, "What is an electron?" The student began to yell and scream, “You know, Professor, I knew, but I forgot...” Thomson grabbed him for his chest and started shouting, “How dare you forget this? You were the only one who knew it!”

The Russian missiles, which will soon be deployed in Nicaragua and Venezuela, will not be targeted against the United States, they will only serve to combat maritime piracy in Mongolia.

Today, 7-30 in the morning, the wife is going to work in the city, we live in the village in a private house. As a loving husband, I go open the gates, start the car. I shifted the swarms, I began to open the swarms (like "in the guests of the fairy tale") and at the same time, loudly, long, with a crack of pear, lengthy, for a few seconds. Naturally, at the same time, a young neighbor leads on the street, next to me, two children by the hand to the school camp, looks at me with a stone face, pronounces:

Good morning to you!! to

Shame on how...

Is it time for a new holiday in Russia? Day to protect children of officials from sanctions

One day, Arkady Raikin came to Kiev with a miniature theatre. At the first performance, someone from the hall shouted the word “Jid.” Raikin stopped the speech, turned into the hall and asked the screaming to get up and leave the hall. Nothing happened. Then Raikin turned to the spectators sitting next to the screaming man, asking to identify the anti-Semite. Nothing happened. Raikin noted that in case of refusal to identify, neighboring spectators become complicit of the scream. Nothing happened. Then Raikin interrupted the performance and completely canceled the tour in Ukraine. The next day, in the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Ukraine, the 1st secretary of the Ukrainian Communist Party, Shcherbitsky, told Raikin: “Why are you interrupting the tour because of one person?” Raikin replied, “There was not one anti-Semit, there was the whole hall.”

It seems to me that the spirit of Zhirinovsky has not rested, is mosquitous, trying to settle in Medvedev, then in Rogozin.

The brightest memories of the new year when my mother and sister gathered everything we could, prepared the whole day without bending the New Year's table: salads cottage and so on and came the bulky father, lay on the couch (the table-book already covered stood next door) and specially unfolded it with his leg. Right on the floor. Everything we cooked. All the supplies, salt and even cake. Naoral that wrongly met the feeder and kicked us out into the entrance. Then I went to bed and we stood and it was so bad! I still remember it...I was 10, and my sister was 8. My mom brought me to the neighbors. And that night, honestly, fell out of memory at all. I do not remember what and how we did. I remember only my mother’s guilty face in front of the neighbors and how we woke him up drunk to get home. He closed it from within. And then on January 1, we cleaned everything, tossed and washed...I don’t like holidays. There is no gram of alcohol at my daughter’s holidays. never ever. Now with her I try to make up my childhood.

XXX: It is dangerous to allow associates to come home.  In our town, an old lady regretted a beetle who was sitting on the stairs in the entrance.  He called home and fed me.  He beat, raped and robbed her.



Yyy: “Man for an hour.”

Never say, “I don’t remember from whom I heard...” It is correct to say: “A number of leading experts believe...”

Now many, as in order, began to defame the Bologna system - said, destroyed, malicious, Russian higher education.
Nixon, dear fellow citizens. Russian higher education began to rot even during the Union, and to its collapse it had time to rot very even substantially. Comrade Stalin would have said, it has perished.
I myself am from a family of High School teachers, and I have heard and seen a lot. I remember the stories of the parents about the hurricane with which the gatewalks of trade and food went on to "settle questions" with the success of their sons and daughters. About how those who did not take bribery were pushed aside by the mafia from more rough and less sensitive colleagues. About chiefs of different calibers, who required a diploma or a scientific degree, and who, according to the decree from the rectorate, were placed in the news "excellent", although they were never seen in the eyes.
The collapse of the Union removed all the brakes. If the teacher took money only for an unfortunate assessment, and placed points on his knowledge to a decent student, without demanding a bribe, this was considered "honest". I remember how jealous I was when on the eve of graduation I was offered a postgraduate degree, which meant a future teaching career. “You’re lucky, guy, there in the session THESE grandmothers are raising!“”
I was disgusted. The department turned into a stall where my scientific supervisor remained one of the few decent people. When I refused, he stared at the floor for a while, then just sneered silently. We said goodbye to that.
The feeling of betrayal still doesn’t let me go, although almost thirty years have passed since that conversation. But I understand that I would not be able to hide among those "like-minded people", and sooner than later, I would have plotted with the cathedral and knocked the door.
There is nothing to blame for in the Bologna system. Its introduction was a naive attempt to establish at least some framework of decency in the decaying education system. Which they themselves were deceived long before they even knew about the Bologna system.

Nowadays, these signs will no longer help to identify a madman.
Talking to himself? Maybe he’s just talking on the phone.
It looks strange? Per it just belongs to subculture.
Do you have crazy ideas? Maybe he’s just a member.

The most successful multiplier is the one who does not share with anyone.